funny

My friend ask me to round up her 4 cats.

I said, “Five.”

How many opticians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Is it one or two? One… or two?

Small child: ” Dad, can you put my shoes on?”

Dad: Sorry son, I don’t think they’ll fit me.

Did you hear about the near-sighted porcupine?

He fell in love with a pincushion.

Source

Two dyslexics walk into a bra.

Source

My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are.

But I laugh more.

So what if I don’t know what “Armageddon” means?

It’s not the end of the world.

The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested.

I hear they’re gonna give him a really tough sentence.

A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke.

Thank goodness it was a soft drink.

Source