When a friend calls to me from the road
And slows his horse to a meaning walk,
I don’t stand still and look around
On all the hills I haven’t hoed,
And shout from where I am, What is it?
No, not as there is a time to talk.
I thrust my hoe in the mellow ground,
Blade-end up and five feet tall,
And plod: I go up to the stone wall
For a friendly visit.
Today’s Thinking Out Loud reflection is on Lewis Carroll’s work, Alice in Wonderland. Alice in Wonderland is available for free download from Project Gutenberg here.
“Really, now you ask me,” said Alice, very much confused, “I don’t think——”
“Then you shouldn’t talk,” said the Hatter.
Note: The world would be much better if we all chose not to talk without thinking. Often, words act as catalyst for us. We hear words spoken and we react blurting out something without thinking. Unlike a package I ordered from Amazon that I can return, I can’t take back the words I utter once spoken. Angry words, harmful words, words that shame and ridicule, hurt the recipient of the words and detract from the humanity of the one who spoke the words. What do you want your words to do? To build or tear down? To heal or to harm? To lift up and inspire or to repress?
A friend mentioned that his father finds people where he lives (assisted care) unfriendly. His father claims the other residents don’t like to talk. I questioned my friend and found out that his father is waiting for people to come to him and engage him in a conversation. Unfortunately, it’s not the way it works. One has to step out and engage others. It’s how we connect. The more we engage others, the more we become connected and a part of our community. It really is a life changing action.
What if I decided that for today I would not talk about myself, I’d just listen? Did I say OUCH? We like to express our thoughts, tell about our experiences, and reminisce. I recall a funny scene when my dad and my father-in-law were sitting in the living room. My dad was telling my father-in-law about his golf game. My father-in-law was talking about fishing. Both were talking about their experiences, yet, neither one was listening to the other. Afterward, both my dad and father-in-law told me how much they enjoyed speaking to each other. Each of us is filled to overflowing with a desire to express the stuff that makes up our lives. It’s hard when no one is willing to listen. I think I’ll make it a listening day and give some friends a chance to empty their bucket.
And he answered, saying:
You talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts;
And when you can no longer dwell in the solitude of your heart you live in your lips, and sound is a diversion and a pastime.
And in much of your talking, thinking is half murdered.
For thought is a bird of space, that in a cage of words many indeed unfold its wings but cannot fly.
There are those among you who seek the talkative through fear of being alone.
The silence of aloneness reveals to their eyes their naked selves and they would escape.
And there are those who talk, and without knowledge or forethought reveal a truth which they themselves do not understand.
And there are those who have the truth within them, but they tell it not in words.
In the bosom of such as these the spirit dwells in rhythmic silence.
When you meet your friend on the roadside or in the market place, let the spirit in you move your lips and direct your tongue.
Let the voice within your voice speak to the ear of his ear;
For his soul will keep the truth of your heart as the taste of the wine is remembered
When the color is forgotten and the vessel is no more.
