Joe: “My girlfriend has been bugging me to go to the gym so I’ve started resistance training.”
Pete: “What are you doing?”
Joe: “Refusing to go to the gym.”
jokes
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Clairvoyant
Joe: “I can tell when people are being judgmental.”
Pete: “How do you do that, Joe?”
Joe: “Just by looking at them.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Goes to a Wedding
Joe: My two Wi-Fi friends got married.”
Pete: “How was the wedding?”
Joe: “The wedding was okay. The reception was great.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s GF Gives Him Advice
Joe: “My girlfriend and I were cleaning our apartment when she hollered at me.”
Pete: “What did she say?”
Joe: “She said, “It’s a toilet brush not a microphone.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Asked His GF if She Was Suicidal
Joe: “I asked my girlfriend if she felt suicidal.”
Pete: “That was good of you, Joe. What did she say?”
Joe: “She said, ‘If I wanted to commit suicide, I’d climb to the top of your ego and jump.'”
Today’s Joke: Joe Compares His GF to His Shower
Joe: “My shower is like my girlfriend.”
Pete: “How so, Joe?”
Joe: “It’s either scalding hot or ice cold.”
Today’s Joke: Joe and His GF Dine Out
Joe: “I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant and she complained that the food was terrible.”
Pete: “What did you say to her?”
Joe: “I agree and the portions are way too small.”
Today’s Joke: Is Joe Reading a Self Help Book?
Joe: “I’m reading a book that explains everything about my life.”
Pete: “What’s the book’s title?”
Joe: “Inertia.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Helps His GF Make a Decision
Joe: “My girlfriend can’t decide if she wants to be hair stylist or a novelist.”
Pete: “Did you give her any advice?”
Joe: “Yah. I told her to flip a coin and see if it landed heads or tales.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Orders Coffee from Starbucks
Joe: “I went to Starbucks and ordered a coffee without cream.”
Pete: “Did they get your order right?”
Joe: ‘Not quite. The barista said, ‘We’re out of cream, how about no milk?'”
