A doctor accidentally prescribes his patient a laxative instead of a coughing syrup.
Three days later the patient comes for a check-up and the doctor asks: “Well? Are you still coughing?”
The patient replies: “No. I’m afraid to.”
clean jokes
Today’s Smile 😀
My old aunts would come and tease me at weddings, “Well Sarah? Do you think you’ll be next?”
We’ve settled this quickly – I’ve started doing the same to them at funerals.
Today’s Smile 😀
I’m good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet.
I don’t know Y.
Today’s Smile 😃
Laugh a Little
A horse walks into a bar…
The bartender says, “Hey.”
The horse replies, “Sure.”
Today’s Smile 😃
My astronaut girlfriend has dumped me.
She said she needs space.
Today’s Smile 😃
My girlfriend said to me, “I’m sick of you pretending to be a detective. I think we should split up.”
I said, “Good idea – we can cover more ground that way.”
Today’s Smile 😀
A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads “Talking Dog for Sale.” Intrigued, he walks in.
“So what have you done with your life?” he asks the dog.
“I’ve led a very full life,” says the dog. “I lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims. Then I served my country in Iraq. And now I spend my days reading to the residents of a retirement home.”
The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the dog’s owner, “Why on earth would you want to get rid of an incredible dog like that?”
The owner says, “Because he’s a liar! He never did any of that!”
Today’s Smile 😀
A poodle and a collie are walking together when the poodle suddenly unloads on his friend. “My life is a mess,” he says. “My owner is mean, my girlfriend ran away with a schnauzer, and I’m as jittery as a cat.”
“Why don’t you go see a psychiatrist?” suggests the collie.
“I can’t,” says the poodle. “I’m not allowed on the couch.”
Today’s Smile 😃
I asked my Mom if I was ugly.
She said, “I told you not to call me Mom in front of people.”
Today’s Smile 😀
Laugh a Little
A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened.
The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”
