Joe: “94 percent of graduates from my university were placed in jobs.”
Pete: “What about the other 5 percent?”
Joe: “They were English majors.”
jokes
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Picky About His Food
Joe: “I really enjoy eating snails.”
Pete: “Why’s that, Joe?”
Joe: “It’s not fast food.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Needs to Get a Life
Joe: “I tried to catch fog yesterday.”
Pete: “Were you able to do that?”
Joe: “I mist.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Going to Prove a Point
Joe: “My dad told me I wouldn’t amount to much because I procrastinate.”
Pete: “What did you say to your Dad?”
Joe: “I said, “Just you wait.”
Today’s Joke: Does Joe Qualify for a Spelling Bee?
Joe: “I thin icy is the easiest word to spell.”
Pete: “You sure about that?”
Joe: “When I think about it, I see why.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Is Willing to Go A Long Way
Joe: “I have an incredible sex drive.”
Pete: “You do?”
Joe: “Yah, my girlfriend lives 100 miles (160 km) away.”
Today’s Joke:
Joe: “I can’t joke around with my brother, Sam.”
Pete: “He doesn’t have a sense of humor?”
Joe: “Sam’s a kleptomaniac and he always takes things literally.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Needs Another Session or Two
Joe: “I was seeing a psychologist because I was so indecisive.”
Pete: “Did it help?”
Joe: “I’m not sure.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Wants to Grow Herbs
Joe: “I went to the garden store. I wanted to know how to grow herbs.”
Pete: “Did you learn anything?”
Joe: “I got some sage advice.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Should Know Some Things Are Best Left Unsaid
Joe: “I told my girlfriend that from the first time I saw her I wanted to make love to her badly.”
Pete: “What did she say?”
Joe: “She said, ‘You succeeded.'”
