Comedy fun

Joe: “It was my girlfriend’s birthday and she asked me if I would make her breakfast in bed.”

Pete: “What did you tell her?”

Joe: “I said I couldn’t, I’d have to make it in the kitchen.”

Joe: “I was shocked when my wife told me my seven year old son wasn’t mine.”

Pete: “Were you angry?”

Joe: “No, she told me to pay more attention when I pick him up at school.”

Joe: “My son told me he had an imaginary girlfriend.”

Pete: “What did you tell him?”

Joe: “I said, ‘I saw her and you can do better.”

Joe: “The police stopped me at 2 a.m. and wanted to know if I had been drinking.”

Pete: “What happened?”

Joe: “I told them I was on my way to a lecture on drinking, lying, and infidelity. The policeman asked me where it was being held. I told him, my home.”

Joe: “I was offered a new job today. My salary will be $1000 a week. In six months it increases to $1500 a week. I was asked when I wanted to start.”

Pete: “What did you say?”

Joe: “I said I’d start in six months.” 

Joe: “My boss told me he was looking for me all day and I couldn’t be found.”

Pete: “What did you say?”

Joe: “I said, ‘Good employees are hard to find.'”

Joe: “I’m not going back to work until my boss apologies for what he said to me.”

Pete: “What did your boss say?”

Joe: “My boss said, “Your fired.”

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Joe: “My boss calls me ‘the computer.'”

Pete: “Why’s that, Joe?”

Joe: “I go to sleep if left alone for 15 minutes.”

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Joe: “My boss asked me if I could work this weekend.”

Pete: “What did you say?”

Joe: “I said sure, but I’d be a little late. I should get to work by Monday.”

Joe: “I told my boss we have to stop testing our product on animals. He said other companies do it all the time.”

Pete: “How did you respond?”

Joe: “I said, ‘But, boss we only make hammers.'”

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