Joy shakes me like the wind that lifts a sail,
Like the roistering wind
That laughs through stalwart pines.
It floods me like the sun
On rain-drenched trees
That flash with silver and green.
I abandon myself to joy—
I laugh—I sing.
Too long have I walked a desolate way,
Too long stumbled down a maze
Bewildered.
I was talking to a friend at the gym today. My friend also lives in my neighborhood. I mentioned another neighbor who was doing some landscaping. My gym friend went off on her and told me why he didn’t like her. His take was much different than min. I viewed her as kind and compassionate. She was there for me during my two hip operations. Two different takes on the same person. When we overlook another’s faults, there’s a good chance they’ll overlook our faults. The world is always a bit better when we see the good in each other.
Today I began reflecting on “Walking,” by Henry David Thoreau. Walking is available online and gutenberg.org under the Harvard Classics.
Thoreau writes, “It is true, we are but faint-hearted crusaders, even the walkers, nowadays, who undertake no persevering, never-ending enterprises. Our expeditions are but tours, and come round again at evening to the old hearth-side from which we set out. Half the walk is but retracing our steps. We should go forth on the shortest walk, perchance, in the spirit of undying adventure, never to return. … If you are ready to leave father and mother, and brother and sister, and wife and child and friends, and never see them again—if you have paid your debts, and made your will, and settled all your affairs, and are a free man, then you are ready for a walk.” Pg. 233
NOTE: We’ve forgotten the adventure of walking. We plug EarPods into our ears. We talk on our smart phones. We scroll through social media accounts and miss the adventure. Think of what you are missing on your walk adventure. You’re missing meeting other walkers. Maybe you’ve missed out on making a good friend. You’ve missed out on a beautiful sunrise or sunset, or the darkening swirl of storm clouds gathering. Is it time to make walking an adventure again?
In her book, We Should All be Feminists, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie writes, “We say to girls: you can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful but not too successful otherwise you will threaten the man.” P. 26
NOTE: I have five daughters. When my wife and I were raising the girls we hoped they would fall in love forever. We also knew that sometimes that relationships don’t always work out. So, we also raised them to be strong, independent women who could take care of themselves. All five have turned out to be strong and independent, yet highly capable of having loving relationships.
In her book, We Should All be Feminists, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie writes about her experience in a Nigerian restaurant where the waiter will speak to the man and ignore her. She writes, “I know that they don’t intend harm, but it is one thing to know something intellectually and quite another to feel it emotionally. Each time they ignore me, I feel invisible. … I want to tell them I am just as human as the man, just as worthy of acknowledgement.” P.20
NOTE: You may be thinking, ‘Yes, that happened in Nigeria, it doesn’t happen in the U.S. or other western countries.’ I speak from personal experience in academia. As the only assistant professor in my department I could speak, but I wasn’t heard. I quickly learned I hadn’t yet been accepted. I was invisible. Later, in my career, when I was a full professor, I spoke in defense of a woman seeking to be promoted to full professor. The other full professors voted unanimously to deny her promotion. They were angry with me for being the lone holdout. I quickly became invisible to them. Perhaps you’ve had similar experiences of feeling invisible. I’d like to hear from you.
I am reading “We Should All be Feminists” by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. Ms. Adichie is a well-known Nigeran author who Time Magazine named as one of the one hundred most influential people in the world in 2015. Her book, “We Should All be Feminists” was taken from a Ted Talk and initiated a global conversation about feminism. Hope you enjoy the snippets I share with you from her book and my reflections on them.
In her book, We Should All be Feminists, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie writes, “If we do something over and over it becomes normal period if we see the same thing over and over, it becomes normal.” Pg. 12
NOTE: I’d like to add, “If we hear something over and over, we begin to believe it’s true. When I was a young kid, one of my chores was to mow the lawn. There was one way to mow the lawn, my dad’s way. I found myself, years later, mowing the lawn in the same way until I decided it was okay to mow it a different way. When I did, I wasn’t struck by lightning. I didn’t have a coronary. And the sun continued to rise and set right on schedule. Unless we question why we’re doing something over and over we may miss out on a better way to do it.
