life

You’re Asking Me?

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La Flor Series Episode 2

“This is my plan for today, Ray, listen up?”

“I thought I left you in yesterday’s blog.”

“Sorry, back by popular demand. Return engagement. Performance extended for another two weeks, with the potential for more.”

“Who’s making this deal with you? Certainly not me.”

“I made it behind your back with the WordPress folks. They’re more understanding and future thinking than you.”

“I don’t want to take offense, but I take offense. I’m a forward thinking guy. Most guys place the roll of toilet paper so the paper comes out on the backside of the roll. Not me. I’m a forward thinker, The paper rolls out right over the top, forward side – get it.”

Really interesting, Ray. Tell me more.”

“For another thing, I fold or hang the laundry when it comes out of the dryer. I don’t stuff it in a drawer or drop it on the floor in the closet like most of my species.”

“Are you aiming to be on the cover of Men’s Magazine. Forget it, you don’t qualify.”

“I don’t”

“You don’t eat red meat. Yah, you’re in shape but we got to work on getting a six-pack. There both qualifiers. Read the small print. You need me. I can help you get to where you’re going.”

“Where am I going?”

“You’re asking me? You, really, really, really need me.”

That’s the way life is; it is a series of stops and starts. We get to where we’re going and we realize we have to keep going. Then, one day, we realize there is only one place we want to go, we hear the message in our heart, and we change. Everything is different. We are different. I know where I am going, and it has made all the difference in my life.

Gypsy, The German Shepherd’s Wisdom

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I had a German Shepherd. Her name was Gypsy. One of my daughters painted a portrait of Gypsy I keep hanging on a wall. If you’ve had a pet you’ve considered a friend, you can understand the relationship I had with Gypsy.

She was an athlete. She could run with the wind. Catch Frisbees tossed at seemingly impossible angles. I’d toss a tennis ball sixty feet in the air and she’d snag as if she were playing centerfield in the majors. Most of all, Gypsy was a friend. Where I’d go, Gypsy wouldn’t be far behind. I’d often go in the yard with Gypsy to relax. She had a way of helping me forget work and setting aside other things holding my mind captive.

Today, I picture Gypsy lying on the ground in front of me. She has a look in her eye, partly mischevious, partly playful, and always loving. In my mind’s eye, I ask Gypsy, “Tell me about life, Gypsy. You enjoy every moment. What’s your secret?”

Gypsy cocks her head a bit to the side and gives me a quizzical look. She says, “Ray, what’s all the fuss? Lighten up.”

“Easy for you to say Gypsy. Cut me a little slack.”

Gyspy shakes her head, “I’m going to give you special dog secrets.”

I look incredulously at her, “Dog secrets?”

“That’s right, dog secrets. Heads up. If you nod off, I’ll wake you with a ferocious bark.”

“I’m all ears, don’t take that remark personally.”

I think she is smiling. Some claim dogs don’t smile, but I believe Gypsy smiled all the time.

Gypsy says, “Don’t interrupt me. I’m giving you wisdom that’s evolved in the canine breed over ions.”

“I’m waiting.”

“Whenever you get a chance, curl up in the sun and enjoy its warm rays. If you can do it on the sofa, all the better. When someone you love comes through the door, meet them, greet them, and hug them. Whatever food is served, be grateful for it, it’s all good and it’s all going to the same place. Get exercise – plenty of it. Exercise is always better when you’re doing it with someone you love. Most of all, enjoy the moment. Don’t think ahead. Tomorrow comes quick enough. And, be loyal, protect those you love. After all, we’re family. It’s all good, Ray. It’s all good,

Thank you, Gypsy. Thank you for your enduring wisdom.

German Shepherd

Courage To Try

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“To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thoughts About Courage

It takes courage to live.

It takes courage to live an honorable life.

It takes courage to rise from defeat and begin anew.

It takes courage to stand up for what is right in the face of many who think you are wrong.

It takes courage to be a good mom.

It takes courage to be a good dad.

It takes courage to study in school and excel.

Doing the right thing. Living the right way. Leaving a legacy for which to feel proud takes living a life of courage.

