laugh out loud

Question: How do trees get online?

Answer: They just log on!

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Question: Why are skeletons so calm?

Answer: Because nothing gets under their skin.

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Question: Why are ghosts such bad liars?

Answer: Because they are easy to see through.

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I have a fear of speed bumps.

But I am slowly getting over it.

Question: Why don’t scientists trust atoms?

Anwer: Because they make up everything.

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Question: What happens once in a minute and twice in a moment but never in a decade?

Answer: The letter “m.”

An 89 year old man is driving on a divided highway.

His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, ”George, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there is a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!”

George says, ”I know, I’m on 280 and there isn’t just one, there are hundreds!”

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Joe: I have the perfect son.
Pete: Does he smoke?
Joe: No, he doesn’t.
Pete: Does he drink whiskey?
Joe: No, he doesn’t.
Pete: Does he ever come home late?
Joe: No, he doesn’t.
Pete: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
Joe: And, he will be six months old next Wednesday.

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Question: Can February march?

Answer: No, but April may.

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