Drenched in Love

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Where is the door to God?

In the sound of a barking dog,

In the ring of a hammer,

In a drop of rain,

In the face of

Everyone

I see. ~ Hafiz

Those who grieve know grieving is not easy. It’s more like drowning and knowing you have to learn to breathe underwater if you are to survive.

It’s been nine months since Babe died. I am blessed. Each day God’s love drenches me, soaks me through and through. I receive it from the people I exercise with at the Y. I receive it from the checkout clerks at the market. I receive it from the barista at the coffee shops.I receive it from the people I worship with.I receive it from the people I follow on Twitter. I see it in the mockingbirds who sing to me each morning, and the cardinals who sing to me in the evening. It is everywhere, I can’t escape it, nor do I want to escape it. I am no longer sad. Gratitude fills my heart for the life Babe and I shared. It was all grace and gift at the same time. God’s love has taught me how to breathe underwater and I am happy.

I walk into today with arms wide open to receive and share the love heading my way.

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Life Grabs Hold Of Me

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“Those who are wise won’t be busy, and those who are too busy can’t be wise.” ~ Lin Yutang

Life has a way of grabbing hold of me, tossing me in the air, and daring me to land on my feet. I get out of bed, filled with great intentions and goals for the day, then boom, life literally knocks at the door. A neighbor stops by and asks to borrow lawn chairs. I didn’t have time to save my work on the computer, I silently pray there will be no power surge or my Mac decides to freeze. I help my neighbor carry the chairs to his garage. I get back on task, the cell rings.  I see by the caller ID I need to take the call. I hit command s, save my work. I take the call. A friend says, “Can we have coffee in an hour, I need some advice? I push my morning workout to the afternoon. Coffee with my friend takes an hour and a half. I get home in time to make a light lunch. I want my workout. I offer a silent prayer, “Please God, no more interruptions.” Sometimes, I think the angels must laugh and laugh at me. A daughter calls and wants to FaceTime. What’s a dad to do? I happily FaceTime. After our call, I check the time, I can squeeze in a workout. I hurry to Y. Do I hear the angels laughing again? I hit three school zones with the orange lights flashing. I get to the Y.  I hit it hard. On the way out, Jerry, an eighty-something-year-old man calls me over and starts talking. I’ve heard these stories before. I see he needs to talk. I listen as if they are the first time I’ve heard them. This is becoming my typical day.

In the early evening, I sit on the patio and gaze into the sacred space Babe and I created. It is time to pray. I quiet my mind. In a moment of grace, I realize I accomplished none of what I wanted to accomplish, but everything I had to accomplish. Sometimes, you have to let the wind fill your sails and take you where it wants to take you.

I helped a neighbor.

I had coffee with and listened to a friend.

I FaceTimed with my daughters.

I drove safely through the school zones.

I thank God for the grace of letting my business go and embracing His business.

RSVP for a Joy-Filled Place

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This past weekend, one of my daughters and her two girls visited me. Here I am a guy dancing alone, getting into a rhythm of living alone and having my life disrupted. What I eat, when I eat, what I do and when I do it, all disrupted. What a glorious disruption! I wouldn’t trade it.

I played with the girls. We went to the zoo. We went to the pastry counter at HEB’s Central Market. The girls took me out of my game. We all went walking on nature trails. We went out for Tex-Mex. Every moment was joy-filled. I thought often of Babe and how easily she moved out of her game and joined in with whoever was in her presence. I am grateful I followed her example. Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!

It’s a good thing to be taken out of my game. I’ve learned the world doesn’t revolve around my game. I’m on this wonderful planet for the ride. I want to make it a joyful and joy-filled ride. Joy is a shared event. Other people need to be involved. It’s a funny thing, we feed each other’s joy when we are invited into their space.

This week, I will extend an open invitation to all who want to enter my space and share my joy with me. I will also readily accept any RSVP to enter a joy-filled space with another. I think I’ll start passing out the smiles, eye sparkles, and hugs.

