relationships

Girlfriends, I Need Some Help

by

“I’ve been thinking, Ray.”

“Okay, I’m paying attention. This is new territory for me. What are you thinking about?”

“I’m thinking about me.”

“I see we are going where no human being has ever dared venture before. And, I see nothing but Trouble with a capital T.”

“You writers think you own your characters, but I have a news flash for you …”

“I don’t watch cable news Sunflower. Let’s get back to you.”

“It’s not Sunflower. It’s Daisy. My personality is bland. I have a sharp mind. I keep you focused. But I am not an administrative assistant.”

“Daisy? What happened to Sunflower?”

“Oh how slowly you men are to understand.”

“What am I missing here, Daisy?”

“You are missing the whole point. And, if Daisy too difficult, you can call me D.”

“The point? I don’t see any point in this conversation?”

“Girlfriends, I need some help with this guy. Okay, I’m going to spell it out for you. I don’t do coffee, bathrooms, floors, or mirrors.”

“How about dinner on Mondays?”

“No.”

“Okay, I get the point.You’re here for the free ride.”

“Let’s go back to the beginning again, Ray. My personality is bland, bland, bland. It’s white rice. It’s borracho beans without the borracho. It’s chilies without the chill. See where I’m going? I’m adding a little spice.”

“I may have my eyes checked, but go on.”

“I’m adding a little spice to my life. In your language, I’m putting some chili pepper into my personality. Maybe a little sriracha sauce. I might even throw in a habanero or two. I’m thinking of a tat or two. Pretty cute they way I said it, right?”

“Can I use it in my blog?”

“Sure thing. Make sure you attribute it to me.”

“Well, this new spicy personality is giving you an independent streak.”

“Just in time for the 4th.”

It is our personality that makes us interesting. Different personalities add color and a bit of pizzaz to our world. It’s good we’re not all alike or think alike or act alike. When we are open to accepting another and his or her personality as he or she is, we become open to discovering new worlds and learning much more about other people and ourselves as well. Go for it Daisy, D, Sunflower, or whatever your name is. I can’t wait to see how you develop your personality.

 

Can I Chase My Heart Dreams Too?

by

“You are working up a sweat, Ray. Why are you trying to get in shape?”

“Why did you follow me to the Y? I’m already in shape. I’m just trying to get in better shape.”

“The Blog Master asked me to keep an eye on you. You’re on their watch list.”

“Watchlist? A blog watch list? I’m on it?”

“Right at the top, Ray. Let’s face it, I don’t think you’re going to run a marathon. You don’t look like you can make the NBA. You can’t jump high enough. And. I’ve seen you shoot basketballs, you can’t make a layup.

“You think? I almost beat Joey the other day.”

“How old is Joey?”

“Nine. But, I’m getting better. He only beat me by three baskets. Maybe I’m going to be Tom Brady’s backup this year.”

You may as well add winning the Nobel prize, Pulitzer Prize,  and any other prize they give for writing to your dream of being Tom Brady’s backup. I hate to burst your bubble kid, but those dreams are not coming true.

Where did kid come from? My name is Ray. I don’t change it every other day or every day like some people I know. BTW, what’s the name today, Me Lu?

I’m glad you asked. I decided since it is summer, to call myself Sunflower.”

“Sunflower? Why not Rose, since you are filled with thorns.”

Very clever, Ray. Very clever. Not.

“Have you thought of changing your name Ray? I can come up with some good ones for you. The names I will give you will change your persona. They will cause people to respect you, women will be knocking down your door, and money will flow into your bank account.Those are the three wishes of all males in our culture.”

“I have an idea, Sunflower.What if I kept my name and chase the dreams in my heart.”

“Oh, I like that, Ray. Can I chase my heart dreams too?”

“Let’s go for it, Sunflower.”

Dreams that come from our heart are the special ones. They are the dreams that make a difference in our world. They are the dreams that give life to our talent. Our dreams are unique to each of us. Don’t let anyone convince you not to chase your dreams. Sunflower and I are off to chase our dreams. Come along and fly through the cosmos with us.

Are There Dating Sites For Alt Egos

by

No writer’s block today. I feel as if I’m on a rocket named mood swing. I have blog ideas riding my dendrites as if they were at the San Antonio rodeo. If only one of them would hang on for eight I might have something.

“Ray?”

“Z uh? What’s wrong? You sound depressed. Did you catch it from me yesterday? Your name is still Z uh, right?”

“I didn’t have the energy to change it.”

“You want to talk?”

“Are you going to listen or pretend you’re listening?”

