Quotes

Daily inspiring quotes helping to create a positive attitude

A Place Called Home

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“The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.” Maya Angelu

A few years back, I was traveling with four of my doctoral students to our research site. One of the doctoral students said, “Dr. Calabrese, where do you call home?” He knew my career took me to several states. Without hesitation, I said, “Home is where I am with my wife, the person I love most.” He didn’t understand. He said, “My home is Kansas. I knew he wouldn’t understand what I meant.

I’ve never thought of home as a house or a location. I’ve always thought of it as a place where I am with the person or people I love most in this world.

“Home isn’t where you’re from, it’s where you find light when all grows dark.” ~ Pierce Brown

In that particular place, whether it is a house, car, restaurant, or coffee shop, I am at peace because I know I am loved as I am. I have to be no other than who I am.

Now, nine months since Babe died, I am recreating a home. My five daughters live out of state and here I am in Texas, alone, but not lonely. Together with my neighbors and new friends, I am recreating a place I will call home.

“I don’t care if we have our house, or a cliff ledge, or a cardboard box. Home is wherever we all are, together,”  James Patterson

I hope you have a place called home.

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We Are Not Defeated

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“The sea is not less beautiful in our eyes because we know that sometimes ships are wrecked by it.” ― Simone Weil

I enjoy walking barefoot on the seashore. There is something soothing, peaceful about the rhythm of the ocean’s waves. The seagulls and sandpipers dance above and in front of me. I look out over the great expanse of the ocean and marvel at this beautiful, awesome planet I live on. I see the beauty of it. I don’t snap photos with my iPhone. The photos will never do justice to the emotions I feel as I enjoy the scene. I know, at the same time, this peaceful place can turn its back on me and swamp me with high, crashing waves. I’ve seen the videos of the destruction and damage it can cause when its power is unleashed. We have not yet learned how to tame the oceans. It laughs at our puny efforts. All we can do is wait out the fury, knowing it will once again return to its peaceful place. And we can once again walk on its shores enjoying its beauty.

We have not yet learned how to tame the oceans. It laughs at our puny efforts. All we can do is wait out the fury, knowing it will once again return to its peaceful place. And we can once again walk on its shores enjoying its beauty.

It’s the same way with life. We find ourselves in a peaceful space and want to remain in that place for the rest of our lives. It doesn’t work that way. Life’s storms thrash us and knock us down. We are not defeated nor are we destroyed by life’s storms. We know the storms will end and we once again will find our peaceful space.

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Ray’s Recipe for One: The Dark Secrets of the Salmon Slider

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A tabloid headline. Dark secrets. Maybe they’ll publish my blog at the grocery checkout next to the other tabloids. Did you hear broccoli is splitting with red kale? Broccoli has now taken up with asparagus. Go figure. My prediction it won’t last. Besides, asparagus is too good for him (switch the gender thing around if you prefer). It doesn’t matter, it’s not a dream match.

Enough of the tabloid news. I don’t want the paparazzi hanging around my front door. The HOA has strict rules against that kind of behavior.  Then again, my HOA has strict rules against everything.

Pop quiz: What’s the key ingredient for a salmon slider?

Did I hear you say salmon? You did your homework last night. Go to the front of the class. I use salmon with an attitude. That’s right, salmon needs an attitude. How do you pick salmon with an attitude?  It’s free spirited salmon. It’s wild salmon. I like wild salmon from Alaska. When I get my wild, Alaskan salmon, I can almost hear it say, “I’m going to give you a healthy heart. That’s my job.”

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If you’re wondering what the yellow stuff is on the plate with the salmon, it’s EVOO. I put my salmon filet in EVOO and make it double, not make that triple healthy. My heart is doing backflips and I feel like hitting the balance beam after I do my floor exercises. Score me a perfect 10, por favor.

I live in San Antonio. Guacamole goes with everything. I even rub it under my arms when I go out. Only kidding, I don’t want the Guac Squad knocking at the door. How hard is it to make Guac (Guac is guacamole’s nickname). It’s not. The hardest thing is picking the right avocado, that’s a crap shoot. Pick firm, but not too firm (lot of help, right? NOT). Mash up the avocado, add a bit of lemon juice. I add crushed red pepper and it’s ready. Be creative.

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Here’s the deal with a salmon slider. First, onions, a poblano, toss in a jalapeno and a bit of rosemary all in my already heated on high pan. The EVOO is sizzling, BAM, the mix starts sizzling right away. I keep an eye on it. Make that two eyes on it. I have Spotify playing in the background. George Strait is trying to make it to Amarillo by morning.