It can be done

Love Finds A Way

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This past weekend, Mother’s Day, I traveled to Illinois to spend time with a daughter and her family. It’s my first Mother’s Day without Babe. No sadness, a time for celebration for what was, what is, and what will be.

Love finds a way to heal.

Love finds a way to renew.

Love finds a way to rekindle the fire of life.

Love always finds a way through even the darkest of nights.

Love is the beginning, the middle and the new beginnings of all things.

Love Finds a way

Always trust love.

Love always finds a way

Life Grabs Hold Of Me

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“Those who are wise won’t be busy, and those who are too busy can’t be wise.” ~ Lin Yutang

Life has a way of grabbing hold of me, tossing me in the air, and daring me to land on my feet. I get out of bed, filled with great intentions and goals for the day, then boom, life literally knocks at the door. A neighbor stops by and asks to borrow lawn chairs. I didn’t have time to save my work on the computer, I silently pray there will be no power surge or my Mac decides to freeze. I help my neighbor carry the chairs to his garage. I get back on task, the cell rings.  I see by the caller ID I need to take the call. I hit command s, save my work. I take the call. A friend says, “Can we have coffee in an hour, I need some advice? I push my morning workout to the afternoon. Coffee with my friend takes an hour and a half. I get home in time to make a light lunch. I want my workout. I offer a silent prayer, “Please God, no more interruptions.” Sometimes, I think the angels must laugh and laugh at me. A daughter calls and wants to FaceTime. What’s a dad to do? I happily FaceTime. After our call, I check the time, I can squeeze in a workout. I hurry to Y. Do I hear the angels laughing again? I hit three school zones with the orange lights flashing. I get to the Y.  I hit it hard. On the way out, Jerry, an eighty-something-year-old man calls me over and starts talking. I’ve heard these stories before. I see he needs to talk. I listen as if they are the first time I’ve heard them. This is becoming my typical day.

In the early evening, I sit on the patio and gaze into the sacred space Babe and I created. It is time to pray. I quiet my mind. In a moment of grace, I realize I accomplished none of what I wanted to accomplish, but everything I had to accomplish. Sometimes, you have to let the wind fill your sails and take you where it wants to take you.

I helped a neighbor.

I had coffee with and listened to a friend.

I FaceTimed with my daughters.

I drove safely through the school zones.

I thank God for the grace of letting my business go and embracing His business.

Designed to Love

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“Don’t brood. Get on with living and loving. You don’t have forever.” – Leo Buscaglia

Babe loved Dr. Leo Buscaglia. She watched his specials on PBS and read his books. She called him Dr. Love. He was a man of deep wisdom, common sense, and compassion who understood enjoying life and loving all you meet are at the center of it all.

Brooding and hosting a pity party for one is bad for the disposition and health. There is no benefit to it. I declare today a national no brooding day. Pity parties are relegated to February 30th. That’s right, there is no February 30th. You and I have today – let’s enjoy every moment, each person, each breath of air.

Think of all the wonderful, marvelous things life gives us to enjoy. I speak for myself. I have five daughters who would help me at the drop of a hat. I have grandchildren who enjoy having me toss a football, play basketball, or tell stories. The birds sing to me every morning, noon, and evening. The sun warms me. Music soothes my spirit and makes me smile.

We are designed to love and be loved. We are given the gift of life and love to enjoy and help others to enjoy. I think I’ll go dancing. I may jump on the stage and sing. I am filled with joy.

 

Life Is For The Courageous

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“I can’t change the past, but I can make tomorrow better.” ~ unknown

I can’t count the times I would have changed the past if I had the power to change it. I can’t.  In hindsight, I’ve come to view the past as my unique journey. My pilgrimage through the wilderness called life. Life isn’t for the faint of heart, the weak of knees. It’s for the courageous. It is for those whose hearts burn a candle of hope. It is for those who understand the past is a teacher and the present moment to be embraced with an eye toward tomorrow. I let four principles guide me.

  1. I know what I do today will shape my tomorrow.
  2. I know I don’t have to live in yesterday, I’ve already lived there. I take what is good, leave the rest behind.
  3. I know my dreams are important to shaping my tomorrow. I will dream big dreams and I will not give up on them.
  4. I know, if my heart is right, my eyes on the ultimate goal, wherever I travel in the wilderness of life, I am guided by faith and it will end well.

