writing

Is She Dead?

by

Chapter 6

Nonna placed three saucers and cups on the table. She walked to the kitchen counter and lifted an old coffee percolator and carried it to the table.

“You boys need cream, or you men?” she said.

Zeke said, “No cream for me, Nonna.”

“That’s a my boy. What about you, Palitroni?” asked Nonna.

“If I have sugar, will I still be a man?” asked Mickey.

Nonna stared at him, “I never know a Palitroni who’s a real man. You just like the rest of your scum family. No sugar. Grow up,” said Nonna.

“Mickey’s okay, Nonna. His mother, Gina, was a Strollo. She left Tubby Palitroni when Mickey was four. Then she got an annulment because Tubby was involved with Mary Luizzi,” said Zeke.

Nonna whacked the side of her head and then blessed herself four times, “The Luizzi’s they worse than the Palitroni’s. I tell you Tubby’s a no good son of a you know who,” said Nonna.

Mickey said, “Who?”

Nonna looked at Zeke, “He’s a not too bright of a bulb, am I right?”

Zeke shrugged his shoulders. He knew Nonna was right, but didn’t want to hurt Mickey’s feelings. Zeke took a sip of his coffee, set it down, picked up a biscotti and dunked it into the coffee before taking a bite. When he finished chewing his biscotti, he said, “I love your biscotti. I can’t find good biscotti in stores, where do you get them?”

“My friend, Angelo Marcella, he got a friend who has a friend, who knows somebody. That’s how I get them. Now no more small talk. I got things to do. I can’t waste my time talking to two losers, now what you got for me to help you with?” asked Nonna while she took the plate of biscotti’s away.

Zeke said, “We got a problem. You know Tony Gallino?”

Nonna said nothing. She closed her eyes. For a moment, Mickey thought she died. He nudged Zeke and mouthed, “Is she dead?”

Before Zeke could say a thing, Nonna said, “I’m a not dead you jackass. You still got a lot a Palitroni in you. Now keepa you mouth shut while Zeke tells me about Tony Gallino.”

“It was this way, Nonna. Mickey and me were in Gus’s bar having a few beers because we had a tough day.”

“That’s a bullsheet. How can you have a tough day at ten in the morning? No more lies big or little.”

“How’s she knows this stuff?” whispered Mickey.

“What I tell you Palitroni, keep a you mouth shut. I gotta the inner eye. I know things nobody knows, even me,” said Nonna.

“Well were in Gus’s bar talking about this and that when Tony Gallino walks in. He says he’s looking for Mickey and me and he wants us to do him a favor. He says he has box at one of those postal stations in Brockton. He wants us to pick it up a package. I’m supposed to hold on to it until he tells me to bring it to him. He said not to open it or shake it. I’m supposed to hide it so nobody knows nothing about it. He already gave us a hundred and he’s going to give us another hundred when we bring the box to him. We figure if we do a good job, he’ll hire us, then we’re on easy street. Gus thinks we’re crazy for getting involved with Tony. We’re also on a first name basis. What should we do, Nonna. Do we give Tony his money back? Do we pick up the package?”

Nonna had her hands folded across her belly. The index and thumb fingers of her right hand were twisting a gold wedding band put on her finger by Rocco.

What will Nonna tell the boys? Will Tony Gallino like what Nonna tells the boys?

Friends to the End

by

Chapter 1

Zeke Pratti sat on a swivel stool at Lombardi’s Bar and Pizzeria staring into his mug of beer. He was separated by a stool from Mickey, the nose, Palitroni who was lifting his mug of beer over his head and coaxing the last drops from the mug to drop into his mouth. Gus Polati, the bartender, was at the end of the bar. He was washing beer mugs. Lombardi’s opened at ten in the morning. Zeke and Mickey were on their stools by five after ten. They consumed their first beer by ten fifteen. It was now eleven. Mickey was finishing his third beer. Zeke was contemplating life as he gazed into his third beer.

“I’m one up on you, Zeke. Want to try for six by lunch?” asked Mickey.

“Not today, Mickey. I’m going through an existential funk,” said Zeke.

“Huh? I heard of funk. I never heard of the other word. Did you watch PBS last night? What I tell you about that channel. It’s run by commies, pinkos, and vegetables.”

