Joe: “Pete, here’s some relationship advice for you. A woman who wants to make love you everyday. A woman who already has lots of money.”
Pete: “Thanks, Joe. Anything else?”
Joe: “Make sure they never meet.”
smiles
Today’s Smile
Joe: “My boss told me there are no problems only opportunities.”
Pete: “How did you respond?”
Joe: “I said, ‘That’s great. I now have a drinking opportunity.”
Today’s Smile
Joe: “I told a joke on my Zoom meeting today.”
Pete: “How did it go over?”
Joe: “It wasn’t even remotely funny.”
Today’s Smile
Joe: “My girlfriend just completed a 36 week body building program.”
Pete: “That’s great, what do the results look like?”
Joe: “A 7 pound 6 ounce baby boy.”
Today’s Smile
Joe: “I returning my radio for a refund. “
Pete: “What’s wrong with it?”
Joe: “It only plays in the morning. It’s an AM radio.”
Today’s Smile
Joe: “Every morning when I step out to get my paper the same bicycle runs into me.”
Pete: “Why does that happen?”
Joe: “I don’t know. It’s a vicious cycle.”
Today’s Smile
Joe: “My girlfriend claims I’m a narcissist.”
Pete: “What did you say?”
Joe: “I said, ‘You must be wrong because you love me and i love me.”
Today’s Smile
Joe: “I took my girlfriend to an art museum and she asked me what I saw when we were standing before a picture.”
Pete: “What did you say?”
Joe: “When I said, “I see a sad, bitter woman who feels like she is wasting her life, she said, “I meant the picture.”
Today’s Smile
Joe: “I told my girlfriend I have a fear of going to buffets.”
Pete: “What did your girlfriend say?”
Joe: “She said I have to learn to how to help myself.”
Today’s Smile
Joe: “I told my girlfriend that sometimes when I’m with her she treats me like I’m invisible.”
Pete: “What did she say?”
Joe: “She looked around and said, “Who said that?”
