This past weekend, Mother’s Day, I traveled to Illinois to spend time with a daughter and her family. It’s my first Mother’s Day without Babe. No sadness, a time for celebration for what was, what is, and what will be.
Love finds a way to heal.
Love finds a way to renew.
Love finds a way to rekindle the fire of life.
Love always finds a way through even the darkest of nights.
Love is the beginning, the middle and the new beginnings of all things.
Love Finds a way
“That’s what people do who love you. They put their arms around you and love you when you’re not so lovable.” ― Deb Caletti
“I sustain myself with the love of family.” ― Maya Angelou
A family has always been a big deal for me. When I was growing up, it was a place I called home. I felt wanted, loved, and encouraged. Was it perfect? Not by any measure. We all held our measure of imperfection. It didn’t matter, it was family. Mom and dad always held an open door and waited for me with open arms.
When I married Babe, we decided we would be a family filled with love. We wanted our five girls to know their mom and dad loved each other and modeled their love for them. We loved, we laughed, we celebrated, we cried, and we forgave. Through it all, we remain a family.
All through Babe’s suffering and death, the five girls rallied around me. They sustained me. They did it because that is what loving families do.
All through my grieving period, their love was the foundation from which I gleaned strength, courage, and determination to go on. Why? Because it is what loving families do.
Family is the place we come from and where we feel we can always return.
Family is the place where, in spite of differences, when the chips are down, we count on each other.
Not everyone has the same experience of family as I did. It is never too late to create a sense of family. It takes two people who care deeply about each other. Two people who dare venture into tomorrow. And, two people who will always have each other’s back. I found strength in my large family. I hope you find strength in your family.
“Don’t let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.” ~John Wooden
“A pessimist is one who makes difficulties of his opportunities and an optimist is one who makes opportunities of his difficulties.” – Harry Truman
Are you ready for today?
Give me my cup of coffee, a hot shower, a time to give thanks to a loving God I have a new day and a new chance. I am ready. I am so ready for a great day. I ask myself:
Am I ready to go all in and give it my best every moment?
Am I ready to believe good things will come my way today?
Am I tougher than my challenges?
Am I ready to love everyone who comes my way today?
Am I ready to leave a positive imprint on every place I travel and on everyone I meet?
Am I ready to see, perhaps for the first time, all the blessings that surround me and to give thanks for them?
Am I ready? I am. Are you ready? Together we will leave it all on the table. We will give it our best each moment. We will make today better than yesterday. We will positively touch the lives of all whom we meet today.
Words to think about
“The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.” — Honore’ de Balzac
Two experiences of mother. Life was never so formal for me. It was always mom. Mom, my first teacher. Mom, the woman who taught me to pray. Mom the woman who loved me from the moment of my conception until the day she died. Mom, who prays for me from her heavenly space. Thank you mom – your gift always remembered. Your gift, I am always grateful. Your gift, life itself.
My second experience gives witness to another mom, my wife Babe. Never complaining. Always loving. Holding each daughter as if she were the only one. A gentle love. A gentle toughness. Arms open wide to wherever the girls’ journey took them. I learned kindness, gentleness, compassion, and forgiveness by witnessing this mom in action. Grateful Babe – Always grateful. Your gift, life itself.
“The more faithfully you listen to the voice within you, the better you hear what is sounding outside of you.” – Dag Hammarskjold
I never had a real mentor. I had three people who touched me along my journey. I wrote an article for a prestigious journal titled, “Friends Along The Journey.” These three people showed up at the right place, right moment, with the right push in the right direction.
I share a brief story about the first of the three “friends.” J was my supervisor early in my career. I’ve always been a free spirit and did things differently from many others viewed as the “correct” way to do them. Somehow, the style worked for me. I’m not sure I would recommend my free-wheeling ways to others. Colleagues grumbled about me. I wasn’t like them. They complained to J. It wasn’t long before J invited me into his office. I knew I was in trouble, or so I thought.
I walked in with the attitude, “take it like a man.” J was a former football player, large, muscular, an imposing figure by any stretch. He looked up from his work, pointed an index finger the size of nice-size dowel, and said, “Sit.”
“Yes, Mr. J,” I answered.
J pushed his glasses down to the edge of his nose, leaned forward, and said, “Ray, you have good instincts. Trust them. That’s it. You can leave.”
“Thank you. Mr. J.” He brushed me off with the wave of a hand.
How fortunate I was to have an authority figure I trusted to give me permission to trust my instincts. I followed his advice from that moment on and it made all the difference in my life.
Trust your instincts.
Trust your gut.
Trust your heart.
Give it whatever name you want to give it, but trust it. It is your inner guide pointing the way for you.
I love tacos! Think about it for a second. No, meditate on it for a moment. When you find your center, there will be a taco waiting for you. Hah, you say. You doubt. You double doubt. I have it on excellent authority from the taco gurus Tony and Tina Martinez, owners of Tony and Tina’s Taco Time Veggie Tacos. Tony and Tiny have been eating tacos since they were a week old. Tony’s abuela (grandmother) claims it ended his cholic. Tony met Tina at a taco food truck. Tony’s working the truck and Tina wanted a vegetarian taco. Tony never heard of a veggie taco, but Tina’s dark eyes, pouty lips, black hair through a steel cable around his heart. He was gone, long gone. He scooped veggies onto a corn tortilla, layered it with guac, added a few jalapenos, asked Tina if she wanted a dab of sour cream. She slowly and seductively shook her head no. Tony asked her to wait a minute, he quit his job, took two veggie tacos and dined with Tina on a nearby park bench. Asked her to marry him. A quick trip to Vegas, Tony and Tina are married. The cause of this romance? Tacos! Veggie tacos.