When the veggies are about ninety percent done, I turn the heat down to medium and add the salmon. I put the cover on the pan, check Twitter, post a photo to Instagram, and check my text messages. Time to flip the salmon, cover the done side with the veggies. Five minutes later, it’s ready for plating.

Man oh man, it doesn’t get any better. You’re going to love it. Your heart will too.

It’s All Good

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“You sanctify whatever you are grateful for.” Anthony DeMello

It’s easy to be grateful when the sun is shining, I’m feeling good, everything is going my way, and each card I turn up is a winner. Why shouldn’t I feel grateful, I deserve it? Or, so I think.

Then life happens. I’m walking across a personal desert. The sun, which I once praised, is now threatening me with its scorching heat. My strength ebbs. I can’t turn a winning card. Grateful? Grateful for what? Or, so I think.

Sorrow and suffering taught me important lessons. I learned to be grateful for all that was. I am grateful for all that is. I will be grateful for all that comes my way. Each morning and evening I recall events with a grateful heart.

A good cup of coffee. Safe shelter. Friends. Neighbors. Daughters. A beautiful sunrise or sunset. A good workout. A chance to pray. The birds that visit the feeder. The ripe cherry tomatoes. The red roses, rosemary, and basil that grow in my garden. The warm sun, or rain. A text, email, or call from family or friends. The list goes on.

It’s all gift. When I receive a gift from someone, I send a thank you note. In like manner, I give thanks to my loving God for all. It’s all good.

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Wrestling With 2 A.M. Thoughts

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“Drag your thoughts away from your troubles… by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.” ~ Mark Twain

Have you ever gone to bed, fallen quickly to sleep, only to awaken a few hours later with your mind running a hundred miles an hour? I have and it’s not fun. I have gremlins running on the treadmills of my mind. I’ll turn this way and that way. When that doesn’t work, I go for a sure-fire solution, I’ll flip my pillow over to get the cold side. Twenty minutes later, there is no cold side. I’m tempted to stick my pillow in the freezer for ten minutes. If the gremlins could eat, I’d get up and make them an omelet. I’d serve it with toast and coffee. I know it’s only wishful thinking. The gremlins must think they’re at a firing range because they’re shooting one thought after another at me in rapid succession. I wish I could follow Mark Twain’s advice. I’d toss a rope around the gremlins and drag them out and leave them homeless at the curb.

It’s not that easy. I wish it were. Here’s a mind trick I use and it often works. Perhaps it will work for you. It’s worth a try when the gremlins decide to fiesta at two a.m. Here’s what I do, I no longer wrestle with the gremlins. They didn’t RSVP. They didn’t reserve a room. They came uninvited. I have no idea when they’ll leave. I literally tell them (please don’t think I’m losing it), “I see you’re back. There’s food in the fridge. Use Netflix or Amazon, keep it down, please. And, oh, by the way, don’t let the door hit you in the butt when you leave.” I turn on my side (I’m a side sleeper) and let the gremlins have at it. I let the thoughts go where they want to go, I don’t engage with them. Then sleep happens. I usually go into a deep sleep. During my sleep, my visitors quietly leave and didn’t let the door hit them in the butt.

 

Thoughts are thoughts are thoughts. We all have them. I’ll give them a break, perhaps my subconscious is dumping them out of my mind and I’ll be in a healthier space in morning.

Sometimes it doesn’t work for me. In those nights I quietly say and visualize Psalm 23. I’m not one to memorize lots of things, but this Psalm is worth the effort.

Here’s hoping you have a great night’s sleep.

Psalm 23

The LORD is my shepherd;

there is nothing I lack.

2 In green pastures he makes me lie down;

to still waters he leads me;

3 He restores my soul.

He guides me along right paths

for the sake of his name.

4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,c

I will fear no evil, for you are with me;

your rod and your staff comfort me.

5 You set a table before me

in front of my enemies;

You anoint my head with oil;

my cup overflows.

6 Indeed, goodness and mercy will pursue me

all the days of my life;

I will dwell in the house of the LORD

 

 

for endless days.

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Drenched in Love

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Where is the door to God?

In the sound of a barking dog,

In the ring of a hammer,

In a drop of rain,

In the face of

Everyone

I see. ~ Hafiz

Those who grieve know grieving is not easy. It’s more like drowning and knowing you have to learn to breathe underwater if you are to survive.

It’s been nine months since Babe died. I am blessed. Each day God’s love drenches me, soaks me through and through. I receive it from the people I exercise with at the Y. I receive it from the checkout clerks at the market. I receive it from the barista at the coffee shops.I receive it from the people I worship with.I receive it from the people I follow on Twitter. I see it in the mockingbirds who sing to me each morning, and the cardinals who sing to me in the evening. It is everywhere, I can’t escape it, nor do I want to escape it. I am no longer sad. Gratitude fills my heart for the life Babe and I shared. It was all grace and gift at the same time. God’s love has taught me how to breathe underwater and I am happy.