“You mean vegetarians?” ask Zeke.

“You talking about the people who do the birth control thing on dogs and cats, which I do not approve. Why don’t they teach dogs and cats to use condoms? Nobody wants to answer that question. These are same people who give dogs and cats rabbit shots. Am I right?” asked Mickey.

Gus looked down the bar toward Mickey and wondered if he should cut him off before he became a danger to society.

“I used to date one of them,” said Zeke.

“A vegetable, or a vegetarian?” asked Mickey.

“The one who works on dogs and cats,” said Zeke.

“What happened?” asked Mickey signaling Gus for another beer.

Zeke quit gazing into his beer, lifted the mug to his lips, took a look swig, put the mug down on the bar, and wiped his mouth on his hairy forearm. He said, “The local beers have been the best invention since they invented toilet paper.”

“I’ll give you that one,” said Mickey. Then he said, “What about the vegetarian?”

“It was going great. I mean we got along like cheese and pizza, like meatballs and spaghetti, you know what I mean?” asked Zeke.

“Yah,” said Mickey as he stuck his left hand out to the middle of the bar to catch the sliding mug of beer from Gus.

“Man, she had it all in all the right places. Everything was good until she decides to ask me the one question that scares the daylights out of me,” said Zeke.

Gus is interested. He moved down the bar so he could pick up the conversation.

Mickey took a sip of his fourth beer and said, “She wanted to get married? That’s what all the dame’s want.”

“No. I coulda handled the proposal. Just because you agree you want to get married, doesn’t mean you have to get married, see what I’m saying?” asked Zeke.

“Yah, I see it. But you got my interest picked,” said Mickey.

Gus wondered if Mickey meant piqued.

“She dropped the bomb on me. She says to me before I have my first beer of the day, which I usually have with breakfast, ‘When are you going to get a job and get of unemployment?’”

Mickey made the sign of the cross, “This is like the worst thing a broad can ask. She wanted to take you off the gravy train after all you did for her?” asked Mickey.

“To be honest, I didn’t do nothing for her except let her enjoy my entire personality if you know what I mean. I’m in my prime. I can go forever.”

“Maybe it was her time of the month, you know how that goes. I remember when I was with Isabel, I thought I was under a terrorist attack,” said Mickey before he took a long drink from his mug.

“That’s just it, she’s got common sense. She’s always even keel. I knew when she said it, the honeymoon was over. How long we been best friends, all our life, right, don’t answer, I know I’m right. But let me ask you, I had ten weeks left on unemployment. It’s a free vacation from the government. Do you agree you got to be stupid to go to work when you are getting paid for not going to work.” said Zeke.

“It does not take a genius to figure that one out. Did you explain this to her?  asked Mickey.

Gus was also interested, although he had an inclination as to what happened.

“I told her what I told you. She must have been expecting that because she had a plastic bag filled with my dirty clothes and tossed them at me and said, “Get out and don’t call me, ever.”

“That was both tough and unfair. In the pros the refs ususaly give you a warning. I think that should go in relationships,” said Mickey.

“That’s genius, Mickey. I was getting tired of her. I was starting to look around while she was working. But the only women I could find were all married or with somebody. I got ethics. I won’t do that, especially if the guy is bigger than me,” laughed Zeke.

Mickey high fived Zeke. Gus wondered why they’re walking around loose.

Zeke continued, “The tough part is I only got one week left on unemployment and no prospects. How about you.”

“I run out this week, and I got no prospects,” said Mickey.

At that moment, fortune and fate decided to turn its light on the best friends. The door to Lombardi’s Bar and Pizzeria opened and Tony Gallino walked in.

Come by tomorrow to discover how fortune and fate smiled on Zeke and Mickey.

We Are Each Other’s Teacher & Student

by

Good morning writers. It’s time to be inspired by Stephen King. When we keep our bucket empty, there is always room for more. This rule applies to all aspects of life. No one has all the answers. No one has the singular true perspective of life. We need each others. We are a community. When we are a community of learners, we become each other’s teacher and student. Today, Stephen King is our teacher. Get Inspired.

 

You Can’t Make This Stuff Up – Part 1

by

Life can be stranger than fiction. How often have you said, “You can’t make this stuff up?” It’s what happen to Dr. Stephen Burnett when he went to the airport to board a plane for Boston.

