Comedy fun

Joe: “I went for a job interview and was asked, ‘Tell us something about yourself.'”

Pete: “How did you answer?”

Joe: “I said, ‘I prefer not, I want this job.'”

Source

Joe: “I interviewed for a job yesterday and the recruiter asked me. ‘How long were you in your last position?”

Pete: “What did you say?”

Joe: “I said, ‘I’d say my biggest weakness is my listening skills.'”

Source

Joe: “I got fired from my job as a massage therapist.”

Pete: “What happened?”

Joe: “My supervisor said I rub people the wrong way.”

Joe: “I got fired on my first day as a waiter.”

Pete: “Why did they fire you?”

Joe: “Apparently, the customer didn’t want pee soup.”

Joe: “I asked my girlfriend if I was the only one she’d been with.”

Pete: “What did she say?”

Joe: “She said, ‘Yes, the others were eights or nines.'”

Source

Joe: “My wife came into the bar last night as I was drinking with the boys and she said, ‘You’re leaving now.'”

Pete: “What did you say?”

Joe: “I said, I just got here. She said, ‘I’m talking to our sons.'”

Joe: “I made a graph of all my girlfriends.”

Pete: “How did you do that, Joe?”

Joe: “I started with an ex axis, then added a why axis.”

Joe: “My ex wife is deaf and she left me for a deaf guy she met.”

Pete: “That’s too bad, Joe.”

Joe: “I should have paid attention to the signs.”

Joe: “Pete, do you know the difference between a calendar and me?”

Pete: “No, what is it?”

Joe: “A calendar has dates.”

Joe: “A woman on dating site sent me message, “You look great, how come your still single.”

Pete: “How did you respond?

Joe: “I said, ‘You should have used ‘you’re’ instead of your.'”