I walk into today with arms wide open to receive and share the love heading my way.

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Life Grabs Hold Of Me

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“Those who are wise won’t be busy, and those who are too busy can’t be wise.” ~ Lin Yutang

Life has a way of grabbing hold of me, tossing me in the air, and daring me to land on my feet. I get out of bed, filled with great intentions and goals for the day, then boom, life literally knocks at the door. A neighbor stops by and asks to borrow lawn chairs. I didn’t have time to save my work on the computer, I silently pray there will be no power surge or my Mac decides to freeze. I help my neighbor carry the chairs to his garage. I get back on task, the cell rings.  I see by the caller ID I need to take the call. I hit command s, save my work. I take the call. A friend says, “Can we have coffee in an hour, I need some advice? I push my morning workout to the afternoon. Coffee with my friend takes an hour and a half. I get home in time to make a light lunch. I want my workout. I offer a silent prayer, “Please God, no more interruptions.” Sometimes, I think the angels must laugh and laugh at me. A daughter calls and wants to FaceTime. What’s a dad to do? I happily FaceTime. After our call, I check the time, I can squeeze in a workout. I hurry to Y. Do I hear the angels laughing again? I hit three school zones with the orange lights flashing. I get to the Y.  I hit it hard. On the way out, Jerry, an eighty-something-year-old man calls me over and starts talking. I’ve heard these stories before. I see he needs to talk. I listen as if they are the first time I’ve heard them. This is becoming my typical day.

In the early evening, I sit on the patio and gaze into the sacred space Babe and I created. It is time to pray. I quiet my mind. In a moment of grace, I realize I accomplished none of what I wanted to accomplish, but everything I had to accomplish. Sometimes, you have to let the wind fill your sails and take you where it wants to take you.

I helped a neighbor.

I had coffee with and listened to a friend.

I FaceTimed with my daughters.

I drove safely through the school zones.

I thank God for the grace of letting my business go and embracing His business.

RSVP for a Joy-Filled Place

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This past weekend, one of my daughters and her two girls visited me. Here I am a guy dancing alone, getting into a rhythm of living alone and having my life disrupted. What I eat, when I eat, what I do and when I do it, all disrupted. What a glorious disruption! I wouldn’t trade it.

I played with the girls. We went to the zoo. We went to the pastry counter at HEB’s Central Market. The girls took me out of my game. We all went walking on nature trails. We went out for Tex-Mex. Every moment was joy-filled. I thought often of Babe and how easily she moved out of her game and joined in with whoever was in her presence. I am grateful I followed her example. Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!

It’s a good thing to be taken out of my game. I’ve learned the world doesn’t revolve around my game. I’m on this wonderful planet for the ride. I want to make it a joyful and joy-filled ride. Joy is a shared event. Other people need to be involved. It’s a funny thing, we feed each other’s joy when we are invited into their space.

This week, I will extend an open invitation to all who want to enter my space and share my joy with me. I will also readily accept any RSVP to enter a joy-filled space with another. I think I’ll start passing out the smiles, eye sparkles, and hugs.

Three Cheers for Joy

Designed to Love

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“Don’t brood. Get on with living and loving. You don’t have forever.” – Leo Buscaglia

Babe loved Dr. Leo Buscaglia. She watched his specials on PBS and read his books. She called him Dr. Love. He was a man of deep wisdom, common sense, and compassion who understood enjoying life and loving all you meet are at the center of it all.

Brooding and hosting a pity party for one is bad for the disposition and health. There is no benefit to it. I declare today a national no brooding day. Pity parties are relegated to February 30th. That’s right, there is no February 30th. You and I have today – let’s enjoy every moment, each person, each breath of air.

Think of all the wonderful, marvelous things life gives us to enjoy. I speak for myself. I have five daughters who would help me at the drop of a hat. I have grandchildren who enjoy having me toss a football, play basketball, or tell stories. The birds sing to me every morning, noon, and evening. The sun warms me. Music soothes my spirit and makes me smile.

We are designed to love and be loved. We are given the gift of life and love to enjoy and help others to enjoy. I think I’ll go dancing. I may jump on the stage and sing. I am filled with joy.

 

Keep On Moving

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How do you get through the times?

Keep on moving.

How do you get through the emotionally painful times?

Keep on moving.

How do you get on with your life after a setback?

Keep on moving.

You get the idea – keep on moving. Don’t stop.  Keep on moving. Keep your eyes on the distant goal. Never look down. Never stop.

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