Joe: “I got a telemarketing call and the guy was trying to sell me a coffin.”
Pete: “What did you do?”
Joe: “I told him, ‘That’s the last thing I need.'”
humorous
Today’s Joke: Joe and His GF Have Different Ideas
Joe: “My girlfriend told me if I worked out at the gym my mood would improve.”
Pete: “What did you say?”
Joe: “I said, “Can I order a pizza first?”
Poem for Today ~ Messy Room
Messy Room
Shel Silverstein
Whosever room this is should be ashamed!
His underwear is hanging on the lamp.
His raincoat is there in the overstuffed chair,
And the chair is becoming quite mucky and damp.
His workbook is wedged in the window,
His sweater’s been thrown on the floor.
His scarf and one ski are beneath the TV,
And his pants have been carelessly hung on the door.
His books are all jammed in the closet,
His vest has been left in the hall.
A lizard named Ed is asleep in his bed,
And his smelly old sock has been stuck to the wall.
Whosever room this is should be ashamed!
Donald or Robert or Willie or–
Huh? You say it’s mine? Oh, dear,
I knew it looked familiar!
Today’s Joke
Joe: “I was going to quit all my bad habits for my New Year’s resolution, but I changed my mind.”
Pete: “Why did you change your mind?”
Joe: “Nobody likes a quitter.”
Today’s Smile
Joe: “My girlfriend accused me of being paranoid.”
Pete: “Did she say why?”
Joe: “She actually didn’t say it, but I know what she was thinking.”
Today’s Smile
Joe “I went to my psychiatrist because I was addicted to the hokey – pokey.”
Pete “What did your psychiatrist say?”
Joe “My psychiatrist said, to “Put my head in, put my head out, put head in and shake it all about.” She added, “Do the hokey pokey and turn yourself all around. That’s what it’s all about.”
Today’s Smile
Joe: “My girlfriend told the last thing she wanted to do was hurt me.”
Pete: “That’s great.”
Joe: “Then she said it was still on her list.”
Today’s Smile
Joe: “I’m depressed. I used to have a handle on life.”
Pete: “What happened.”
Joe: “My handle broke.”
Today’s Smile
Joe: “Did you hear about all the break-ins at the downtown parking garage?”
Pete: “No, what happened?”
Joe: “It’s wrong on so many levels.”
Today’s Smile
Joe: “I went to a sporting goods store to buy some camo pants.”
Pete: “”How did it go?”
Joe: “I couldn’t find any.”
