Joe: “My girlfriend told me I’m number 1 on her list.”
Pete: “That’s great.”
Joe: “Of people she never wants to see again.”
One-Liners
Today’s Joke: Joe Reads His Girlfriend’s Journal
Joe: “I can’t believe what my girlfriend said about me in her journal.”
Pete: “What did she say?”
Joe: “She said I had boundary issues.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Adds an Item to His Shopping List
Joe: “My girlfriend asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list.”
Pete: “Did you?”
Joe: “Yah. Now I can’t read anything on it.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Brother Wins a Gold Medal
Joe: “My brother was so proud of the gold medal he won at the city championships.”
Pete: “He must have felt good.”
Joe: “Yah, he had it bronzed.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Get Advice at Work
Joe: “My buddy at work gave me some great advice.”
Pete: “What was it?”
Joe: “If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence you tried.”
Joke of the Day: Joe’s Dad is Getting Old
Joe: “I can see my dad getting old.”
Pete: “How so?”
Joe: “He has all the answers without being asked a question.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Boss Stops by for a Chat
Joe: “My boss stopped by and chatted with me. I could tell he was lying.”
Pete: “How could you tell?”
Joe: “His lips were moving.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Goes for His Physical Exam
Joe: “I went for physical exam and my doctor said, ‘The best thing for you to do, is give up drinking.”
Pete: “What did you say.”
Joe: “I said, ‘I don’t deserve the best, what’s second best.'”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Doctor Gives Advice on a Colonoscopy
Joe: “My doctor gave me advice for when I have my colonoscopy.”
Pete: “What did your doctor say?”
Joe: “My doctor told me not to be camera shy.”
Today’s Joke: Joe & His Girlfriend Found the Secret
Joe: “My girlfriend and I love dietary fiber.”
Pete: “You do?”
Joe: “Yes. It keeps our relationship bran new.”
