Joe: “My girlfriend and I were cleaning our apartment when she hollered at me.”
Pete: “What did she say?”
Joe: “She said, “It’s a toilet brush not a microphone.”
humor
Today’s Joke: Joe Compares His GF to His Shower
Joe: “My shower is like my girlfriend.”
Pete: “How so, Joe?”
Joe: “It’s either scalding hot or ice cold.”
Today’s Joke: Is Joe Reading a Self Help Book?
Joe: “I’m reading a book that explains everything about my life.”
Pete: “What’s the book’s title?”
Joe: “Inertia.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Helps His GF Make a Decision
Joe: “My girlfriend can’t decide if she wants to be hair stylist or a novelist.”
Pete: “Did you give her any advice?”
Joe: “Yah. I told her to flip a coin and see if it landed heads or tales.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Orders Coffee from Starbucks
Joe: “I went to Starbucks and ordered a coffee without cream.”
Pete: “Did they get your order right?”
Joe: ‘Not quite. The barista said, ‘We’re out of cream, how about no milk?'”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Into Astronomy
Joe: “Do you like Orion’s Belt?”
Pete: “I guess.”
Joe: “I give it three stars.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s GF Gives Him Advice
Joe: “This morning, over breakfast with my girlfriend, I was telling her about my talk today. She gave me some advice.”
Pete: “What did she say?”
Joe: “She said, ‘Don’t try to be charming, intelligent, or witty. Just be yourself.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Challenges His Night School Professor
Joe: “I told my night school professor I didn’t deserve an F on my test and he agreed with me.”
Pete: “He did? What did he say?”
Joe: “He said, F was the lowest grade the computers allowed him to give me.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Dream Comes True
Joe: “My dream has finally come true. I was accepted at Harvard.”
Pete: “Do you know how many applied?”
Joe: “Yah, I was selected out of 100 to be a janitor.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s GF Asks Joe a Question
Joe: “My girlfriend asked me if I heard of Pavlov.”
Pete: “What did you say?”
Joe: “It rings a bell.”
