jokes

Today’s Smile šŸ˜ƒ

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I refused to believe my road worker father was stealing from his job.

When I got home all the signs were there.

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Today’s Smile šŸ˜ƒ

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ā€œIā€™m going to donate my body to science, and keep my Dad happy.

He always wanted me to go to medical school.ā€

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Today’s Smile šŸ˜ƒ

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A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.

After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, “I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles.”

“She did,” he replied. “But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?”

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Today’s Smile šŸ˜ƒ

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Dentist: “You need a crown.”

Patient: “Finally someone who understands me”

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Today’s Smile šŸ˜ƒ

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Q: Who is a Christmas treeā€™s favorite singer?
A: Spruce Springsteen

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Today’s Smile šŸ˜ƒ

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This is my step ladder.

I never knew my real ladder.”

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Today’s Smile šŸ˜ƒ

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ā€œI was raised as an only child, which really annoyed my sister.ā€

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Today’s Smile šŸ˜ƒ

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“I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, ‘Well,Ā that’sĀ not going to happen.'”

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Today’s Smile šŸ˜€

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IĀ started a band called 999 Megabytes

We havenā€™t gotten a gig yet.

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Today’s Smile šŸ˜ƒ

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“Doctor, there’s a patient on line 1 that says he’s invisible”

“Well, tell him I can’t see him right now.”

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