Joe: “Do you like Orion’s Belt?”
Pete: “I guess.”
Joe: “I give it three stars.”
Joe: “This morning, over breakfast with my girlfriend, I was telling her about my talk today. She gave me some advice.”
Pete: “What did she say?”
Joe: “She said, ‘Don’t try to be charming, intelligent, or witty. Just be yourself.”
Joe: “I told my night school professor I didn’t deserve an F on my test and he agreed with me.”
Pete: “He did? What did he say?”
Joe: “He said, F was the lowest grade the computers allowed him to give me.”
Joe: “My dream has finally come true. I was accepted at Harvard.”
Pete: “Do you know how many applied?”
Joe: “Yah, I was selected out of 100 to be a janitor.”
Joe: “My girlfriend asked me if I heard of Pavlov.”
Pete: “What did you say?”
Joe: “It rings a bell.”
Joe: “Tomorrow I start my new job as a garbage collector. But they didn’t give me any training.”
Pete: “What will you do?”
Joe: “The boss said not to worry, I’ll pick it up as I go.”
Joe: “My girlfriend told me I was getting fat.”
Pete: “What did you say to her?”
Joe: “I said, ‘Lately, I’ve had a lot on my plate.”
Joe: “My girlfriend got a new workout routine. She’s really good at it.”
Pete: “What is it?”
Joe: Jumping to conclusions.”
Joe: “I convinced y girlfriend to watch the championship boxing match last night. It lasted only 30 seconds.”
Pete: “What did she say?”
Joe: “She said, ‘Now you know how I feel.'”
Joe: “I bought a keyboard and already I can play all the notes.”
Pete: “You must be a natural.”
Joe: ‘I still have to learn how to put them in the right order.”
