death

Thinking Out Loud ~ Choose to Live

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We Always Have a Choice

Today I reflect on Margaret Atwood’s commencement speech at the University of Toronto. Ms. Atwood is a Canadian author, poet, and environmental activist.

Margaret Atwood, in her commencement speech, writes, “When faced with the inevitable, you always have a choice. You may not be able to alter reality, but you can alter your attitude towards it.”

Margaret Atwood’s commencement speech is available here.

NOTE: I am writing this post on August 19th. It is the anniversary day of my wife’s death. She suffered from stage 4 glioblastoma. I knew she was going to die but I held out hope, no matter how small, that she would surprise all of her doctors. When she died I was faced with the inevitable. I had a choice falling into a deep depression or somehow clawing my way through my deep state of grieving and discovering how to live again. Each morning I promised myself that I would prove to my five daughters that I could make it on my own. I wanted it to be strong for them. I knew that someday they too will have to face the same challenge. Holding on to that meaning got me through. When faced with the inevitable, where you can’t change reality, choose to live.

Daily Inspirational Quotes ~ Death Where is Thy Sting?

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“Death is not extinguishing the light; it is only putting out the lamp because the dawn has come.”

Rabindranath Tagore

Thinking Out Loud ~ Three Ways to Experiencing Meaning In Life

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Victor Frankl says in Man’s Search for Meaning, speaks of three ways in which we can find meaning. He says, “(1) by creating a work or by doing a deed; (2) by experiencing something or encountering someone; and (3) by the attitude we take toward unavoidable suffering. P. 115

NOTE: Frankl’s words resonate with me. I discovered meaning (at various times in my life) in each of the three ways he describes. I found meaning in the publication of my research and books while I was a university professor. I found meaning in the love I shared with my wife and for my children. And, I found meaning in the unavoidable suffering I experienced with the death of my wife. I was determined to show my daughters I was strong enough cope with the suffering I was experiencing. I wanted to be an example for them. How have you experienced the types of meaning Frankl describes?

Poem for Today ~ Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep

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Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep

Mary Frye

Do not stand at my grave and forever weep.
I am not there; I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn’s rain.

When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and forever cry.
I am not there. I did not die.

Source

Something to think About ~ Following One’s Intuition

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Viktor Frankl, in Man’s Search for Meaning, spoke of being put on a list to go on a transport to a rest camp. Those who know him told him not to go. It was a trick, they were really sending him to the gas chambers. Frankl’s intuition told him to go and let fate take its course. Later, he discovered that if he had stayed, he would’ve died. It reminded him of the story, The Death in Teheran.

Here is the story: a rich and mighty Persian once walked in his garden with one of the servants, the servant cried that he had just encountered Death who had threatened him. He begged his master to give him his fastest horse, so he could make haste in flee to Teheran, which he could reach that same evening. The master consented and the servant galloped off on the horse. The master on returning to his house himself met Death, and questioned him, “Why did you terrify and threaten my servant?” “I did not threaten him; I only showed surprise in still finding him here when I planned to meet him tonight in Teheran,” said Death. (p. 66)

Today’s Poem ~ I Know that He Exists

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I Know that He Exists

Emily Dickinson

I know that He exists.
Somewhere — in Silence —
He has hid his rare life
From our gross eyes.

‘Tis an instant’s play.
‘Tis a fond Ambush —
Just to make Bliss
Earn her own surprise!

But — should the play
Prove piercing earnest —
Should the glee — glaze —
In Death’s — stiff — stare —

Would not the fun
Look too expensive!
Would not the jest —
Have crawled too far!

 

Source

Today’s Poem ~ And Death Shall Have No Dominion

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And Death Shall Have No Dominion

Dylan Thomas

And death shall have no dominion.
Dead men naked they shall be one
With the man in the wind and the west moon;
When their bones are picked clean and the clean bones gone,
They shall have stars at elbow and foot;
Though they go mad they shall be sane,
Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again;
Though lovers be lost love shall not;
And death shall have no dominion.

And death shall have no dominion.
Under the windings of the sea
They lying long shall not die windily;
Twisting on racks when sinews give way,
Strapped to a wheel, yet they shall not break;
Faith in their hands shall snap in two,
And the unicorn evils run them through;
Split all ends up they shan’t crack;
And death shall have no dominion.

And death shall have no dominion.
No more may gulls cry at their ears
Or waves break loud on the seashore;
Where blew a flower may a flower no more
Lift its head to the blows of the rain;
Through they be mad and dead as nails,
Heads of the characters hammer through daisies;
Break in the sun till the sun breaks down,
And death shall have no dominion.

Today’s Poem ~ And Death Shall Have No Dominion

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And Death Shall Have No Dominion

Dylan Thomas

And death shall have no dominion.

Dead man naked they shall be one
With the man in the wind and the west moon;
When their bones are picked clean and the clean bones gone,
They shall have stars at elbow and foot;
Though they go mad they shall be sane,
Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again;
Though lovers be lost love shall not;
And death shall have no dominion.

And death shall have no dominion.
Under the windings of the sea
They lying long shall not die windily;
Twisting on racks when sinews give way,
Strapped to a wheel, yet they shall not break;
Faith in their hands shall snap in two,
And the unicorn evils run them through;
Split all ends up they shan’t crack;
And death shall have no dominion.

And death shall have no dominion.
No more may gulls cry at their ears
Or waves break loud on the seashores;
Where blew a flower may a flower no more
Lift its head to the blows of the rain;
Though they be mad and dead as nails,
Heads of the characters hammer through daisies;
Break in the sun till the sun breaks down,
And death shall have no dominion.

Do Not Stand on my Grave and Weep ~ Mary Elizabeth Frye

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Do Not Stand on my Grave and Weep

Mary Elizabeth Frye

Do not stand at my grave and weep 
I am not there. I do not sleep. 
I am a thousand winds that blow. 
I am the diamond glints on snow. 
I am the sunlight on ripened grain. 
I am the gentle autumn rain. 
When you awaken in the morning's hush 
I am the swift uplifting rush 
Of quiet birds in circled flight. 
I am the soft stars that shine at night. 
Do not stand at my grave and cry; 
I am not there. I did not die. 

Life is Tough ~ But You’re Tougher

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Dr. Ray Calabrese, author or Dancing Alone: Learning to Live Again, answers a reader’s question related to her inability to move on after the death of her husband. Ray offers encouragement and a way for the reader to summon her strength and resilience to move on.

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