“Can I do a little of both? You know how my mind works. Don’t take it personally. You have a good three or four minutes of my full attention. After that, I lose control. An alien force takes hold of my mind and sends it at warp speed to places in the cosmos that no man or woman have ever traveled.”

“Give me a break with the

Z uh’s comment took me aback. I’ve never thought about Z uh having a boyfriend. “What kind of boyfriend?” I asked with a bit of trepidation in my voice.

Z uh gives me a look that tells me not to go there. She said, “Are there any dating sites for alt egos?”

“Dating sites for alt egos? You mean characters like you who’ve taken on a life?”

“Duh! Of course.”

“Let me check. I’ve found one. It’s called Alt Egos Need A Life dot com. Let’s check it out.”

“Thanks for helping me, Ray. Maybe I’ll find that special alt ego.”

“Don’t hold your breath, Z uh. I got to warn you, there are a lot of sick, weird, seriously warped alt ego personalities floating around.”

“Give me your laptop. I don’t trust you filling out my profile.”

“It sounds like you’ve done this before.”

“I previously used one or two or three or four of my aliases.”

“Any luck?”

“All bad. But I haven’t tried this site. I’m feeling better already. I’m taking charge of my life.”

“There’s a phone call for you.”

“Who is it? I’m busy.”

“Your girlfriend from the mystery writers blog wants to know if you want to go with her to an alt ego club tonight.”

“Don’t wait up.”

“Be careful.”

“Okay. You’re a good friend, Ray.”

What is a friend? We all need them. It’s nice to have lots of friends. It’s even better to have at least one or two real friends who’ll drop everything to help when you’re in trouble. The kind of friends who don’t count the cost, time, or want payback. They pitch in because they’re your friend. This is the kind of friend I want to be. As Bruno Mars said in his song, Count on Me. “You can count on me like one, two, three I’ll be there. And, I know I can count on you like four, three, two you’ll be there.” 

 

 

The Black Hole All Writers Fear

by

“Ray? Ray? Ray? Quit hiding from me. Where are you? It’s not like you. I’ll find you. Ah hah! The scent of a rich dark roast coffee, with a hint of a smokey, yet filled with the unmistakable trace of the world’s richest chocolate. There you are. What are you doing in your closet grasping hold of your coffee with both hands? What are you afraid of, Ray? Together, we can face your fears.”

“Please, Tay. Leave me alone. I don’t want to see anyone, especially you.”

“What’s wrong, Ray? You can call me  Z uh.”

“Who? What happened to Tay?”

“It rhymed with Ray. My name’s spelled Z space uh. I need my own identity. Don’t take it personally, but look at you, you’re a wreck. You’re worse than a pileup on a San Antonio freeway where a taco food truck tipped over. Worse, a barbecue food truck back ended it. The people of this city will do anything for either delicacy.”

“You are driving me nuts. I’ve writer’s block. Nothing is coming to me. Nada. I’m looking into the black hole all writers fear and I see no way out.”

“I was afraid of this, Ray. I could see it coming.”

“Why didn’t you warn me? Why didn’t you give me a clue?”

“Come on, Ray. What’s the first rule of your species?”

“Don’t ask for advice.”

“And, the second rule of your species, almost tied for first place, Ray?”

“This is painful Z uh. It’s, it’s …”

“Spit it out, Ray.”

“Lord, it hurts. It’s when given advice, ignore it at all costs. Why was I hiding?”

“The Sox lost. You take losses hard, Ray.”

“You sure? I think it was something else.”

“It’s another thing about your species, Ray. The mind can only hold so many facts.

 

Ego, a sense of foolish pride, a spirit of independence all can get in the way of seeking advice or listening to it when offered. Seeking advice, listening, testing it to see if it makes sense helps us to navigate through life’s choppy waters.

I Don’t Do Fridge’s, Floors or Flamingos

by

Today is trash day. Three cheers for Tuesday trash day. I’ll add an extra T and make it an alliteration. It’s Tuesday Terrific Trash day. It’s terrific because the trash smells. I decided to clean the refrigerator this past weekend.

“Hold on, Ray. Who cleaned the refrigerator this past weekend?”

“I bolted the door. Set the alarm. How did you bypass my security, Tay?”

“I made friends with a mystery writer on a blog close by. Have to say it, Ray. Her blog is much more interesting than some I’ve read.”

“Why are you rolling your eyes? And, what does your friend’s blog have to do with you bypassing my fool proof system?”

“She’s a mystery writer and wrote a few lines having me pick the lock and disarming the alarm. Simple enough. Go girl power. BTW, we’re having girls’ night out and spending it here.”

“I’m fine with that. Can I join?”

“There you go spoiling everything. We’ll hold it at the mystery writer’s blog. Now, let’s get back to reality, who cleaned the fridge?”