Dr. Burnett preferred to be called Steve. He didn’t like to be called doctor. Steve is a professor at a prestigious Big Ten university. He is also a globally renowned expert in cyber technology. Steve was traveling to an international conference on global security to present his breakthrough research on protection of power grids. We pick up Steve’s story at the airport where he began his journey.

Steve walked into the airport pulling a suitcase; a backpack hung on his shoulders. Once inside the airport, he paused, checked his iPhone airlines app. The flight was on time. He boarded at Gate 6. Steve had 40 minutes before his plane boarded. He loaded his boarding pass on his smart phone and made his way to the TSA security line. He envied the passengers who were TSA approved, but the normal TSA security line was short, there were only five people in front of him.

Steve got in line, pulled out his driver’s license. Held his driver’s license in his left hand, and his iPhone with the boarding pass in his right hand. He waited his turn. Steve’s mind was more on his presentation than on getting through security. There was no need to worry, after all, he spent as much time in the air as he spent in the classroom.

“Next,” said the TSA agent.

Steven walked up to the TSA agent. He handed him his license and put his iPhone boarding pass under the digital reading laser light.

The TSA agent looked at the license, looked back at Steve. He looked at the license and then back at Steve. “Excuse me, do you have a secondary piece of proof of identity?”

“That’s me. It’s my driver’s license,” said Steve.

“Sir, I didn’t ask if it was you. I asked if you had a secondary form of identification. A passport will work,” said the TSA agent.

“I only going to Boston. I wasn’t planning to leave the country. I didn’t take my passport.”

“Does your credit card have a photo ID?” asked the TSA agent.

“Can you tell what this is all about, my plane boards in 30 minutes,” asked Steve nervously.

“Your driver’s license shows a person who is clean shaven. You sir, have a thick grunge,” said the TSA agent.

“It’s me. Honest. Here’s my credit card. Here’s my voter’s ID. Here’s my gym membership card. I really need to make this flight,” pleaded Steve.

The TSA agent gathered up the documents. “I’ll need to show them to my supervisor. I can’t make this call.” The agent took the documents and left his station. Another TSA agent replaced the departed TSA agent. He motioned Steve to the side.

Did Steve make his flight? Come by tomorrow to find out.

Advice To Reach Impossible Goals

by

How do you and I accomplish a goal? What separates the people who seem to reach impossible goals from those who don’t? Elmore Leonard, the famous mystery fiction writer, gives us a clue. His simple message can be applied to any aspect of life as well as writing. His fantastic advice is offered in under 2 minutes on this YouTube video.

Falling In Love With Writing

by

A dozen years ago I read Ray Bradbury’s book, The Zen of Writing. His book turned the way I thought about writing on it’s head. I read it once, and I read it again. I read it every year to learn again from one who was in love with writing. In this short 2 minute YouTube video of Ray Bradbury, I hope you catch the fever of writing with love for life.

Catch The Writing Bug

by

I knew I wanted to write in second grade. I caught the writing bug and it stayed with me. I think everyone who blogs has the writing bug. If you’re like me, you have to write. It’s they way we express our creativity. The following short YouTube video features the late Elmore Leonard offering writers free advice on writing. Learn from a master.

It’s All Show Biz

by

Farlo cut in front of Honest Johns Emergency Plumbing truck, which caused honest John and his son who was on probation for possession with intent to sell to swerve in front of a drop off mom who was rushing from the elementary school where she dropped off her two kids. She was going to Gold’s Gym where she had a 9:30 a.m. appointment with her personal trainer and lover. The drop off mom, wanting to avoid hitting honest John, swerved into the passing lane where she sideswiped a senior citizen bus headed to the Bingo Hall for a Bingo Tournament. The senior bus back ended a farm to market truck carrying 750 cantaloupes that rolled out of the truck and crossed the highway causing a series of accidents, the likes of which had not been seen since the great fog, two weeks earlier.

Joey was looking out the back window, “You got to see this, Farlo. It’s mayhem. People are crashing into each other, cantaloupes are all over the road. Seven traffic helicopters are hovering over the scene. If I didn’t know better, I’d have thought you caused it, but it happened behind us. Go figure.”