Three Cheers for Joy

Ray’s Recipe for One: Tofu Tacos

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Help, I am being held prisoner by vegans. They’re being nice to me, but I like my Greek yogurt. I like an occasional piece of chicken. I’ll even make a roll-up with Boar’s Head no salt added turkey. The vegans told me it is an intervention for my own good. Oh mercy, mercy. I have to eat broccoli, edema, kale, Brussel sprouts (ugh!), quinoa, and beans. Need I go on. Don’t get me wrong, I like broccoli, kale, quinoa, and beans. But life is more than that.

They promised to let me go if I promised to make tofu tacos. Hey, I live in San Antonio. A tofu taco? I’ll have a taco cartel on my case. And, rightly so. The vegans said it would be healthy, full of protein, and taste great. I’m not one to quibble. I agreed to make the dish and report it on my blog. You should have heard the cheering. They quickly cut the seaweed bonds from my hands, gave me a drink of champagne, or should I say wheat grass (where’s the Listerine, por favor). We had a group hug. They made me promise to take the tofu tacos to one of their vegan potluck dinners.

Here are a couple of tofu tips for carnivores: 1) You won’t find tofu at the meat counter. You won’t find it in the bakery or with the chips, although you may find vegans checking out the chips. I’m not suggesting the chip aisle is a good place to meet vegans. But you never know. Best bet, ask one of the store clerks where they keep it. Honestly, it is really, really hard for a guy to ask directions. We’d rather drive a hundred miles in a wrong direction and claim it’s a shortcut instead of asking for help. I can see Babe now nodding her head in agreement. When I finally set my hubris aside and asked for help, they told me the tofu was in its logical place, right next to the mushrooms, and packaged organic spinach. I don’t want to question the wisdom of the placed, but there must be a better place. 2) Only purchase the extra firm (hard as a brick, I wish) tofu. Tofu is really good for you. According to the BBC, “Tofu is a good source of protein and contains all eight essential amino acids. It is also an excellent source of iron and calcium and the minerals manganese, selenium and phosphorous. In addition, tofu is a good source of magnesium, copper, zinc and vitamin B1.”

I cut the block of tofu in half. I wrap the half I’m going to use in paper towels to dry it out. It’s going to be wet, so I have to use more paper towels. Paper towels are expensive, money doesn’t grow on trees unless its Bounty. My brand of choice. The squares in the 1st picture are not dominoes. They’re, mas o meno, all alike, but like fingerprints, none of my tofu squares are alike. I baste them with a mixture of EVOO, ginger, and turmeric. Ye gads you’re shouting the intervention got to him. Ray has to be deprogrammed. Trust me, it’s going to turn out. The third photo shows the tofu ready for the skillet.

Turn up the sizzle. I have the heat turned way up. I have a splash of EVOO in the pan and it’s popping. I put the tofu in and let it go. I have time to check my email, see who retweeted me on Twitter before I have to flip these babies. Gentle on the flipping, tofu is very sensitive. When the tofu is about 90% done, I add my cut up poblano, red, and green peppers and onion. We’re making tacos right? What’s a taco without that combo? I got this. It’s all under control. I think I’ll have a sip of my iced tea.

I transfer my tofu and veggies to a bowl. I get my tortillas ready. You can see the brand I use – low in calories, high in protein and fiber. If you see the lower left-hand corner of the tortilla package torn, it’s the way a guy opens a package. Why get the scissors when brute force is better. You’re looking at one healthy, good for the heart meal. After I roll and eat my tacos, I’m sending my vegan friends a thank you letter. They did not, however, convert me.

 

 

Designed to Love

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“Don’t brood. Get on with living and loving. You don’t have forever.” – Leo Buscaglia

Babe loved Dr. Leo Buscaglia. She watched his specials on PBS and read his books. She called him Dr. Love. He was a man of deep wisdom, common sense, and compassion who understood enjoying life and loving all you meet are at the center of it all.

Brooding and hosting a pity party for one is bad for the disposition and health. There is no benefit to it. I declare today a national no brooding day. Pity parties are relegated to February 30th. That’s right, there is no February 30th. You and I have today – let’s enjoy every moment, each person, each breath of air.

