Grateful, Always Grateful

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Every person I’ve met who exudes peace, compassion, and a sense of emotional wellness that often escapes me have at their core a sense of gratefulness. They are my teachers. They the are poor and well to do. They’ve never experienced worldly success and they’ve been on top. They’re black, white, brown, and yellow. They’re men and women. Young and old. They represent all religions and ethnicities. They’re grateful for sun and blue sky. They’re grateful for a glass of water. They’re grateful for you and me. I want to be like them. Gratefulness is a way of life. Enjoy Rita Ora’s Oscar performance her Grateful Song.

 

My Puffed Male Ego Popped

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“Life’s much better for me, Ray, now that LC is in Chef Vigeli’s Culinary School,” said La Flor skimming through hairstyles photos on her iPad. She turned her iPad toward me, “Think this style will look good on me?” she asked.

This is a no win question for any guy. We lose either way. I summed up my guy knowledge and said, “You are beautiful, tough, and edgy. You’d make any hairstyle look good.” I impressed myself. Nice answer, Ray.

“I suppose. But I want the truth,” said La Flor with a knowing look that I was scamming her.

I wanted to say “You can’t handle the truth,” just like Jack Nicholson. Bad move. I let it go. Here’s the truth, I was only singing half a song, “You choose your hairstyle. I will write the blog so that every alt ego woman wants to copy your style. You’ll be the trendsetter.” I  am getting very good at this. I answered La Flor’s comeback with a sure fire win.

La Flor didn’t waste a second before she sent her volley to my backhand side, “I don’t care about them. I want to see LC drool. I want to hear him sigh. I want to see his knees get weak, buckle, and watch him collapse to the floor overcome with my beauty. I’m almost there. One more teeny push and he’s over the edge. As for you, drop the cute answers. Any woman can see right through them.”

“Oh.” La Flor took a knife and stuck it into my puffed male ego and I heard it pop.

Saved by …

“I didn’t knock because I use my burglar tools to get in,” said Big Carmen. “I also disarmed your alarm system. Reminds me to alarm it when I leave.”

I pay fifty bucks a month for an alarm system Big Carmen treats as Lego Blocks, the ads said burglars better beware, Something is wrong with this picture.

“How you doing good looking stud,” said La Flor speaking to Big Carmen. I was hoping she was talking to me.

“I’m doing a lots better now that I sees the beautiful, tough, and edgy woman of Little Carmen’s dreams.”

“Hi, Big Carmen,” I said.

“I didn’t come to talk to you, but since use is polite enough to say hi, hi,” said Big Carmen. He turned back to La Flor, “I gots a once in a lifeline propo for use.”

“I’m worn out from lawyering. My caseload is all booked up,” said La Flor.

“We got’s nobody under arrest. We do have a number of my business associates as persons of interest, but that is another matter.”

“What’s your propo?” said La Flor picking up on Big Carmen’s vocab.

“Charlie Sevini heads up LCM Pharmo. Charlie gots a problem. He likes to gamble, he loses a lot. He owes me lots and lots and so I now own half his company. I told him I wants use to be the company’s star in a nationwide ad for a beauty drug that will air on all the NFL games on opening week. I tooks the liberty to write the script for use. It will be on a teleprompter. Use will be dressed in such attire as to show the world your physical assets if use knows what I means.”

La Flor, playing it cool, took a sip of her coffee, “I’m really, really booked up, BC.”

“Do this as a fav for me and I will makes sure use gets your own dressing room, makeup artist, nail tech, hairstylist, and jewelry even if you’re not wearing it in the shoot. And, use get top dollar.”

“I want LC to be holding me in his arms and admiring my body with a glassy, lost look in his eyes,” said La Flor.

“Use got the hole (yes, he said hole) package.”

“Let me see the script,” said La Flor.