“That’s what happens, kid, when people don’t care about each other. Me? I do my best to drive carefully and always look out for the other guy,” said Farlo as he took Exit 231, went down the ramp, at the end of the ramp, he accelerated through the stop sign, and hung a left against a sign that said NO LEFT TURN. An oncoming driver avoided broadsiding Farlo and veered into a fire hydrant. The resulting geyser left a third of the town without water.

Joey had his face pressed against the window, his one free fist banging against the unbreakable glass, he mumbled nearly incoherently, “You need to be locked up. If I ever get out of here alive, I’ll tell it all,” screamed Joey.

“Who you gonna tell it to, kid? Your mommy? You’re naïve. You haven’t lived. You have no sense of adventure. You want life served on a platter with all the trimmings, that’s what you want. To you a six pack beer and a delivery pizza tops your bucket list. Life doesn’t work that way. Some days you’re lucky if you get a bad cup of coffee. Other days, it’s a good one if a bird doesn’t crap on your head. You see where I’m going?” snarled Farlo.

“Honestly? I have no idea where you’re going. Give me a hint,” said Joey.

“Where have you been for the past 24 hours, we’re going to the Last Stop Assisted Care Facility to rescue Harry J. You’re not the brightest bulb on the planet. I’d guess you’re a few cookies short of a dozen. It’s what the dope did to your pathetic brain. I’m working with silly putty instead of a perfect piece of marble, see what I’m saying.”

“I’m tired of your insults, Farlo. I’m not silly putty, I know what’s going on,” said Joey.

Farlo turned down Blanco and into a residential neighborhood. A four way stop loomed fifty feet in front of him, three cars were in line waiting their turn. Farlo hit the accelerator, turned the wheels to right, went up over the curb, and drove across three lawns leaving a trail of tire marks in perfectly manicured grass.

When he exited the last lawn, he narrowly avoided two joggers, flipped them off as he turned right on Oak Street. He looked in the rearview mirror and saw one of the joggers taking out her iPhone and snapping photos of his black and white,

“Martinez is not going to like this. She might not be in a good mood when I get to O’Rourke’s. BTW, you know what’s going on?”

“I don’t know what’s going on. I was trying to make conversation,” said Joey.

“Last Chance is two blocks up, just past the cemetery. If we don’t save Harry J, it’s going to look bad on your report. I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes, kid. Filo doesn’t tolerate failure.”

“Me! Why me? You’re the nut job. I’m spilling my guts to Filo,” said Joey.

“Look in the mirror, kid. You think Filo’s going to believe you? He’d believe I won the 2 billion Powerball before he’d believe you.”

“It’s 2 billion? Can we stop and buy a ticket? I got a question before we go in, what’s your last name? Is it Maxwell like you told Martinez?” asked Joey.

“The name’s Farlo. That’s it. It’s like Adele, Madonna, Sinatra.”

“They all had two names, what’s your other name?” asked Joey.

“It’s their show biz name. Here’s a tip for you, kid. It’s all show biz. It’s all a struggle to grab the glitter and the glitz. That’s what we’re after, the glitter and the glitz.”

“I thought we’re after Harry J.”

Farlo ignored Joey, pulled up to the guardhouse in front of the gate, the black and white’s lights flashing, Farlo lowered his window, and barked at the guard who was checking his Facebook page, “Open the gate.”

“Let me see your badge,” said the guard still staring at his Facebook page.

“Tina,” commanded Farlo.

Tina jumped on Farlo’s lap, stuck her head out the window, growled, her lips curled back over her gums, Farlo holding onto her collar faux restraining her. “This is my badge.”

“Open it.”

“Yes, sir,” said the guard.

Farlo drove down the half-mile driveway and pulled the flashing black and white under the portico. He grabbed hold of a small canister of pepper spray, got out of the car, Tina followed him. Farlo walked around the black and white, opened the rear door, removed Joey’s handcuffs and helped him out of the car.

“Listen up. It’s up to you if we are going to pull this off. Follow my lead,” ordered Farlo.

“That’s all I’ve been doing is following your lead and look where it’s got me. I’ve been handcuffed, classified as a dangerous bed wetter, I’m dressed in Goodwill clothes. I look like I’m homeless. I lost my job. And, I’m running around with some guy with only one name.”