Tough Words From A Tough Teacher

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The Prayer of St. Francis

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy;

O Divine Master,
Grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console;
To be understood as to understand;
To be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Not a day goes by where life doesn’t teach me a lesson. Most days I’m too busy to listen to what life is trying to teach me. There are times when I have no choice but to listen. Nine months ago life knocked me down. I lay flat on my back. Life towered over me and said, “You’re going to listen to me. You’ve no choice. Whether you take to heart the lesson I’m going to give you is up to you. But you will listen to what I have to say.” Tough words from a tough teacher.

It’s strange how life’s challenges always come down to a choice. I have the freedom to choose. I can choose to hear life’s lesson, learn from it, and grow. Or, I can hear it, refuse to embrace it, and shrivel. It’s always my choice. The ultimate freedom.

Losing someone I deeply loved knocked me flat on my back. I chose not to stay down, but to get up and learn the lessons life is trying to teach this reluctant learner.  The words of Saint Francis of Assisi sum up many of life’s lessons for me. It’s my job to live them more fully day by day. Life will continue to teach me each day until my days are over and by that time I hope to have learned and applied all I need to go on to the next part of my journey.

Alone But Not Lonely

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Lying, thinking
Last night
How to find my soul a home
Where water is not thirsty
And bread loaf is not stone
I came up with one thing
And I don’t believe I’m wrong
That nobody,
But nobody
Can make it out here alone. ~ Alone by Maya Angelou
Being alone takes a lot of getting used to. Anyone can make a bed, cook a healthy meal, exercise, and read a book.
Being alone takes a lot of getting used to.
Being alone is missing the mug clink with coffee cups in the morning. It’s missing the surprise kisses that come out of nowhere, for no reason other than someone loves you. It’s missing silly conversations, laughing together, and walking hand in hand, words not needed.
Being alone takes a lot of getting used to.
“That nobody, but nobody, can make it out here alone.” The truth in Maya Angelu’s poem resonates deep within me. I discovered that life calls me to reach out to others. I’m getting used to saying, “Hi, my name is Ray, what’s yours?” At first, it was difficult, extending my arm, smiling, and introducing myself. It’s not something most people make a daily habit. I do. And, it has made all the difference. I no longer feel alone, although I’m dancing alone. I discovered a genuine warmth, compassion, and love in the people I’ve met. In spite of the cable news, the world is a friendly place, people are good, and each person I meet brightens my life.
Hi, my name is Ray. What’s yours?

Live with Hope.

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Accepting the Absurd

I grew up in a mill town, 30 miles south of Boston. My mom and dad worked in shoe factories in my early years. Across the street from our apartment home was a four-story shoe factory converted into a chicken factory. I’m not sure how many chickens were in the factory at any given time, thousands, probably. In the summer, when it was hot, and the wind fresh from the south, the not so fragrant smell of chicken manure hung in the air so thick you could almost see it. Everyone in the apartments thought it was normal. No one ever complained. Smelling chicken manure was our everyday experience. That memory came back to me when I thought of about my blog. A childhood experience is teaching me an important lesson for where I am at in my dancing alone life.

What is the lesson? Don’t live across the street from a chicken factory, right? That a lesson for sure, but not the one I that came to mind. The lesson I learned was more like understanding how getting used to things is easy and often makes the absurd feel normal. If I get used to feeling sorry for myself it soon feels normal. I may want company and hang around with people who shared the same philosphy. Man, that kind of company I don’t need. Or, as my dad would say, “Ray, I need that like I need a hole in the head.” He frequently said that, honest.

I have another choice, I can wake up, realize I don’t have to be stuck in an emotionally or physically unhealthy place. I can declare, I choose to live. I choose to embrace life. I choose to be around people who are happy, optimistic, and see life as a wonderful God-give gift.

Takeaways:

Live with hope.

Live with joy in your heart and song on your lips.

Never quit, never give up.

Down? Shake yourself off, rise, and going again.

 

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