Think of all the wonderful, marvelous things life gives us to enjoy. I speak for myself. I have five daughters who would help me at the drop of a hat. I have grandchildren who enjoy having me toss a football, play basketball, or tell stories. The birds sing to me every morning, noon, and evening. The sun warms me. Music soothes my spirit and makes me smile.

We are designed to love and be loved. We are given the gift of life and love to enjoy and help others to enjoy. I think I’ll go dancing. I may jump on the stage and sing. I am filled with joy.

 

Keep On Moving

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How do you get through the times?

Keep on moving.

How do you get through the emotionally painful times?

Keep on moving.

How do you get on with your life after a setback?

Keep on moving.

You get the idea – keep on moving. Don’t stop.  Keep on moving. Keep your eyes on the distant goal. Never look down. Never stop.

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Life Is For The Courageous

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“I can’t change the past, but I can make tomorrow better.” ~ unknown

I can’t count the times I would have changed the past if I had the power to change it. I can’t.  In hindsight, I’ve come to view the past as my unique journey. My pilgrimage through the wilderness called life. Life isn’t for the faint of heart, the weak of knees. It’s for the courageous. It is for those whose hearts burn a candle of hope. It is for those who understand the past is a teacher and the present moment to be embraced with an eye toward tomorrow. I let four principles guide me.

  1. I know what I do today will shape my tomorrow.
  2. I know I don’t have to live in yesterday, I’ve already lived there. I take what is good, leave the rest behind.
  3. I know my dreams are important to shaping my tomorrow. I will dream big dreams and I will not give up on them.
  4. I know, if my heart is right, my eyes on the ultimate goal, wherever I travel in the wilderness of life, I am guided by faith and it will end well.

Ray’s Recipe for one: Pizza, the Perfect Food

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I have good friends in the UK and I owe them one! National Pizza Day was started in the UK. February 9th. I’ve already circled it on the calendar. I’ll make a pizza calendar. The new year beginning February 9.  I can’t help myself, I was weaned on pizza, meatballs, macaroni, spaghetti, pasta fagioli (to the uninitiated, bean soup), and hard crusty Italian bread. I grew up hearing my dad say pizza was the perfect food and the other Italian foods were a close second. I never dared tell my dad I doubted him, even when he was in his nineties.

You are already thinking Ray’s going to tell us how to make pizza. Wrong, I’m going to tell you how to make a kale salad. Whoa, slow down, only kidding. I hear my dad whistling from heaven. Kale move over, you’re not the perfect health food and take your friend’s broccoli, spinach, and edema with you. The perfect food is pizza. I’ve locked the doors, turned off the iPhone, no harassing calls from the health police or Whole Foods, por favor.

Pizza is the universal, speaks all languages food. It is the one food that can unite the world, contribute to world peace, and stop global warming. Okay, I’m a first-born Italian male and given to exaggeration. All kidding aside, I can’t stop kidding. I don’t want to tell you how many detentions I got in school, it wasn’t pretty. I thought they added an extra hour of the school day to honor me.

Think about pizza possibilities. My uncle Tony liked anchovies on his pizza. Uncle Carmen, sausage. Uncle Joe, pepperoni. My dad, hot peppers, and salami. Uncle Pete, olives and ground beef. A party night for the extended family was like eating at the UN. Go for it. Pour on any kind of meat you want, the more the better. Don’t forget to triple cheese it. Me? I eat healthily. I can see my dad rolling his eyes. I’m going to give you my great tasting, eat it every night of the week and take it for lunch pizza. You’ll develop a six-pack, be able to do one-armed pushups. And, beat the Ethiopians in the Boston Marathon. Hey, I told you I was prone to exaggeration.

The Basics. Every great pizza has two basic ingredients, the crust, and the sauce. Ray’s rule, make it easy, healthy, and tasty. The crust takes ten seconds. “Ten seconds, you say? Surely, you jest.” I hear you. That’s how long it takes me to cut open a package of Flatout flatbread. There are six in a pack. I eat two flatbread pizzas. Let’s see, I’ll use my iPhone and ask Siri. I’m talking to Siri. She’ patiently listening. I’m waiting for Siri.  She must be getting her nails done. Here she is, listen in, “Ray, you’ll have enough flatbread for three meals. Yum.” I say thanks to Siri. I have to talk to someone since I live alone.