“Perfect cover. Let’s go.”

Will they rescue Harry J? Who’s Filo? Will Joey spill his guts to Filo?

Catch & Release

by

“La Flor, do you think it’s wise for you to mentor Carmela? One of you is about all the alt ego world can handle,” I said.

“Ray, if all the people in the world were like me, the world would be a better place. I’m doing my part to make that happen. Do you think I’ll win a Noble Prize (yes, she said Noble instead of Nobel – I’m only writing what I hear).

“I’m sure it is Nobel not Noble. You know the difference, right?”

“Of course I know the difference. Nobel means no bells. Noble is the thing I should win,” said an adamant La Flor.

“Looks like you got it figured out,” I said.

“Move over, Ray, my protege is here.”

“A minny me? I asked.

“No, she is not a minny you. You don’t have the right stuff that Carmela is looking for, Ray,” said La Flor.

“What is the right stuff? I thought I was pretty good,” I said.

“Three words, Ray. And, you don’t qualify.”‘

“I hear an inner voice repeating them to me,” I said.

“Let me help your inner voice. Beautiful, tough, edgy. They’re so far removed from you, you can’t see them with the Bubble telescope.”

“Do you mean Hubble?” I said.

“Don’t change the subject,” she said. Then added, “Girlfriend come over. I’ve straightened Ray out.”

“Hey, my posture’s good. I don’t need a chiropractor,” I said.

“Oh La Flor, you are the master. You weren’t even breathing hard when you put Ray in his place.”

“You are so smart but not as smart as me, Carmela. Now, I want you to flirt with TT, then let him down.”

I stepped in. TT never hurt anyone. Let’s not play with his emotions,” I said.

“Ray, beautiful, tough, and edgy rules, it’s called catch and release.”

“Just like the fishing places?” I said.

Exactly.

 

 

 

You Call This Mentoring?

by

La Flor and Carmela sit on the deck overlooking the large pool and tennis court at Big Carmen’s 6000 square foot home. Big Carmen can’t swim or play tennis, but the guy who donated the home to him did. A bottle of white wine is on the table between La Flor and Carmela. Their glasses partially filled.

“I’m the luckiest girl in the world to have you as my mentor La Flor. I want to be just like you.”

“We’ll have to work on your makeup, clothes, voice, walk, diet, and attitude. In short, Carmela, you need a total makeover and your mentor is going to point the way,” said La Flor.

Little Carmen lays in a lounge chair off to the side. He perks up when he hears La Flor’s voice. La Flor’s voice. He called over, “Who’s mental? Use guys needs some help?”

La Flor glanced at him, then bent closer to Carmela, “Lesson one, sometimes you have to overlook certain weakness because he’s just so handsome.” Then she sat back and looked at Little Carmen, “We’re okay, play with your iPad.”

“I’m hear (that’s what he said) if use needs me.”

Carmela gets out of her seat, goes around the table and hugs La Flor. Tears are streaming down her face, “You are so kind, so generous, so everything good, and can I add so wise with men.”

“I know. I know. Now let go of me. I don’t want your mascara ending up on my shirt. I spent an hour getting my makeup right. I hope you didn’t smudge it with the hug. Ask permission next time before you hug me. I usually take hugs by appointment. Not on weekends or Tuesdays, they are my rest days,” said La Flor.

“I’m sorry,” said Carmela.

“Since it’s your first day being mentored, I’ll let it slide,” said La Flor.

“Can I hug you again, you are the kindest person I know,” said Carmela.

“No, it’s Tuesday. But, you can tell all your friends on social media how good I am to you. Pay attention to what I do now,” said La Flor.

“Should I take notes?” said Carmela.

“Good idea because I give pop quizzes.”

Carmela takes out her iPhone, presses the Notes app and waits for La Flor.

“LC. LC.”

“Yes, beautiful, tough, and edgy mentor,” said Little Carmen.

“Nothing. I wanted to make sure you’re paying attention to cater to my every whim.”

“Like cheese on sauce, red on tomatoes, green on oregano, pepperoni on Camen’s Pizzeria Saturday night special for five ninety-one and free delivery.”

“Tomorrow we’ll kick it up a notch.”

“I can’t wait.”

 

Verified by MonsterInsights