Loneliness hits differently during the holidays. In this episode, Dr. Ray Calabrese explores why loneliness intensifies this time of year, how it disconnects us from others and from ourselves, and what small acts of connection can begin to soften its weight. Featuring poetry from Edgar Guest and Maya Angelou, this episode offers gentle insight, comfort, and a simple action step to help you feel less alone.
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there are worse things than
being alone
but it often takes decades
to realize this
and most often
when you do
it’s too late
and there’s nothing worse
than
too late.
Charles Bukowski’s Oh Yes captures the uncomfortable truth that loneliness is often feared more than it deserves. In a world that prizes constant connection, silence and solitude can feel like failures rather than gifts. Bukowski reminds us that being alone isn’t the worst fate—sometimes, it’s the place where we discover who we really are. Yet, he also warns that wisdom about life’s true priorities often comes late, after we’ve spent decades chasing things that leave us empty. The heartbreak of too late is not loneliness itself but the realization that we’ve wasted the moments when life invited us to simply be—whole and content, even in solitude.
Come to my place one night, without notice
Don’t make the stairs creak
I am so tired, don’t ask
Only you can understand me
Let’s sit down and talk all night
Nobody to hear us
Let’s have our blue sky
And let’s fly, my wings touching yours.
I feel alienated from all people
There is only you
I am so tired, don’t ask
You know.
Halina Poswiatowska
share with me
the daily bread of my loneliness
fill with your presence
the absent walls
gild
the nonexistent window
be a door
above all a door
which can be thrown
wide open
Sometimes when I’m lonely,
Don’t know why,
Keep thinkin’ I won’t be lonely
By and by.
While connecting with loved ones has been harder — and different to what we’re used to — it holds great power. “One of the most important things for feeling happier is our connections with other people..
“If we can do something that helps us to stay connected, that amplifies the feel-good effect that we get from other people. Feeling connected is so important for our wellbeing. Chronic loneliness can, in severe cases, be as damaging to our health as smoking or obesity. If you’re lonely that’s a signal that you need to connect with people. It’s a bit like if you’re thirsty you go to get a glass of water.”
What if I were aware of those who pass my way who are lonely? What would I do? Would I keep walking and ignore them? Or, would I offer a friendly greeting? According to researchers 58% of Americans feel that no one really knows them. And, 30% of older adults consider themselves lonely. Loneliness is not listed as a disease, yet, loneliness is linked to an early death, depression, poor sleep among others. What if we stepped out of our comfort zone and made a lonely person feel not so alone? A simple greeting can turn a person’s life around.
“You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with.” ~ Wayne Dyer
In this short video I answer a reader’s question about loneliness and grieving. I offer the reader encouragement and a way to shed the burden of loneliness and move on with his life.
Strong, healthy relationships are important throughout your life. Your social ties with family members, friends, neighbors, coworkers, and others impact your mental, emotional, and even physical well-being.“We can’t underestimate the power of a relationship in helping to promote well-being,” says NIH psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Valerie Maholmes. Studies have found that having a variety of social relationships may help reduce stress and heart-related risks. Strong social ties are even linked to a longer life. On the other hand, loneliness and social isolation are linked to poorer health, depression, and increased risk of early death.
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