Let’s get real. We need protein in our veggie taco. Raise your hands vegetarians, “How do vegetarians add protein to their meals.” Not you in the front row. You have enough brownie points. You to the left, put your hand down, you answered the last ten questions. How about you staring out the window, wondering why you’re reading this blog?”
“Who, me?”
“Yes, you.”
“What was the question?”
What did I ever do to deserve this? Is this my penance for sneaking a piece of chicken and telling vegetarians it was quinoa?
Put your hands down, class time is running out. I’ve got to cut to the chase, cross the finish line, meet the WordPress deadline to get this post online before my laptop turns into a pumpkin, apologies to Cinderella fans.
If you can count to five you can do it.
!. Buy extra firm tofu. That’s right extra firm tofu. Cut it in rectangles, squares, triangles, use your creativity as long as it is in bite size or two bite size pieces.
2. Baste it with EVOO, crushed red pepper, put it in a non-stick, easy to clean skillet that has a layer of EVOO, turn the heat up to mostly high. What does mostly high mean? It’s guy talk – I don’t know.
3. Watch the sizzle, flip occasionally. If anyone is watching, add a little flair so you look like you know what you’re doing. When the tofu is closing in on a nice shade of golden brown, toss in the cut up veggies – oops – I didn’t mention the cut up veggies. How hard is to dice onion, poblano pepper, a red pepper, and a jalapeno? Not very. Okay, it is for the dude playing with his iPhone and doing selfies during class to post on Instagram.
4. Mix it all together. If any of the tofu look well done, pull those babies out. When the deal is done, turn off the burner. Move the skillet to the side, put the mixings into a nice bowl, and bring on the tacos. Five steps, recorded in photos for you. Another meal well done, Ray.
5 steps and you have one healthy, awesome veggie taco dinner that will take you to the sweet spot in your center.
Lately I’ve been runnin on faith. What else can a poor boy do?
– Jerry Lynn Williams
When everything you’ve learned doesn’t work. When everything you’ve tried ends up failing. When life knocks you flat on your back, you have no choice but to look up when you open your eyes.
Faith is trusting a loving God, no matter the odds, no matter the challenge, you and I will find the strength to rise to one knee, take a deep breath, stand up, and move on.
Faith is facing the challenge head on that knocked us down.
Faith is you and me saying, “I won’t quit. I won’t give in. I won’t give up.”
Faith discovers strength from deep within.
Faith stirs our will to shout, “You Will Get Through.”
Faith is available to all of us. It’s a wonderful, awesome gift.
Maybe I don’t understand faith as well as others. I know I find courage, strength, and confidence when give my YES to fight on, do my best and trust God to do the rest.
In times when life knocks me down, I will give a resounding YES to fight on. I hope you do as well. We can do it.
Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength.
– Author Unknown
There are days when I wake up and wonder, ‘How am I going to make it through the day?’ Have you had a similar experience? I think it is a common experience we all share.
Standing and staring, sitting and thinking, or lying and wondering doesn’t help me get through the day. If I do any of those things, my anxiety rises, I go into a funk, it’s not a good place to be.
I don’t want to be in that space. It’s not a healthy place. So, I made a deal with myself (sounds absurd, right?). Here’s the deal, “I’ll get up, get going, and plunge headlong into the day. In return, I expect things to work out. I’ll have the courage and strength to meet any challenge. And, at day’s end, I’ll be able to say “Thank You. It was a great day.”
It works for me.
I encourage comments and questions.
“Only those who attempt the absurd can achieve the impossible.” – Albert Einstein
I am a guy dancing alone. In reality, I’m only alone if I choose to be alone. I am surrounded by great neighbors. I have great friends. I have wonderful daughters and grandchildren. Everywhere I travel I meet good people, kind people, compassionate people.
I am attempting the absurd, as Einstein says – I am proving to myself and to all who share a similar journey, suffering doesn’t have the last word. Love has the last word. Despair has no place in the conversation. Love is the conversation. Sorrow will not triumph. Love will triumph over all.
Yes, believing in the awesome, healing, renewing, recreating power of love is absurd. It is the path I follow to achieve the absurd.
The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Have you had tough times? Dumb question, right? We’ve all had our share of tough times. No one is a stranger to life’s storms. We’ve all had moments when our world turned dark, leaving us wondering if the sun will shine again. Life happens
Life happens in ways we don’t understand. The only fair thing about life is that it is unfair, unpredictable, and uncertain.
I believe, in spite of life’s unfairness, unpredictability, and uncertainty, you and I are here for a purpose. I believe our purpose involves other people. It doesn’t take keen insight to know we all need compassion. We all need to feel loved. We all need to feel needed. I know I find my happiness not in things but through my relationships with other people. I find a deep sense of joy when those I love succeed. I feel a deep sense gratitude when I make a difference in someone else’s life.
I’ve come to understand, any happiness I find occurs when I move from ME to We.