Big Carmen hands it to her. She starts reading it. “Hmmm. Hmmm. Hmmm. I don’t know. That’s got to go.” She looks up at Big Carmen. I’ll do it if I can make a few insignificant changes to the script.”

“Use is my angel, beautiful, tough, and edgy. When does use want to shoots it?”

“Come by tomorrow so we can go over the script. You’ll love the changes I made. I have to check with LC since he’s going to be holding me in the shoot. He should be home any second from Chef school.”

“it’s good to see the boy has a drop of ambition. I tink dats all he’s got.”

The front door slams, “I’m home. Did use know the alarm is off, Ray?”

“Uh huh.”

“Let me tells use all what I learned to today. It’s ground beef breaking. It’s funnel a normal” (I think he meant phenomenal).

“How so,” I said.

“I learned two tings. One, if the toast is hot, the peanut butter melts on it. Not many people know that. Second, did use know jelly goes with peanut butter? Who would have figured. Clef Vigeli is so creativity.”

“Dis is what Leo is teaching use? How to makes peanut butter and jelly toast?” said Big Carmen. “He’s gonna have peanuts when I gets through with him.”

“Hey, it’s a family blog,” I said.

“I apple gees. I forgets,” said Big Carmen.

“I brought home the peanut butter and jelly toast I made so use guys can try it,” said Little Carmen opening up a Tupperware container with three triangles of peanut butter and jelly toast. He offered each one of us a piece.

“Not bad,” I said.

“Very good, how did use do the swirl with the peanut butter. Makes me think we could add a swirl to the mozzarella on the pizza. Did I mention tonight’s special is a large build it any style for seven ninety-two when use add a small salad for six eighty-four?” said Big Carmen.

“I prefer chocolate,” said La Flor. Then she added, “With white wine.”

 

 

Life Is Tough – But You’re Tougher!

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Years ago, I began reading a book by M. Scott Peck and the first sentence was, “Life is difficult.” I called to Babe (my wife) and hollered, “This guy knows what he’s talking about.” Yes, life is tough. We each have moments. The tough times can knock us down. They can knock the wind out of us. They can leave us for dead. But, you and I are strong. We get up again and again. We don’t quit. The following Vimeo video provides a great pep talk on getting up and not quitting for any reason.

I’m Admiring My Hands

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“I haven’t seen your main squeeze all day. Did you guys split?” I asked La Flor.

“No, we didn’t split. But we’re not engaged anymore because you made me give the ring back. It was such a beautiful ring. It was so right on my finger and so wrong of you to take it away. I can only guess you don’t understand love,” said La Flor as she texted.

“Who are you texting?” I asked.

“Are you bored? Don’t you have something to do? I know I’m interesting, beautiful, tough, and edgy but I need some space. I was texting LC, if you must know. He’s at Vigeli’s School of Culinary Artists. Today’s his first day. He should be home any minute,” she said.

“I’m impressed. Vigeli’s school is exclusive. He only takes the most promising chef candidates into his classes. How did Little Carmen get in? He doesn’t seem like chef material.”

“The power of persuasion is the way I’d put it,” said La Flor.

“Little Carmen persuaded Chef Vigeli to take him into his classes?”

“No, LC is not in class. He has a better arrangement. Vigeli was persuaded to tutor LC one on one,” said La Flor now unfollowing every woman with what La Flor considered a bad hairdo.

“One on one tutoring? I don’t believe it. Chef Vigeli is a snob. He’s an elitist. He could never handle Little Carmen one on one.”

“He could if Big Carmen persuaded him,” said La Flor.

“Oh,” I said.

Then, the voice from the living room, “I’m home from school, beautiful, tough, and edgy lawyer, model, PI. Did I get them all?” said Little Carmen.

“Come in and give me a hug and kiss, I’m admiring my hands and don’t want to get up,” said La Flor.

Little Carmen bounded in as if he were a dog and the dog’s master said, “Let’s go for a walk.”

Kiss, hug, and squeeze.

