laugh

A man walks into a library and asks if they have any books about paranoia.

Librarian: “They’re right behind you!!”

Q: What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator?

A: A friend you can count on.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?

He’s all right now!

I was at the museum recently.

I asked a worker there if I was allowed to take pictures.

He said no, they had to stay on the walls.

Source

I challenged the number 1 to a fight . . .

. . . but he brought his friends 3, 5, 7, and 9.

The odds were against me.

Source

 I’ve been saying “Mucho” to all of my Mexican friends.

It means a lot to them. 

Source

A man walked into a hardware store, picked up a can of fly spray and asked the assistant, “Is this good for wasps?”

He said, “No, it kills them.”

Source