Joe: My girlfriend was diagnosed as having a multiple personality disorder.”
Pete: “Is that causing a problem?”
Joe, “No, she’s good people.”
Joe: My girlfriend was diagnosed as having a multiple personality disorder.”
Pete: “Is that causing a problem?”
Joe, “No, she’s good people.”
Joe: “My grandpa needed some computer help so I told him control P would work.
Pete: “How did it go?
Joe: “My grandpa said, “Idiot, I’ve been trying to do that for years and it hasn’t worked yet,
Joe: “I was thrown out of AA for bringing a can of beer to the meeting. I accepted their decision with grace.”
Pete: “What did you do when they asked you to leave.”
Joe: “As I said, I left with Grace.”
Joe: “My girlfriend is on an all almond diet.”
Pete: “What do you think of that diet?”
Joe: “It’s nuts.”
Joe: “My girlfriend complimented me on the way I come up with ideas.”
Pete: “What did she say?”
Joe: “She said, ‘You have a mind like a steel trap. That’s illegal in most civilized countries.'”
Joe: “My psychologist told me I’m suffering from delusional thoughts.”
Pete: “What did you say to your Psychologist?”
Joe: “I said, ‘No I’m not. I’m enjoying every minute of them.”
Joe: “I learned something by sleeping nude.”
Pete: “What was that?”
Joe: “Flight attendants are not too understanding.”
Joe: “When I was 14 my dad told me I was adopted. I demanded to know who the identity of my biological parents.”
Pete: “What did your dad say?
Joe: “He said, ‘We are your biological parents. Your new parents will pick you up in 30 minutes.'”
Joe: “My girlfriend and I would like to have kids one day.”
Pete: “That’s nice.”
Joe: “The only problem is we don’t think we could stand them any longer than that.
Joe: “I asked Alexa why I can’t keep a girlfriend.”
Pete: “How did Alexa answer?”
Joe: “She said, “I’m Siri, fool.”