Viktor Frankl

Embracing the Fear: How Paradoxical Intention Silences Worry

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What if I told you that the hardest you fight against your anxiety, the stronger it grows? Most of us treat worry like a fire we need to douse, but in doing so, we often provide the very oxygen it needs to burn.

We have the inherent power to transcend our circumstances. One of the most potent, albeit counterintuitive, tools in our kit is paradoxical intention. Developed by Viktor Frankl, this technique suggests that by “wishing” for the very thing that makes us anxious, we strip the fear of its power.

Worry thrives on avoidance. When we obsessively try to prevent a negative outcome, we validate that the outcome is a threat. Paradoxical intention flips the script. Instead of running, you invite the “monster” in for tea.

The Example: Imagine you are terrified of blushing during a presentation. Normally, you worry: “I hope I don’t turn red.” Using paradoxical intention, you tell yourself: “I am going to turn so red that I look like a ripe tomato. I’m going to set a world record for the reddest face in history!”

By intentionally seeking the symptom, you remove the “anticipatory anxiety” that causes it. The tension snaps, humor enters, and the worry dissolves.

3 Actions for Your Colleague

If you see a teammate spiraling into “what-ifs,” suggest these constructive steps:

  1. Exaggerate the Outcome: Encourage them to spend five minutes imagining the absolute most ridiculous, over-the-top version of their failure until it becomes funny.
  2. The “Worry Window”: Suggest they schedule a specific 15-minute block to do nothing but worry intensely, rather than letting it bleed into their productive hours.
  3. Focus on Agency: Ask, “If the worst happened, what is the very first thing you would do to fix it?” This shifts them from a victim mindset to a problem-solving one.

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

— Viktor Frankl

Hope Lives: The Power That Pulls Us Into the Light

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Today’s Good Word: Hope Lives

When everything feels lost, hope has a quiet way of stepping forward—and changing the story.

Have you ever been lost—really lost? I have. I was six years old when my parents took me to the beach. I wandered away, and when I turned around, nothing looked familiar. Blankets, towels, and umbrellas stretched as far as my small eyes could see, but none of them hid the parents I was desperately searching for.

I walked back and forth, heart pounding, until the fear finally broke through and I began to cry. A couple noticed, knelt beside me, and gently asked what was wrong. When I told them I was lost, they took me straight to the police station. And just like that, my fear lifted. I knew the police would find my parents. I knew we’d be reunited.

My disaster turned around because hope lives. Even at six years old, I had hope.

Hope is the life-breathing, life-sustaining fuel that pulls us out of darkness and back into the sunlight. Viktor Frankl called it meaning—the “why” that gives us strength in any “how.” When we discover our why, when we understand why tomorrow is worth waking up for, hope rises inside us like dawn.

Let hope live in you. Let it live through everything you do.

Living with Purpose: How Socrates, Viktor Frankl, and Tolkien Guide Us Toward Meaning

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In this episode of Optimistic Beacon, Ray explores how Socrates, Viktor Frankl, and J. R. R. Tolkien illuminate the path to purpose and meaning in modern life. Learn why purpose isn’t a goal to achieve but a way of living — one built on virtue, truth, and quiet courage. Rediscover your why and let it guide the how of your days.

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Choose Power Over Powerlessness: The Freedom of Self-Determination

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There are multiple places in our lives where we make choices. On a simple level we choose what we want to eat and when we want to eat. We choose which shows to watch on TV and which shows not to view. We can choose which way to go to work or how we get to work. All simple choices. On a much deeper level we can choose to be powerless or powerful. Being powerless means that we are sacrificing our right to self determination to the whims and likes of others. Powerful doesn’t mean strong physically it means being willing to take responsibility for one’s life no matter what the situation. It means to exert a maximum amount of effort in one’s involvement in one’s environment. It means choosing not to be a victim.. There is something we can do in every circumstance even if it’s small. Viktor Frankl spoke of the one thing no one can take away from us and that is our attitude toward any given situation in which we find ourselves. Knowing that we can do something changes everything . Don’t be a victim. Don’t be powerless. Choose to act and be proactive and influence the direction of your self determination. There is always something we can do.

Reader Question:

When life feels out of control, what’s one small action you’ve taken that reminded you of your own power?

Viktor Frankl’s Timeless Lesson: The One Freedom No One Can Take From You

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Even in the darkest times, Viktor Frankl reminds us: we still hold the power to choose our response.

“Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation.” ~ Viktor E. Frankl

Viktor Frankl understood how everything can be stripped away from us. Frankl and his family were victims in the holocaust. He lost his family, but he survived to write about his experience in Auschwitz. One of the lessons he learned and teaches us is that regardless of our circumstances we always have the freedom to choose how we will respond to them. It is the one freedom no one can take from us. It is the one choice that is always ours. So today, whatever your circumstances choose to live. Choose to love. Choose to reject the impulse to be angry and revengeful.

Purpose as a Compass: Lessons from Virgil for a Noisy World

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Virgil’s Aeneid and Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning remind us: purpose is the compass that steadies us through life’s storms. Discover how finding your “why” can make any “how” bearable.

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The Power of Grief: Transforming Pain into Purpose

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Listen to my Podcast, Journey from Grief to Healing, Episode 129 on your favorite podcasting app or click here for Episode 129

Episode 129: Transforming Grief Through Life’s Tragic Moments

In this powerful episode of Journey from Grief to Healing, we explore the devastating impact of unexpected tragedy. A family on their way to celebrate a new chapter in their daughter’s life is suddenly taken by a fatal accident. This heartbreaking story opens a discussion on the inexplicable nature of tragedies and the deep pain they bring.

We delve into how grief, though painful, is a transformative process. Drawing parallels to my own experience with loss and the intense training of a young soldier, I reflect on how grief changes us, giving us a new perspective on life and death. Viktor Frankl’s profound insights on finding meaning in suffering and John Donne’s timeless poem “Death Be Not Proud” provide further depth to our understanding of life after loss.

Tune in to learn how grieving, though challenging, can ultimately lead to personal growth and a renewed sense of purpose. Join me as we discuss the lessons grief has taught and how it has changed our view of life and death.

email me at ray.brese@gmail.com. 

Keywords: Grief, Tragedy, Healing, Viktor Frankl, Personal Growth, John Donne, Life Transformation

Tags: #GriefJourney, #HealingAfterLoss, #TragicAccidents, #ViktorFrankl, #LifeAfterLoss, #PersonalGrowth, #JohnDonne

Thinking Out Loud ~ What Will I Become?

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I conclude my reflections on Victor Frankl’s work Man’s Search for Meaning, with Frankl’s affirmation of the human freedom to determine what he/she becomes as Frankl says, “within the limits of his/her endowment and environment.” A human being is not one thing among others; things determine each other, but man is ultimately self-determining. . . . In concentration camps, for example, in this living laboratory, and on this testing ground, we watched and witnessed some of our comrades behave like swine, while others behaved like saints. Man has both potentialities within himself; which one is actualized depends on decisions, but not on conditions. P. 155

NOTE: Hopefully we will never experience the living hell of a concentration camp as Frankl and millions of others have. We, however, are confronted each moment with choices on how to live our lives. Will we be faithful to our commitment to a partner? Will we honor and love our parents as they age? Will we support fairness and justice for all people? What kind of neighbor am I; do help my neighbors when they need help? These are a few examples of the choices that we have to make. How we make our choices determines the kind of man or woman we want to become. 

Thinking Out Loud ~ The Wind Beneath Your Wings

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Victor Frankl says in Man’s Search for Meaning, speaks of love being the only way in which we can fully grasp and understand another human being . He says, “Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of his personality. No one can become fully aware of the very essence of another human being. Unless he loves him by his love, he is enabled to see the essential traits and features in the beloved person; and even more he sees that which is potential in him, which is not yet actualized, but yet ought to be actualized, furthermore by his life, a living person enables the beloved person to actualize these potentialities. By making him aware of what he can be, and of what he should become, he makes these potentialities come true. P. 116

NOTE: Have you had a person in your life who believed in you and what you might become even when no one else saw your possibilities? I was fortunate to have a person like that in my life. My wife was, as the song lyrics say, “the wind beneath my wings.” When we offer this gift to another, we open up a world they may never thought possible. Will you be the wind beneath someone’s wings today?

Thinking Out Loud ~ Three Ways to Experiencing Meaning In Life

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Victor Frankl says in Man’s Search for Meaning, speaks of three ways in which we can find meaning. He says, “(1) by creating a work or by doing a deed; (2) by experiencing something or encountering someone; and (3) by the attitude we take toward unavoidable suffering. P. 115

NOTE: Frankl’s words resonate with me. I discovered meaning (at various times in my life) in each of the three ways he describes. I found meaning in the publication of my research and books while I was a university professor. I found meaning in the love I shared with my wife and for my children. And, I found meaning in the unavoidable suffering I experienced with the death of my wife. I was determined to show my daughters I was strong enough cope with the suffering I was experiencing. I wanted to be an example for them. How have you experienced the types of meaning Frankl describes?

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