Today’s Smile 😃 Comedy

Joe: “I interviewed for a job as an air traffic controller and I was asked if I could perform under pressure.”

Pete: “What did you say?”

Joe: “I said, “No, but I can perform Mozart’s clarinet concerto.”

Joe: “I told my boss I was quitting if he didn’t give me a raise. He said, ‘You know where the door is.;”

Pete: “What did you say?”

Joe: “I said, ‘Well, actually, I don’t.'”

Joe: “I said to my supervisor, ‘Can I have a week off the first week of August? He said, ‘It’s May.'”

Pete: “What did your supervisor say?”

Joe: ” I said, ‘Sorry, May I have a week off the first week of August?'”

Joe: “My mom always told me, ‘hard work never killed anyone.'”

Pete: “Sounds like good advice.”

Joe: “But why take a chance?”

Joe: “I went to my psychologist and told her I was having a panic attack because I felt I was shrinking.”

Pete: “What did your psychologist say?”

Joe: “She said, “You have to learn to be a little patient.”

Joe: “Pete, do you know the difference between in-laws and outlaws?”

Pete: “No, what is it?”

Joe: “Outlaws are wanted.”

Joe: “I have all the money I’ll ever need.”

Pete: “That’s great, Joe.”

Joe: “If I die by three this afternoon.”

Joe: “I just reworked my resume for my job applications.”

Pete: “How does it look?”

Joe: “I put a lot of things on it I hope I’m never asked about.”

Joe: “Playing poker has really helped me get back on my feet.”

Pete: “Did you win big?”

Joe: “No, I lost my car.”

Joe: “I drank too much wine last night at the dance.”

Pete: “What happened?”

Joe: “When I walked across the floor to get another glass, I won the dance competition.”