courage

Thinking Out Loud ~ Choose to Live

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We Always Have a Choice

Today I reflect on Margaret Atwood’s commencement speech at the University of Toronto. Ms. Atwood is a Canadian author, poet, and environmental activist.

Margaret Atwood, in her commencement speech, writes, “When faced with the inevitable, you always have a choice. You may not be able to alter reality, but you can alter your attitude towards it.”

Margaret Atwood’s commencement speech is available here.

NOTE: I am writing this post on August 19th. It is the anniversary day of my wife’s death. She suffered from stage 4 glioblastoma. I knew she was going to die but I held out hope, no matter how small, that she would surprise all of her doctors. When she died I was faced with the inevitable. I had a choice falling into a deep depression or somehow clawing my way through my deep state of grieving and discovering how to live again. Each morning I promised myself that I would prove to my five daughters that I could make it on my own. I wanted it to be strong for them. I knew that someday they too will have to face the same challenge. Holding on to that meaning got me through. When faced with the inevitable, where you can’t change reality, choose to live.

Photo for the Day ~ Clear Sailing Ahead

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Thinking Out Loud ~ Do You Dare to Dream?

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Great Achievements Begin with a Dream

James Allen in his book, As a Man Thinketh, writes, “The greatest achievement was at first and for a time a dream. The oak sleeps in the acorn; the bird waits in the egg; and in the highest vision of the soul a waking angel stirs. Dreams are the seedlings of realities.” P. 44

As a Man Thinketh is available online at gutenberg.org under the Harvard Classics.

NOTE: Do you dare to dream? Do you dare to dream a great big dream? Do you feel yourself worthy to have your dream come true? What if the greatest dream you had for yourself came true in this moment? How would you feel? How would your life be different? The first thing you can do to make your dream become reality is to take the first step. The first steps in reaching for our dream are never easy because they are associated with a learning curve. Sometimes the learning curve is steep. That’s where many people fail. They allow the learning curve to tell them that it’s too hard, too difficult, too steep. Those who achieve their dreams keep on pushing, keep on learning, and eventually succeed. It’s up to you.

Thinking Out Loud ~ How Much are you Willing to Sacrifice?

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Great Achievements come from Great Sacrifices

James Allen in his book, As a Man Thinketh, writes, “He who would accomplish little must sacrifice little; he who would achieve much must sacrifice much; he who would attain highly must sacrifice greatly.” P. 42

As a Man Thinketh is available online at gutenberg.org under the Harvard Classics.

NOTE: Think of a time in your life when you achieved something you wanted so badly you could almost taste it. What did you sacrifice to achieve your goal? I felt this way about wanting to earn my doctorate. I had to maintain a full-time job to support my family and so my family and I sacrificed the time we normally spent together so I could achieve my goal. The sacrifice, as it was in my case, is often shared by those who are close to us. When we have a lofty goal, we have to ask ourselves, “How much and what am I willing to sacrifice to achieve this goal.” Great accomplishments come from great sacrifices.

Photo for Today ~ You Got This

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Poem of the Day ~ The Shadow on the Stone

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The Shadow on the Stone

Thomas Hardy

  I went by the Druid stone 
   That stands in the garden white and lone,   
And I stopped and looked at the shifting shadows   
   That at some moments there are thrown
   From the tree hard by with a rhythmic swing,   
   And they shaped in my imagining
To the shade that a well-known head and shoulders   
   Threw there when she was gardening.

      I thought her behind my back,
   Yea, her I long had learned to lack,
And I said: “I am sure you are standing behind me,   
   Though how do you get into this old track?”
   And there was no sound but the fall of a leaf   
   As a sad response; and to keep down grief
I would not turn my head to discover
   That there was nothing in my belief.

      Yet I wanted to look and see
   That nobody stood at the back of me;
But I thought once more: “Nay, I’ll not unvision   
   A shape which, somehow, there may be.”
   So I went on softly from the glade,
   And left her behind me throwing her shade,   
As she were indeed an apparition—
   My head unturned lest my dream should fade.

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Thinking Out Loud ~ Doubt the Doubters

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No Doubt, No Fear, Never Look Back

James Allen in his book, As a Man Thinketh, writes, “Thoughts of doubt and fear never accomplished anything, and never can. They always lead to failure. Purpose, energy, power to do, and all strong thoughts cease when doubt and fear creep in. The will to do springs from the knowledge that we can do. Doubt and fear are the great enemies of knowledge, and he who encourages them, who does not slay them, thwarts himself at every step.” P. 36

As a Man Thinketh is available online at gutenberg.org under the Harvard Classics.

NOTE: When we have a great and legitimate purpose in mind we have the power within to cast away any thoughts of doubt and fear. When we surround ourselves with like-minded people we create an atmosphere that sustains us in times of greatest challenge. I recall a time early on in my career where I was newly hired. A subordinate came to me and said, ‘Ray you’ll never succeed here. You may as well quit before this place kills you.’ This man was pouring doubt and fear into my mind. After he left my office, I called my wife and told her about the conversation. She said, don’t listen to him you will succeed. I did do it and i was highly successful. Don’t listen to the doubters and the naysayers they’re only projecting their fears upon you

Feel Good Tip ~ It’s Going to Turn Out Right

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Optimists Are Healthier

A recent Harvard School of Public Health study found that positive psychological well-being, which includes self-acceptance and positive relations with others, is linked to improved heart health. However, having an optimistic attitude was the biggest predictor of all: People who tend to look on the bright side have fewer heart problems, such as cardiovascular disease. They also have better cholesterol readings: In a separate survey of nearly 1,000 middle aged men and women, those who reported higher levels of optimism had lower levels of triglycerides, or less fat in the blood.

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Note: We didn’t have much materially when I grew up. I did experience lots of love. I also experienced a mom and dad who worked in low blue-collar jobs encouraging my brother and me to learn and go to college. They didn’t complain about the cold winters in an unheated cold water flat. They didn’t complain when they got laid off from the factories. They knew they’d make it. I didn’t know it at the time, but they were passing on their sense of optimism to me. They taught me to keep plugging and sooner or later it’s all going to turn out right. What a great inheritance. Thanks Mom and Dad

Feel Good Tip ~ It’s All So Simple

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You’ll Feel Better

In my experience, the answer seems simple. We can eliminate much of the angst we feel today simply by making an effort to connect. I understand it’s difficult if you’re shy or an introvert or too busy. I understand it’s easy for extroverts and folks who easily move into relationships. When things are difficult for us, that is a a great sign. It is a challenge to learn, grow, and become more adept at something that was once difficult. When we connect with others, the world is a bit more friendly. When we connect with others, we gain an understanding of the other person and his/her struggles, beliefs, and dreams. When we connect with others, we discover we’re all in it together on a grand adventure on our trip around the sun. Connect, connect, connect. You’ll feel better.

Photo of the Day ~ Stay Strong

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