Joe: “My life really changed since my girlfriend became pregnant.”
Pete: “Congratulations, Joe. How has your life changed.”
Joe: “My phone number, my address, and my Facebook account.”
Comedy
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Friend Gives Him Some Dirt About His GF
Joe: “My good friend Zach text me and told me he had some dirt on my girlfriend.”
Pete: “What did he say?”
Joe: “He said she’s cheating on both of us.”
Today’s Joke: Joe and His Dad
Joe: “I know my dad’s looking down on me.”
Pete: “When did he die?”
Joe: “He didn’t die, he’s just condescending.
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Girlfriend is a Heavy Drinker
Joe: “I asked my girlfriend why she drank so much wine.”
Pete: “What did she say.”
iJoe: “She said when she drinks she less embarrassed to be with me.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Gives a Cooking Tip
Joe: “I always cook with wine.”
Pete: “What kind do you use?”
Joe: “It doesn’t matter. Every once in a while I add it to the food.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Had Life Figured Out, Until . . .
Joe: “Pete, I once had a handle on life.”
Pete: “What happened, Joe.”
Joe: “It broke.”
Today’s Joke: Joe and His Landlord Have an Issue
Joe: “My landlord sent me an email saying he needs to talk to me about cutting back on my heat.”
Pete: “What did you say?”
Joe: “I emailed my landlord that my door is always open.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Tried To Exercise
Joe: “I tried walking up a hill without my iWatch.”
Pete: “How did it go?”
Joe: ‘I stopped after a couple of meters. I had neither the time or the inclination.
Today’s Joke: Joe Does His Grandfather a Solid
Joe: “My grandfather has bitten his nails since he was a kid. I helped him stop.”
Pete: “That’s terrific, Joe. How did you do it?”
Joe: “I hid his teeth.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Girlfriend Has Interesting Work
Joe: “It’s difficult to say what my girlfriend does for work.”
Pete: “What does she do?”
Joe: “She sells seashells by the seashore.”
