Have you ever given your best advice to someone you love then watched them ignore it? I have. Some folks have to learn the hard way. They believe they have all the answers. We create anxiety for ourselves when we give advice to people we know will not listen to us. It takes effort, but letting go and letting others figure it out for themselves is often best. When we keep our own counsel we relieve our pressure and those who are not listening eventually will learn a hard lesson.
Today I reflect on Margaret Atwood’s commencement speech at the University of Toronto. Ms. Atwood is a Canadian author, poet, and environmental activist.
Margaret Atwood, in her commencement speech, writes, “When faced with the inevitable, you always have a choice. You may not be able to alter reality, but you can alter your attitude towards it.”
Margaret Atwood’s commencement speech is available here.
NOTE: I am writing this post on August 19th. It is the anniversary day of my wife’s death. She suffered from stage 4 glioblastoma. I knew she was going to die but I held out hope, no matter how small, that she would surprise all of her doctors. When she died I was faced with the inevitable. I had a choice falling into a deep depression or somehow clawing my way through my deep state of grieving and discovering how to live again. Each morning I promised myself that I would prove to my five daughters that I could make it on my own. I wanted it to be strong for them. I knew that someday they too will have to face the same challenge. Holding on to that meaning got me through. When faced with the inevitable, where you can’t change reality, choose to live.
James Allen in his book, As a Man Thinketh, writes, “The greatest achievement was at first and for a time a dream. The oak sleeps in the acorn; the bird waits in the egg; and in the highest vision of the soul a waking angel stirs. Dreams are the seedlings of realities.” P. 44
As a Man Thinketh is available online at gutenberg.org under the Harvard Classics.
NOTE: Do you dare to dream? Do you dare to dream a great big dream? Do you feel yourself worthy to have your dream come true? What if the greatest dream you had for yourself came true in this moment? How would you feel? How would your life be different? The first thing you can do to make your dream become reality is to take the first step. The first steps in reaching for our dream are never easy because they are associated with a learning curve. Sometimes the learning curve is steep. That’s where many people fail. They allow the learning curve to tell them that it’s too hard, too difficult, too steep. Those who achieve their dreams keep on pushing, keep on learning, and eventually succeed. It’s up to you.
Alice Morse Earle
What is one nice thing you can do today for someone? There are an infinite number of opportunities. You can do something as simple as sending a text with an inspiring quote. Not sure where to find an inspiring quote? Here is a great website loaded with quotes to lift your spirit: BrainyQuote. Don’t want to send a quote? Send a text and simply say, “Thinking of you. Hope you are doing well.” You can copy and paste from this post. It’s easy to do something simple that means a lot to others.
James Allen in his book, As a Man Thinketh, writes, “Thoughts of doubt and fear never accomplished anything, and never can. They always lead to failure. Purpose, energy, power to do, and all strong thoughts cease when doubt and fear creep in. The will to do springs from the knowledge that we can do. Doubt and fear are the great enemies of knowledge, and he who encourages them, who does not slay them, thwarts himself at every step.” P. 36
As a Man Thinketh is available online at gutenberg.org under the Harvard Classics.
NOTE: When we have a great and legitimate purpose in mind we have the power within to cast away any thoughts of doubt and fear. When we surround ourselves with like-minded people we create an atmosphere that sustains us in times of greatest challenge. I recall a time early on in my career where I was newly hired. A subordinate came to me and said, ‘Ray you’ll never succeed here. You may as well quit before this place kills you.’ This man was pouring doubt and fear into my mind. After he left my office, I called my wife and told her about the conversation. She said, don’t listen to him you will succeed. I did do it and i was highly successful. Don’t listen to the doubters and the naysayers they’re only projecting their fears upon you
A recent Harvard School of Public Health study found that positive psychological well-being, which includes self-acceptance and positive relations with others, is linked to improved heart health. However, having an optimistic attitude was the biggest predictor of all: People who tend to look on the bright side have fewer heart problems, such as cardiovascular disease. They also have better cholesterol readings: In a separate survey of nearly 1,000 middle aged men and women, those who reported higher levels of optimism had lower levels of triglycerides, or less fat in the blood.
Note: We didn’t have much materially when I grew up. I did experience lots of love. I also experienced a mom and dad who worked in low blue-collar jobs encouraging my brother and me to learn and go to college. They didn’t complain about the cold winters in an unheated cold water flat. They didn’t complain when they got laid off from the factories. They knew they’d make it. I didn’t know it at the time, but they were passing on their sense of optimism to me. They taught me to keep plugging and sooner or later it’s all going to turn out right. What a great inheritance. Thanks Mom and Dad