“Now, LC. Sit down and tell Ray and me everything you learned at school today,” said La Flor.

I think I heard my mom ask me that same question, years ago.

“It was very thought prefabricating,” said LC. Did he mean provoking?

“How so,” I said.

“Clef Vigeli talked to me for five minutes then said we was going to do advance breakfast meals.”

“Treble or Bass Clef,” I asked.

“I’m not sure what’s his first name is. Reminds me to ask him tomorrow,” said LC. He got up went to the fridge, pulled out a beer. “I’m tursty, anybody else want something. He only got cheap wine, beautiful, tough, and edgy wine colonoscopy.”

I’m sure he mean connoisseur.

“Hurry up and tell Ray what you learned so we can get out of here. I’m getting the heebie-jeebies.”

Little Carmen took a long pull on his beer, hit his chest, and burped.

La Flor made a face. She started breathing through her mouth and fanning herself with her hands, “What is that smell? It’s awful? If you’re going to kiss me, you better brush and gargle.”

“Use smells my first creation, which I hads to eat. Lets me tell use. I would never make it or puts it on a menu. I figured it’s one of those breakfasts the snobbels eat.”

I also caught a whiff of the burp, started breathing through my mouth. I now have a hunch about Little Carmen’s first cooked meal.

Little Carmen sat up proud as a peacock, “Dis is exciting and complicit (I think he meant complicated). First I had to get a flat plate. There’s lots of them. I couldn’t choose one too big or one too small. It had to be just right (Is this a Goldilocks redo?). Then I had to put a piece of bread in the toaster. It seems simple, but it’s worse. Use can’t put it in sideways or upside down. Then I had to make sure the toast was perfectly brown on both sides. This took me six loaves to master. But I learned it. Then I had to spread peanut butter on the toast and give it a little twist at the end. I went through seven jars of peanut butter before I got it right. Vigeli was crying, he must have been so proud of me. Then I had to eat the peanut butter toast. I hates peanut butter almost as much as I hates toast.”

“What’s he going to teach you tomorrow?” I asked.

“I advance to putting jelly on top of the peanut butter.”

“Let’s get out of here. You and I need to talk.”

“Where to, beautiful, tough, and edgy one?”

“The closest wine shop,” said La Flor.

 

It’s Time: Chase Your Dreams

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Tomorrow. Mañana. How many times have each of us put off chasing our dreams until tomorrow? A dream is only a dream until we start to chase it. The chase becomes our story. When we begin the chase, we begin to write a story of courage, hope, and resilience. We write the first line of our story . . . “Today, I decided to chase my dream and follow my destiny.” The short animated Vimeo video gives us a chance to become inspired once again and set out chasing our dream, following our destiny.

https://vimeo.com/51704432

Seeing With New Eyes

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When we open ourselves to shed our biases, we see with new eyes. What we once saw disappears and we witness a new creation that was always there but impervious to our sight. Our judgments and our notions of how things should be evaporate. Our eyes and hearts open to new ways of seeing. This short Vimeo video will open your eyes to seeing what is familiar to seeing it differently, perhaps for the first time in your life.

La Flor Goes To Court

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“You can’t go into court dressed like that,” I said to La Flor.

“Why not? J.Lo dresses like this on the red carpet. And, I look a lot better than she,” said La Flor.

“It’s your show,” I said as I followed La Flor into the courtroom.

The bailiff reached for his angina pills. The district attorney dropped her brief case spilling her files onto the floor. Another bailiff rushed to the railing to open it for La Flor, then let it close on me.

I made my way to the defense table. She whispered to me, “It’s already working.”

“What?”

“I’m the center of attention. That’s the plan.”

A guard brings TT in and sits him at the table. “What are you looking at?” asked J.Lo, I mean La Flor.

“Uh, ah, uh, oh, nothing,” said the guard and left.

“I love to toy with men. Your species is so easy,” said La Flor.

“Are you going to help me,” begged TT.