I use the Flatout bread, it has extra protein and fiber, a healthy choice. I continue on the easy road. I line a pan with Reynolds Wrap non-stick aluminum foil. I saved a whole step. I’m on a roll. No, make that a pizza pan. The directions on the Flatout wrapper (I actually read the directions. Well, most of them. I stopped after I read, “Read the directions first.” It’s a guy thing. I put the flatbreads in an oven preheated to 380 for three minutes. In the meantime, I stir-fry my veggies. I said it’s going to be healthy. Toss out the vitamins. They’re going on my pizza.

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You got to love this combo. I have jalapenos, a poblano pepper, a red pepper, and onions. I use my EVOO to make it even healthier. I put the cover on the pan. I use crushed tomatoes as my sauce. I like the CIRIO brand. Why? The name ends in a vowel like mine. Really, the crushed tomatoes are awesome.They are non-GMO (Does that stand for Good Morning Oregon?). I use my crushed tomatoes to cover the flatbreads once I pull them out of the sauna (AKA oven). Once I cover the flatbreads with the tomatoes, the flatbreads go back in the sauna for another three minutes. I want the tomatoes hot. Siri does the countdown for me. When she gives me the ring, I pull the flatbreads out, add fresh-cut basil and my veggies. I cover the flatbreads with non-fat Kraft mozzarella cheese and sliced tomatoes. They’re ready to go back in the sauna to melt the cheese.

Another few minutes and I’m ready to party – party for one that is. There will be no prisoners for this meal.

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Tough Words From A Tough Teacher

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The Prayer of St. Francis

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy;

O Divine Master,
Grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console;
To be understood as to understand;
To be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Not a day goes by where life doesn’t teach me a lesson. Most days I’m too busy to listen to what life is trying to teach me. There are times when I have no choice but to listen. Nine months ago life knocked me down. I lay flat on my back. Life towered over me and said, “You’re going to listen to me. You’ve no choice. Whether you take to heart the lesson I’m going to give you is up to you. But you will listen to what I have to say.” Tough words from a tough teacher.

It’s strange how life’s challenges always come down to a choice. I have the freedom to choose. I can choose to hear life’s lesson, learn from it, and grow. Or, I can hear it, refuse to embrace it, and shrivel. It’s always my choice. The ultimate freedom.

Losing someone I deeply loved knocked me flat on my back. I chose not to stay down, but to get up and learn the lessons life is trying to teach this reluctant learner.  The words of Saint Francis of Assisi sum up many of life’s lessons for me. It’s my job to live them more fully day by day. Life will continue to teach me each day until my days are over and by that time I hope to have learned and applied all I need to go on to the next part of my journey.

Hold On

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Keep Your Eyes on the Prize

Paul and Silas, bound in jail
Had no money for to go their bail
Keep your eyes on the prize, hold on
Hold on, (hold on), hold on, (hold on)
Keep your eyes on the prize, hold on!
Hold on, (hold on), hold on, (hold on)
Keep your eyes on the prize, hold on!
 
Paul and Silas began to shout
Doors popped open, and they walked out
Keep your eyes on the prize, hold on
Hold on, (hold on), hold on, (hold on)
Keep your eyes on the prize, hold on!
 
Well, the only chains that we can stand
Are the chains of hand in hand
Keep your eyes on the prize, hold on  – African American Folk Song
Life happens. It happens to everyone. We have no idea what the next moment will bring. Life happens. In moments of triumph, we shout for joy. In moments of happiness, we laugh, dance, and sing. I moments of sorrow, we cry and fight despair and depression. Life happens.
Hold on. Hold on. Keep your eyes on the prize as the African American folk song encourages us to do. In our darkest hours, hold on, there is a way through, there is a way out. Hold on. Keep your eyes on the prize. It’s there waiting for you and me.

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