William James reminds us that every meeting—every moment of connection—holds three versions of ourselves. But only one is the truth we often fear to explore.
“Whenever two people meet, there are really six people present. There is each man as he sees himself, each man as the other person sees him, and each man as he really is.” ― William James
Who are you?
William James, the Father of American Psychology gave us three possibilities:
1) How do I see myself?
2) How does the other see me?
3) Who am I really?
It takes heaps of courage to explore our inner workings and attempt to discover who we really are. If we have the courage to take that journey, we shouldn’t expect to get to the finish line. What we will discover is that we are like an onion and there is always another layer to peel. This is where perfectionist get it wrong, they see themselves as perfect or potentially becoming perfect. If one doesn’t really know who one really is how can one become perfect? It’s better to love one’s self as one is recognizing that we are imperfect and it’s quite OK to be that way.
As you read this post, ask yourself, which of the three selves do you find hardest to understand—how you see yourself, how others see you, or who you truly are?