“Depends,” said La Flor checking herself out in her mirror.

“On what?” whimpered TT.

“On the compliments I get in court,” said La Flor.

“You’re not going to ask me why I’m hear?” said TT tears running down his cheeks.

“Suck it up, TT. Five to ten will do wonders for you. Think of the great tats you’ll get for free. Think of the inspiration you’ll get from all the nice people you meet,” said La Flor applying lip gloss.

“I don’t want to go to prison. They want me to turn state’s evidence against Big Carmen,” said TT

“A minor detail. I’ll handle it. You’ll be back with the little tramp for dinner,” said La Flor.

“You’re speaking about Carmela, right?” I said.

“You know another tramp?” said La Flor.

“All rise, honorable Henry Fleeze presiding,” said the bailiff.

I tugged gently at La Flor’s arm to help her rise. I didn’t want to tear off what little of clothes she was wearing.

“Leave me alone, I’ve got to finish this nail,” said La Flor.

The judge and bailiff glared at La Flor. She ignored them. She finished using her emery board and placed it back into her handbag, then looked at the judge and bailiff, “You boys can sit so we can get this done.”

“Before I hold you in contempt, who are you?”

La Flor nudged me, “She’s the beautiful, tough, and edgy defense attorney,” I said.

“Who are you?” asked the judge.

“I created her, but she’s taken on a life of her own. I’m her as her legal assistant.”

“What she doing now?” demanded the judge.

“I think she posting to one of her many social media outlets.”

“Do you have a name?” he said to La Flor.

“Don’t use that tone of voice with me, fleas,” said La Flor.

“It’s Judge Fleeze,” said Judge Fleeze.

“Trying to impress me that you know your name?” La Flor turned to the courtroom, “Does anyone here not know their name?” No one raised their hand. La Flor added, “Case closed.”

“I’m going to have you removed from the court,” stammered the judge.

“You can’t,” said La Flor.

“And, why can’t I?” asked the judge.

“To start with, I’m eye candy. You’re staring at me. And, Ray will write you right out of here and send you back to wherever you came from. It’s his blog, you know.”

“It’s your blog,” asked the judge.

“Yes sir,” I said.

“Could you get me reassigned to the State Supreme Court. It’s always been my dream,” pleaded the judge.

“On one condition,” said La Flor.

“What’s that?” asked Judge Fleeze.

“You release TT and drop all charges and criticize the district attorney for her stupid hairdo.”

“Done, all charges dropped against TT and he is released immediately. DA Henson, you need to change stylists. Terrible doo.”

With that TT went home to Carmela, La Flor and I walked out of court into the black stretch limo, and Judge Fleeze became a judge on the State Supreme Court.

Make Me A Power Smoothie

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“I am so freaking excited. I am the cover girl for the roach’s jewels,” said La Flor lying on her yoga mat doing crunches, some crazy Pilates and core exercises. She added, “I’m already buff, but a cover girl can’t be too buff, suppose they want to feature a diamond in my navel. I have an innie. You can’t feature a diamond in an outie.” La Flor showing great pride in her bully button.

“I think it’s La Roche. What are you doing now?” I asked.

“What did I say? I hate to repeat myself. I’m working my legs and arms together. The best tummy tightener exercise possible. Make me a power smoothie while I finish up.”

“Do you want wheat grass? Gia seeds? Flaxseeds? Green tea? Kale? Spinach? What do you want in it?” I said.

“All the above. I’m in training. Go to one of those health blogs. The weird ones that everyone says they read but don’t. Unlike your blog where everyone says they don’t read and do because of me.”

“I have to time the smoothie. When will you be through with your workout?”

“I’ve got cardio. After cardio, I do upper body weights. Got to keep my natural and I emphasize the word natural wonders firm.”

“It’s a family blog, La Flor.”

“What I say? Lighten up, Ray. Get real. It’s not the Victorian age. Become comfortable with yourself and people will become comfortable with you.”

