Joy is contagious. Are you a carrier? All it takes to bring joy is sharing your wonderful gift. Your magical gift, given freely to others to experience and the only reward is to see the joy on the face or faces of those you touched. I smiled throughout this YouTube video. I caught the contagious spreading of joy. I hope you will have a similar experience. Ray
A grateful attitude is a pathway to happiness, joy, and love. When I view life through my heart’s lens, I see all life as a gift I have no time for sorrow, no time for envy, no time to crawl inside a personal prison. I jump for joy, for each moment is Christmas – it is all gift. Please enjoy this powerful YouTube video about gratitude.
Fearful Of Trying Something New? Take heart from a young girls courage to conquer her fears.
“What is life all about, Ray?”
I’m sitting at my desk trying to come up with a cute idea for today’s blog and La Flor* asks about the meaning of life. My head feels like it’s performing on the uneven parallel bars at the Olympics. I ask her for clarification, “Why are you asking me, La Flor*? Do I look like I’ve figured it out?”
“Not a chance. Who else is there to ask. I don’t see anyone else in the room with us, Ray. Who do you think I was asking, if not you,” asked La Flor? A puzzled look on her face as she glances around the room.
I pondered her question. La Flor is serious. I can’t criticize her. I’ve had colleagues accuse me of being ADHD and that was one of their nicer compliments. I don’t know what prompted La Flor to ask me what life is all about.
I turned the question around and said, “What do you think life is all about, La Flor?”
La Flor looked at me, shrugged, and said, “I always do better in deep conversations with a glass of wine, crackers, and cheese. I know you don’t drink. I still can’t figure an Italian not drinking wine. This is one of the mysteries that Leflore, beautiful, tough, and edgy is trying to figure out. I’ll be right back.”
I’m trying to get used to La Flor slipping between the first and third person as if her conversation were normal. I’m still not used to it.
Five minutes later, La Flor places a glass half filled with Sauvignon Blanc, a wedge of fresh buffalo mozzarella, and wheat crackers and the remainder of the bottle on my desk next to my laptop. I’m freaking out. What if she gets excited and knocks over her wine on my keyboard?
“Problemo, Ray?”
I do my guy thing showing nothing bothers me even when it really does. “No problemo, La Flor. I looked at her wheat crackers and tossed a bit of guy humor toward her, “Good thing you don’t have a gluten allergy,” I said.
“Ray, if we’re going to have a serious conversation about life back off and let me sip my wine, a few bites of my cheese and crackers and I’ll be ready. What would make you want to talk about glue? I don’t have a glue allergy I don’t use glue.”
I made a mental note about the tough part of the beautiful, tough, and edgy description. I’ve not seen it before. It fits.
La Flor took a sip of wine, another bite of mozzarella on a wheat cracker and then said, “I’m trying to help you, Ray. I’ll keep it simple. Like you say, guy speak.”
“I can use all the help I can get,” I said.
“Life is like the perfect cup of coffee.”
“I hope Starbucks doesn’t steal that as a slogan. That’s pretty good, La Flor. What does it mean?”
“Am I being a little too deep for you, Ray?”
” I’m over my head in this conversation, La Flor.”
“The perfect cup of coffee has the right balance of boldness, a sassy flavor, and an aroma that makes you want to keep coming back for more,” La Flor said with a smug sense of self-satisfaction.
“I think I’m getting your point, La Flor. The perfect cup of coffee is like you.”
“I never thought of it that way, but there are striking similarities. And if I may continue…”
“Please do, La Flor. I’m interested in knowing more about what life is all about.”
La Flor poured more wine into her glass. She took another sip, and said, “When life is all wrong, it’s like a bad cup of coffee.”
“How’s so,” I said.
“Oh, Ray, you really need to get out more. You have to begin to have conversations with people who are interested in things other than the Boston Red Sox, the New England Patriots, Ohio State football, and good pizza venues.”
“I didn’t know there was more to life,” I said. I was worried she may be right. If she is, it will create an imbalance in my perfect world.
“No wonder, girls night out has become institutionalized. We need deep, intelligent, conversations free from football, baseball, and action-adventure flicks. It’s the kind of talk we can only get from each other.”
“Remind me if you would like to see the Spiderman movie with me this weekend?”
La Flor looked at me, then grabbed the bottle of wine to refill her glass. I wasn’t sure if I was the cause.
“You never explained to me how life going wrong is like a bad cup of coffee,” I said.
“Do I really. really need to explain to you what a bad cup of coffee tastes like?”
“I get your point. Did you get your question answered, La Flor?”
“What question, Ray?”
“What is life all about?”
“You’re asking the wrong person, Ray. Why would you want to know? Are you having an existential crisis?”
“Where did you pick up that term? And do you know what it means?”
“I was practicing my PI stuff over at the philosophy blog. They were having a heated discussion about an existential crisis. I walked in and told them to take it to the UN to solve the crises.”
“How did that work?
“La Flor, beautiful, tough, and edgy PI stopped the argument. They couldn’t speak. I think the group leader was hyperventilating. They stared at me with their mouths wide open. I bowed and left.”
“I’m impressed, La Flor.”
“I enjoyed our deep conversation. A bit of a heads up for you, Ray.”
“What’s that, La Flor?”
