Today’s Joke: Joe’s GF is Splitting

Joe: “My girlfriend broke up with me. She said I was too passive and don’t stand up for myself.”

Pete: “Did you say anything to her?”

Joe: “Yah. I said, “You’re right about that.”

Today’s Joke: Joe is Always Helpful

Joe: “My girlfriend told me she wanted peace and quiet while she cooked dinner.”

Pete: “Was that a problem?”

Joe: “No, I took the battery out of the smoke detector.”

Today’s Joke: Joe’s GF is Remarkable

Joe: “In good and bad times my girlfriend has always stood beside me.”

Pete: “You’re fortunate, Joe.”

Joe: “Having only one chair helps.”

Today’s Joke: Is Joe a Cheapskate?

Joe: “My girlfriend and I had an argument. She claimed I was a cheapskate.”

Pete: “How did you respond to her?”

Joe: “I told her I’m not buying her argument.”

Today’s Joke: Joe Gives His GF Advice

Joe: “My girlfriend asked my advice because she’s trying to decide being a hair stylist or a short story writer.”

Pete: “What did you say to her?”

Joe: “I told her to flip a coin, heads or tales.”

Today’s Joke: Joe Blew His Chemistry Exam

Joe: “in my chemistry class in night school I had to write a 500 summary on acid.”

Pete: “How did it go?”

Joe: “My laptop turned into a vicious German shepherd, and my desk turned into an elevator shaft.

Today’s Joke: Joe and His GF Go on a Trip

Joe: “My girlfriend and I went on a trip to a postcard factory last weekend end.”

Pete: “How was it?”

Joe: “Nothing to write home about.”

Today’s Joke: This Will Keep Joe Awake

Joe: “I went to our library and asked the librarian if they had any books about paranoia.”

Pete: “Did they?”

Joe: “Yah. They were right behind me.”

Today’s Joke: Joe Had a Bad Breakup

Joe: “I broke up with my girlfriend and texted her, “You can take me off of speed dial.”

Pete: “Did she respond?”

Joe: “She text back, “Who is this?”

Today’s Joke: Joe Rejects a Telemarketing Pitch

Joe: “I got a telemarketing call and the guy was trying to sell me a coffin.”

Pete: “What did you do?”

Joe: “I told him, ‘That’s the last thing I need.'”

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