The Power of Love

“Only those who attempt the absurd can achieve the impossible.” – Albert Einstein

I am a guy dancing alone. In reality, I’m only alone if I choose to be alone. I am surrounded by great neighbors. I have great friends. I have wonderful daughters and grandchildren. Everywhere I travel I meet good people, kind people, compassionate people.

I am attempting the absurd, as Einstein says – I am proving to myself and to all who share a similar journey, suffering doesn’t have the last word. Love has the last word. Despair has no place in the conversation. Love is the conversation. Sorrow will not triumph. Love will triumph over all.

Yes, believing in the awesome, healing, renewing, recreating power of love is absurd. It is the path I follow to achieve the absurd.

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Here For A Purpose

The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. 
-Ralph Waldo Emerson 

Have you had tough times? Dumb question, right?  We’ve all had our share of tough times. No one is a stranger to life’s storms. We’ve all had moments when our world turned dark, leaving us wondering if the sun will shine again. Life happens

Life happens in ways we don’t understand. The only fair thing about life is that it is unfair, unpredictable, and uncertain.

I believe, in spite of life’s unfairness, unpredictability, and uncertainty, you and I are here for a purpose. I believe our purpose involves other people. It doesn’t take keen insight to know we all need compassion. We all need to feel loved. We all need to feel needed. I know I find my happiness not in things but through my relationships with other people. I find a deep sense of joy when those I love succeed. I feel a deep sense gratitude when I make a difference in someone else’s life.

I’ve come to understand, any happiness I find occurs when I move from ME to We.

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We Are Not Defeated

We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated. – Maya Angelou

I love the words by Maya Angelou, “We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated.” I know by observation and experience that a defeat is only a setback, a stumbling point. It is not the end of the journey. It marks the beginning of the Journey.

It marks the beginning of the Journey.

It is the place where we get to rise and stride forward.

It is the place where we summon the courage to rejoin the quest.

It is the place where we indelibly stamp our character with a mark of who we are.

It is the place where we find out what we are made of.

It is the place where we stand, hand in hand, with all others of good will, who refuse to be defeated, who rise and again begin our journey.

We Are Not Defeated

Making it Through the Tough Times

What you are thinking, what shape your mind is in, is what makes the biggest difference of all.  ~ Willie Mays

You and I experience tough times. You and I have the stuff to make it through tough times. We were created with an inner toughness to get up after being knocked down.

Tough times don’t keep tough people down for long. They get up, shake the dust, and get going again. It’s what they do.  They reach down and find they still have a bit more they give. They don’t save it. They summon it up and give it their all. That’s what they do.

This week. Let’s give it our all.

This week. Let’s stick our face in the wind and bring our best.

This week. Let’s shake the dust, get up, and get going again.

When the weekend comes, we’ll look back together, smile and say, “WE DID IT. WE MADE IT THROUGH. YES WE DID!”

Leap

Easy, Healthy, and Fun Meal – Fish Tacos

You ever have a day where the chaos grabs hold of you, tosses your plans in the air, and you watch a southerly breeze carry them down the street and over a fence? It happens frequently to me. That’s why I have a contingency backup, surefire, ready fix, not going to miss backup plan.

I hear what you’re thinking. You’re saying you understand why the Ray was born with brown eyes. I was born with brown eyes, but they’re as blue now as the south Texas summer sky at noon. What does that mean? No, I’m not wearing contacts. It means, what I’m about to share with you, is between you and me. And, everyone else who reads the blog.

I live in San Antonio. I’m only two and half hours away from Corpus and the Gulf. This makes lots of sense to me. For one, when you’re enjoying the snow and sub-zero temperatures, I can take a drive to the Gulf and walk barefooted along the shore. Ouch, you say? I’m sorry, that was an unfair shot at everyone north of the Texas border. The second reason, fresh fish is always available in San Antonio. Today, I’m going for the second option. Hence, the title, Fish Tacos. 

Make it easy, two small corn tortillas (a staple of life in this wonderful city). Chop, chop, how hard is it to make pico de Gallo, shred cabbage and top the tortillas with a dab of sour cream? Not very!

Check out my healthy plate. Note the avocado (my heart is doing backflips it’s so happy). A bit of rice and I’m good to go. Easy as 1 – 2 – 3;

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I said it was fun. I invite a friend to have dinner with me. Food is always better when you share a meal.

Let’s talk about easy. Okay, I’m busted. We went to a great Mexican restaurant (another trait of the Alamo City).

You can eat out, eat healthy, and have fun. And, there is no cleanup.

We Are Strong

SoulStrong/Breakaway by Siddharth Anand
Abandon the past
Throw away the baggage
Suffer no more. avast(stop now)

Breakaway from the chains and shackles
Which from you, your life, take away;
Breathe again; this time without constraint
And the dreams in your eyes
Realize;

Forget fear. Forget the barriers and the walls
Even the greatest of mountains on your feet will fall
When you with self-trust stand tall.

Walk away from those who try to cheat on your soul. Don’t stall.
Remember the wisdom of those wiremen The universal law will square all.

Dream and don’t give up
And if they don’t shape up
Try. try once more.
Don’t breakup.