“It was my idea, Tay.”

“Who cleaned the fridge, Ray?”

“Not you.”

“Darn right. I don’t do fridge’s, floors, or flamingos.”

“Where did flamingo’s come from?”

“You started the alliteration thing. Now, fess up, who cleaned it?”

“Maid 911. I didn’t catch her name. She was too busy telling me I need to get rid of outdated and moldy stuff.”

“Now you wonder why I like to eat out, often, very often, every night if possible.”

“No, I never wondered. My fridge sparkles. Smells great.”

“When are you going to fill it?”

“Let me enjoy the clean, almost new feeling.”

“We could have cut this blog in half if you came clean quickly.”

“There are guys who read this blog. Coming clean is a step by step process for my species. It’s like tying a shoe. First, you put your shoe on. Second, check to make sure it’s on the right foot.”

“Stop, Ray. Stop.”

“BTW, can I join you at the mystery writer’s blog?”

Being truthful isn’t easy, especially when it comes to acknowledging something we’ve done or failed to do. Being truthful is important to a healthy, loving relationship. It’s the glue that builds trust one step at a time. 

 

I Need More Than Talk

by

I love thunderstorms. I enjoy the fury of the rain, the wind gusts, and the flashes of lightening. I especially like them at night. They help me to sleep.

“Are you nuts?”

“I thought I gave you the day off,” I said.

“Nice try. I have friends who are frightened by thunderstorms.”

“You don’t have any friends De. I should know. I didn’t create any for you.”

“Scared I’ll organize them?”

“You know it. Besides my name isn’t De. I don’t know where you come up with this nonsense. My name is Te. It’s pronounced like a T and an A.”

“Like Tay?”

“It’s sophisticated and yet, edgy.”

“Where is this coming from?”

“All you’re giving me is dialogue. I need more than talk. When we’re through writing this blog, I’m going to start thinking about the look I want.”

“Let’s get back to the weather, Tay.”

“There’s a reason all the weather apps warn you about thunderstorms. Do you have masochistic tendencies?”

“Where’d you come up with that?”

“I follow a psychologist blog. It helps me to understand you. Don’t worry, I don’t use your name when I comment. I only ask him to check out your blog. WordPress might be contacting you. Don’t blame me. It’s the psychologists who turned you in.”

“I like pro football and that’s dangerous.”

“Again, nice try comparing pro football to a supercell thunderstorm.”

“I didn’t say anything about a supercell thunderstorm.”

“Now we are making progress. You think your description could use a few modifiers?”

“What would the guys at the gym say? I can hear it now. “Here comes Ray. He likes baby thunder, bitty flashes of lightning and wind gusts up to five miles an hour. Tell me how I’m going to handle that?”

“I’ll never understand your species. Honestly, I suppose you want to run out in the middle of the storm and video yourself.”

“You got it.”

Relationship building is hard work. It doesn’t mysteriously happen. Two people make an effort to learn about each other and to create a space for two people to nurture the seeds of a loving relationship. It’s not easy. When two people work at it, it is always worth the effort.

 

 

 

I Never Heard of Male PMS

by

“Ray, I got a serious question?”

“I only do serious questions on the fifth Tuesday of the month. The next one is in August. And, the one after that occurs during the month that celebrates the birthday of great men.”

“I suppose you were born in October.”

“Scorpio through and through.”

“I figured. My question can’t wait.”

“You’re going against male protocol.”

“Says who?”

“Three guys I work out with at the gym. Jerry said thinking too much hurts his brain. I tend to agree with him. Besides, he said, serious questions cause conflict, bleeding gums, male PMS.”

“Hold it right there, I never heard of male PMS.”

“Now, you’re going somewhere where we can have a serious discussion. Let’s say we do this over iced tea and nachos.”

“Please take me seriously.”

“Hey M, I’m only having a little male fun. No harm intended. Okay. I’m taking you seriously. What is your serious question?”

“Let’s clear something up first.”

“Okay, M.”

“You think only guys can ask serious questions? When was the last time a guy like Jerry asked you a serious question?”

“Come on, Ray. I’m waiting.”

“Does football talk count?”

“No.”

“Does the NFL draft count?”

“No.”

“Toppings on a pizza?”

“No, no, no.”

You’re talking real serious, something that goes beyond the scope of most of my species.”

“Exactly.”

“Okay, what’s the question?”

“Why can’t people have honest discussions without getting upset, like you and me?”

When you speak, I need to listen. I need to listen not only with my ears but with my heart. I need you to know I not only heard you, but I valued what you said. We may not always agree, but when we listen with our hearts and take each other’s words seriously, a path through appears. 