“Deep conversations can be very boring. I think I would rather you talk about football. At least you know what you’re talking about, some of the time. Are you going to let me in your fantasy football league?”
“We have six weeks to think about it, La Flor”.
” Okay, in the meantime, I think I will text my alt ego friends to come on over and enjoy life with me. I’ll be happy we can spend time together. You don’t mind, do you, Ray?”alt ego friends to come on over and enjoy life with me. I’ll be happy we can spend time together. You don’t mind, do you, Ray?”
“You go girl.”
I like La Flor’s attitude, life is about living it, enjoying friends, filling the moments with love, happiness, and joy. La Flor grabs hold of life with both hands and won’t let go. I think I’ll do the same.
* La Flor is a fictional character and acts as my alt ego. Her character has evolved over the blog posts. She began with a single letter as her name. Her name gradually grew to two letters, then three before she settled on La Flor. She liked the name because it fit her idea of a beautiful, tough, and edgy feminine PI. It is my interaction with her persona that serves as the source of these blog posts. I have no notion how La Flor will continue to evolve. It is an adventure for me as well as the reader.
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The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Have you had tough times? Dumb question, right? We’ve all had our share of tough times. No one is a stranger to life’s storms. We’ve all had moments when our world turned dark, leaving us wondering if the sun will shine again. Life happens
Life happens in ways we don’t understand. The only fair thing about life is that it is unfair, unpredictable, and uncertain.
I believe, in spite of life’s unfairness, unpredictability, and uncertainty, you and I are here for a purpose. I believe our purpose involves other people. It doesn’t take keen insight to know we all need compassion. We all need to feel loved. We all need to feel needed. I know I find my happiness not in things but through my relationships with other people. I find a deep sense of joy when those I love succeed. I feel a deep sense gratitude when I make a difference in someone else’s life.
I’ve come to understand, any happiness I find occurs when I move from ME to We.
Without music life would be a mistake. ~Friedrich Nietzsche
I have always enjoyed music. Music touches the deepest part of my soul. It rouses memories, stirs emotions, and connects me to the deeply spiritual source within me. Music can make me cry and shout for joy. When Babe went into the hospital, I stopped playing music. Making the decision to being to listen to music was difficult for me. It was nearly two months after Babe’s passing before I let music reenter my life. It was a good decision to start to listen to music again.
Yes, some songs still flood my eyes with tears and my soul with emotions. That’s okay. Music is therapeutic for me. It is good medicine. I sing along with the performer (glad no one hears me). I even feel the beat down into my feet again. It is a good feeling.
If, you, like me, are grieving and music stirs your deepest emotions, don’t fear to listen to music. The joys it brings far outweigh anything else. Now, when songs play and remind me of Babe, I am filled with good memories and heartfelt gratitude.
I feel like singing. I think I’ll play some of my favorite tunes.
This past weekend, one of my daughters and her two girls visited me. Here I am a guy dancing alone, getting into a rhythm of living alone and having my life disrupted. What I eat, when I eat, what I do and when I do it, all disrupted. What a glorious disruption! I wouldn’t trade it.
I played with the girls. We went to the zoo. We went to the pastry counter at HEB’s Central Market. The girls took me out of my game. We all went walking on nature trails. We went out for Tex-Mex. Every moment was joy-filled. I thought often of Babe and how easily she moved out of her game and joined in with whoever was in her presence. I am grateful I followed her example. Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!
It’s a good thing to be taken out of my game. I’ve learned the world doesn’t revolve around my game. I’m on this wonderful planet for the ride. I want to make it a joyful and joy-filled ride. Joy is a shared event. Other people need to be involved. It’s a funny thing, we feed each other’s joy when we are invited into their space.
This week, I will extend an open invitation to all who want to enter my space and share my joy with me. I will also readily accept any RSVP to enter a joy-filled space with another. I think I’ll start passing out the smiles, eye sparkles, and hugs.
Keep Your Eyes on the Prize
Paul and Silas, bound in jailHad no money for to go their bailKeep your eyes on the prize, hold onHold on, (hold on), hold on, (hold on)Keep your eyes on the prize, hold on!Hold on, (hold on), hold on, (hold on)Keep your eyes on the prize, hold on!Paul and Silas began to shoutDoors popped open, and they walked outKeep your eyes on the prize, hold onHold on, (hold on), hold on, (hold on)Keep your eyes on the prize, hold on!Well, the only chains that we can standAre the chains of hand in handKeep your eyes on the prize, hold on – African American Folk Song
Let your hopes, not your hurts, shape your future.
– Robert H. Schuller
I am who am. I can be nothing more than what I am. It doesn’t matter so much if others like who I am as much as it matters that I like who I am. I do. I very much like who I am. I wasn’t alway this way. I tried to polish my image. I sandpapered the rough edges. None seemed to help. Then, one day, a moment of grace. I understood, at a deep level, I am the cumulative sum of all my experiences, the good and the bad. The joys and the sorrows. The successes and the failures. It’s all me. I knew in that moment if I were to ever love myself and like who I am, I had to embrace it all. All of it, the stuff I wanted and the stuff I wish never happened that made me into what I am today. I am grateful for all that was, and is and is to come. I like me, who I am, and what I am becoming.