For the race of life
Is won, not, by the fastest or the strongest
But, by the one who can give his all……….

I want to report life is easy – I can’t.
I want to report you and I will easily climb the next mountain – I can’t.
I want to report suffering will not ever again knock at your door or mine – I can’t.
I can report that you and I are strong.
We have an inner guide and an abundance of strength to take over the next mountain and the mountain after that, and whatever mountains await us.
I can report that suffering will not have the last word. You and I will not let it.
We are a strong, hope-filled people and we know if we join hands, lift our hearts and minds to a loving God, it’s all going to turn out right.

Fight On – Fight On – Fight On

strength in chaos

My Heart Loves Coffee

I had a lengthy conversation with my heart this morning

“Good morning heart, hope you have a great day.”

“Give me my morning coffee Ray. I’m not awake yet. I’m running on automatic pilot. Did you know coffee helps to protect from heart attacks, strokes, and heart failure, cancer, Alzheimer’s disease, and may even help the Red Sox win the World Series?” my heart says groggily.

I scoop out Starbucks and put it into the coffee maker. I want to make the ticker happy.

“Hey, I don’t care for the name ticker. I know what you’re thinking. Remember, I’m connected directly to your scatterbrain,” says my heart.

“Don’t get fresh, your coffee will be done in five minutes.”

“Let’s think ahead Ray. Put the coffee maker on autopilot when you go to sleep. It will be ready when you awake. Better yet, move the coffee maker next to the bed.”

“That’s all I need is to smell coffee all night long,” I say.

“What’ for dinner?” says heart.

“Dinner? I thought we were talking about coffee.”

“Unlike you, I can juggle more than 1 ball,” says heart.

“Coffee’s done, heart. I hope it turns you into a kinder, gentler person.”

Nothing is spoken for a bit.

“My, you’re looking good Ray. Coffee is my miracle drink. Let’s enjoy the day and life.

CHEERS!

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You are Phenomenal

“A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.” – Christopher Reeve

You’re not so ordinary. In fact, you are phenomenal. You are strong. You are resilient. You have an inner mental toughness.

Don’t believe me? Well, think again. And, I promise you will not have to think too hard and you will know that every word I spoke about you is true.

Here is a little exercise for you to do. It’s not hard. It won’t take long. You don’t need anyone but you.

All it takes is three small steps:

  1. Remember a time in your life where you faced a challenge. Perhaps the challenge overwhelmed you at first. But, you stayed with it. You didn’t run away. You didn’t hide. You were successful in overcoming it.
  2. Visualize the challenge. What was the challenge? Who was there? What time of year did it happen? What were you feeling?
  3. Picture in your mind’s eye the events of you triumphing over the challenge. How did you feel when you knew you conquered the challenge? What did it teach you about yourself?

It’s all in your history. Your history is the history of a strong, resilient good man or woman. Don’t ever doubt your capacity to overcome any challenge.

“All the adversity I’ve had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me… You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.” – Walt Disney

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Getting Over Life’s Problems

Interviewer: “Dr. Frankl, what is the difference between people who can pick themselves up and get over life’s problems and those cannot?”

Dr. Viktor Frankl, “The decisive factor is the freedom to make a decision I want to become this way or that in spite of my conditions. … The freedom and responsibility for making something out of themselves.”

Dr. Viktor Frankl’s work, Man’s Search for Meaning guided my doctoral dissertation and played an important role in my life from the moment I read it. I’ve reread it several times. Each time I read it, I gain new insights.

His work sheds light on my path through the grieving process. In his book, he talks about discovering the meaning in one’s life that one can dedicate himself or herself to in spite of the conditions he or she finds himself or herself in.

Yes, grieving hurts like hell. I can’t do anything about it. But I discovered my meaning or some might say it is a call, and I pursue it with focus and vigor. I wrote a book about grieving and share my insights in how grieving affected me and how I am working through it. I intend to work with grieving groups to help those who share a similar experience find their way through their grieving process.

What meaning drives your life? Are you a better person because of the path you have chosen? Are others better because of you? These are questions I ask myself each day.

mountains and valleys high

Music Touches The Soul

Without music life would be a mistake. ~Friedrich Nietzsche

I have always enjoyed music. Music touches the deepest part of my soul. It rouses memories, stirs emotions, and connects me to the deeply spiritual source within me. Music can make me cry and shout for joy. When Babe went into the hospital, I stopped playing music. Making the decision to being to listen to music was difficult for me. It was nearly two months after Babe’s passing before I let music reenter my life. It was a good decision to start to listen to music again.

Yes, some songs still flood my eyes with tears and my soul with emotions. That’s okay. Music is therapeutic for me. It is good medicine. I sing along with the performer (glad no one hears me). I even feel the beat down into my feet again. It is a good feeling.

If, you, like me, are grieving and music stirs your deepest emotions, don’t fear to listen to music. The joys it brings far outweigh anything else. Now, when songs play and remind me of Babe, I am filled with good memories and heartfelt gratitude.

I feel like singing. I think I’ll play some of my favorite tunes.

Couple Walking on Beach

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