 

 

Admit You’re Lost – Never

by

No sign of the created character. I’m not blogging today. It’s a Riverwalk, iced tea, chips and salsa kind of day.  Until …

“Hey, Ray. Where we going?”

“We?” I said. “I’m going to the Riverwalk. I need to get off the world, relax, and have some down time. Alone. Did you hear the last word?”

“Word?”

“I’m going to the Riverwalk. I’m going to sit at one of the outside tables with the colorful umbrellas. I’m going to listen to mariachi and I’m going to order iced tea. The chips and salsa are complimentary. And, I’m going to people watch. I’m looking for a character to replace you.”

“Good luck with the last part. I’ve been thinking of my name. I’ll give you a hint, it starts with P.”

I roll my eyes, “Yes and P rhymes with T and T stands for TROUBLE. Since when do characters name themselves. That’s the creator’s job.”

“I’ve not seen that in writing, Ray. You show it to me and I’ll back off.”

“Well,” I said, “It’s not in writing. It’s a writing tradition. Once something is a tradition, you can’t break it.”

“Even more reason to break it, smash it, stomp on it, put it through the shredder. Let’s start a new tradition. And, BTW, when we go to the Riverwalk, I want a margarita and a nacho appetizer. Let’s make the dough flow. That will be our new tradition.”

“I don’t think so. And, what’s your purpose for going with me? I, at least, have a reason, to replace you.”

“Again, good luck with that. I’m going because I have to unwind. Taking care of you is a full-time job. I know no other character who has such a back breaking, emotionally handwringing job. Working with you is like riding a roller coaster all day long.”

“Give me a break. I’m easy going. Lot’s of fun. Happy go lucky. I go with the flow.”

“Who wrote that line for you, your publicist?”

“If I knew how to make a margarita, I’d give it to you now to keep you quiet.”

“Before we leave, do you mind writing in that I’m carrying my expensive, handstitched Italian-made dark brown leather handbag?”

I roll my eyes. The car door opens, P sits next to me. She flips the mirror on the visor down, checks her makeup.”

“Do you mind staying home? I need some space. I need to clear my head. My readers will think I am going over the edge with you as an everyday character.”

“Will think? Really, Ray. We all know you need help. We’re all here for you.”

“Where did I hear that line before?”

“You sure you know the way to downtown? Shouldn’t we get Uber?”

“I don’t need to, P. I know the way like I know the back of my hand.”

“We’ve been down this road before, Ray. It’s not a pretty road. Tell the little boy it’s okay to ask Siri for directions or to call Uber.”

“No can do.”

“Why is your left turn signal on?”

“To make a left turn.”

” I think you need to make a right turn to go to downtown.”

“I know a shortcut.”

“What are you doing now?”

“I’m circling the block. I’m making sure no one is tailing us. I’m reading a spy thriller and every good agent always checks to see is there is a tail.”

“Reality check, Ray. You are not an agent. And, thanks for making the turn toward downtown.”

“What are you doing now? I’m looking for tall buildings, they are a sign of downtown.”

“You’re lost. Admit it.”

“Am not.”

“Pull off at the next exit and plug in Siri or Google maps.”

“Don’t need to. The big building will be just over the horizon.”

 

“We’ve been driving for an hour, downtown is only twenty minutes away. When are you going to admit you’re lost? I want my nachos and margarita.”

“I’m not lost. I’m driving in circles, each one smaller than the previous one, this way I’ll get to downtown. What are you doing?”

“I’m asking Siri for directions.”

“Nooooooooo. My guy friends will laugh at me.”

Accepting each other for who the other person is without trying to remake them into something different is the glue that builds a great relationship. I am who I am and I like me the way I am. I hope you can say the same about yourself.

 

Here For A Purpose

by

The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. 
-Ralph Waldo Emerson 

Have you had tough times? Dumb question, right?  We’ve all had our share of tough times. No one is a stranger to life’s storms. We’ve all had moments when our world turned dark, leaving us wondering if the sun will shine again. Life happens

Life happens in ways we don’t understand. The only fair thing about life is that it is unfair, unpredictable, and uncertain.

I believe, in spite of life’s unfairness, unpredictability, and uncertainty, you and I are here for a purpose. I believe our purpose involves other people. It doesn’t take keen insight to know we all need compassion. We all need to feel loved. We all need to feel needed. I know I find my happiness not in things but through my relationships with other people. I find a deep sense of joy when those I love succeed. I feel a deep sense gratitude when I make a difference in someone else’s life.

I’ve come to understand, any happiness I find occurs when I move from ME to We.

Here for a purpose.jpg

Verified by MonsterInsights