In Episode 28 of my podcast, Journey from Grief to Healing, I describe how grieving and its accompanying partner suffering changed me. It is as if I am seeing my world with a different set of eyes. I also share the fourth promise I made to myself with M.
You can listen to Episode 28 on your favorite podcasting app. or click here to be taken directly to Episode 28. Don’t forget to hit the subscribe button to receive notifications of future episodes.
Learning to Appreciate. A look at appreciative inquiry. Excerpts are taken from, Appreciative Inquiry Handbook (2003) by David Cooperrider, Diana Whitney, and Jacqueline Stravros.
The appreciative inquiry principle of simultaneity recognizes that inquiry and change are not truly separate moments they can and should be simultaneous inquiry is intervention the seeds of change are in the things people think and talk about, the things people discover and learn, and the things that inform dialogue and inspire images of the future they are implicit in the very first question asked. p. 8.
Note: “Where should we go out for dinner?” This simple question changes your life. It demonstrates how inquiry, the question about going out for dinner, and change occur simultaneously. Change occurs since you perhaps planned to kick off your shoes, enjoy a glass of wine, and when you feel right, hope there are leftovers in the fridge for two. By going to the restaurant life is changed. It’s changed by the way you travel, the people you’ll see, and the conversation you’ll have. The questions we ask have the power to determine our destination. Where do you want to go with your life? Are the questions you’re asking the right questions to get your there?
Today’s Thinking Out Loud reflection is on Lewis Carroll’s work, Alice in Wonderland. Alice in Wonderland is available for free download from Project Gutenberg here.
“The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in silence: at last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth, and addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice.
“Who are you?” said the Caterpillar.
This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, “I—I hardly know, sir, just at present—at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.”
Note: We are in a state of constant change. We are not the same people we were ten years, five years , or a year ago. We age. We take in new information. We become influenced by who we meet, the kind of work we do, what we read and who we choose as friends or partners. When you meet someone you haven’t seen in a long time have you ever thought to yourself, ‘He/she changed.’ I have. I see this in family members when I visit. Life has a way of changing us. What’s important during the inevitable change process is to hold on to all that is good, true, and enduring.
Today’s Thinking Out Loud reflection is on Lewis Carroll’s work, Alice in Wonderland. Alice in Wonderland is available for free download from Project Gutenberg here.
“Let me think: was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I’m not the same, the next question is, Who in the world am I? Ah, that’s the great puzzle!” And she began thinking over all the children she knew that were of the same age as herself, to see if she could have been changed for any of them.”
Note: Alice asks an important question: Who am I? Have you asked yourself that question? If we spend time reflecting on the question and allow ourselves to see and hear unpleasant truths, we have a chance to evolve the who we are into the who we want to become. I think we’re always evolving, we have a chance to choose the direction of our evolution. We can eventually evolve and allow ourselves to blossom into something spectacular.
I opened my eyes
And looked up at the rain,
And it dripped in my head
And flowed into my brain,
And all that I hear as I lie in my bed
Is the slishity-slosh of the rain in my head.
I step very softly,
I walk very slow,
I can’t do a handstand–
I might overflow,
So pardon the wild crazy thing I just said–
I’m just not the same since there’s rain in my head.
Joseph Campbell says in Reflections on the Art of Living, “A bit of advice given to a young Native American at the time of his initiation: as you go the way of life, you will see a great chasm. Jump. It is not as wide as you think.” P. 26
Note: When I was teaching at the University, I taught a course on change. I learned a lot about change by teaching about it. I learned I could only change myself and no one else. I also learned that the most difficult step to take in making a change is the first one. Once it is taken everything falls into place. Don’t be afraid. Listen to the wisdom of the Native Americans. The great chasm is not as wide as you think, take the first step and the rest will fall into place.
Joseph Campbell says in Reflections on the Art of Living, “We must be willing to get rid of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.” P. 18
Note: It’s difficult to give up something we’re used to and to work for something we’ve yet to full comprehend. It is like asking someone to give up dessert so they can acquire a healthier body. At first, giving up dessert is painful as the smells ,the sights, and the taste all work against giving it up. iI is the same in any aspect of our lives where we want to make a change. Sometimes we have to let go and leap into the future believing it will all turn out well. It will, trust the leap.