“Something like you,” I said.

The doorbell rings.

“Exactly. Get the door, it’s probably LC with his arms loaded with gifts for me and he can’t open the door.”

I take a step toward the door. I hear footsteps, it can only be …

“How’s it going beautiful, tough, and edgy and I misses you more than you know every man’s heart throb?” said Big Carmen.

“Hi Big Carmen,” I said.

“I come here to talk to the beautiful, tough, and edgy one. For you, I give you a word, hi,” said Big Carmen.

“Are you upset I didn’t take the job?”

Big Carmen turned toward me, “Upset? Upset? Why woulds use use that milder than my Wednesday night special white cheese pizza, special this week for four ninety nine when use buy eight cannoli for three bucks each word?”

“Something wrong?” I asked.

He turns toward La Flor, “Beautiful, tough, and edgy one, coulds use stop with the bouncing up and downs for a moment. I am getting dizzy with your beauty going back and forth so fast.”

La Flor stops half-way into a crunch. She stares at her abs. “I see a six pack forming. My dream. What is it BC, make it quick, I can’t hold this position for ever.”

“I needs use, but not the ways use thinks I needs use. I gots a question for use. Use may listen. Ray, but let the beautiful, tough and edgy one make up her own, personal, and I will add more brilliant than ten suns and four moons, and six iron stews mind.”

“Did you mean, Einstein?” I said.

“What I tell use abouts repeating what I say. What I say? Iron Stews.”

I pondered telling Big Carmen he repeated himself, but thought it unwise. Not because of him, but because La Flor was giving me a “don’t screw this up” look.

“Yes?” said La Flor flirting with her eyes at Big Carmen.

“Use eyes do something to make my heart have a murmur or someting. I don’t know how it happens. Anyways, there is this problem with someone use know. His name is TT. The cops arrested him. The fool was so happy with his job he thinks he can brags about it. He even text his brother who happens to be an undercover cop. I wants use to be his lawyer. I know use can get him off because use is beautiful, tough, and an edgy legal wizard.”

I said, “His brother turned him in?”

“It was his adopted brother, they’re not blood. But it is the only one he gots.”

“What’s he charged with?”

“Nothing. They want him to go into witness protection, which is a good ting and a bad ting. Now it is a bad ting. What’s that stuff use is making? Use not going to drink it?”

“It’s for La Flor. Part of her conditioning. It’s a power smoothie,” I said.

Big Carmen looked at La Flor, “Use wants to drink someting dat tastes worse than I can’t say because this a family blog and I don’t want use know who to reminds me again. I hate that.”

“What’s in it for me if I get TT out of witness protection?” said La Flor as calm as any Hollywood agent.

“Use gets to name use ticket right to da top of wherevers use wants to go,” said Big Carmen.

“I’ll need a new wardrobe. A personal trainer. A nail and hair tech on call 24/7 for starters. And, I want Ray for my legal assistant.”

“Use got it.”

“Ray, dump the smoothie and bring Big Carmen and me a glass of wine,” La Flor said.

“Huh?”

 

 

 

A Child’s Imagination

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A child, filled with imagination, dreams big dreams. Maybe one day, the young boy in this YouTube video will play for the Chicago Cubs, but today in his imagination, he is playing for them and it is real. Free the imagination in your little girl or boy. Let it run wild once again. Let it slay dragons, govern a magic kingdom, discover a new solar system. Set your course, let your inner child guide you.

 

Life Gives Us A Chance

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We can’t all be Olympian Michael Phelps. We can use Michael Phelps’ commitment to preparing for the Olympics to make a difference in life. Life gives us a chance. What we do with the chance is up to us. Perhaps fame and fortune will knock at our door. Perhaps we will toil in obscurity. It makes no difference. Bring a firm commitment to making the most of your precious gift of life. Use your wonderful gift to give joy to our world.

 

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