Joe: “I lost my job at the cemetery yesterday.”
Pete: “What happened?”
Joe: “I buried someone in the wrong plot.”
Pete: “That’s a shame.”
Joe: “My boss said I made a grave mistake.”
funny
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “I was in a liquor store and an employee asked me, “Do you need help?””
Pete: “What did you say?”
Joe: “I said, “Yes, but I’m going to get beer instead.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “I had a breakthrough while I was rock climbing with a friend.”
Pete: “Really, what was it?”
Joe: “I decided to cut ties with all the people weighing me down. My climbing partner didn’t appreciate it.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “Pete, how did the job interview go?”
Pete: “The interviewer told me I take things too literally.”
Joe: “That’s too bad, what did you say?”
Pete: “I said, “When the hell did my resume learn to talk?”
Today’s Smile 😃
Pete: “My wife complained that I don’t buy her flowers.”
Joe: “Bad move, Pete.”
Pete: “To be honest, Joe, I didn’t know she sold flowers.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe”I ask my boss ,if we could talk becauseI have a problem.”
Pete: “What did your boss say?”
Joe: “My boss replied, “Problem? No such thing, we call it an opportunity!”
Pete: “What did you say?”
JoeI said, “I said, ‘Okay, I have a serious drinking opportunity.’”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “My wife and I were up all night arguing about whose turn it was to do the laundry.”
Pete: “Did you ever settle it?”
Joe: “At 2 am, I folded.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “I said to my boss, “Boss, can I have a week off around Christmas?”
Pete: “What did he say?”
Joe: “He said, “It’s May.” So, I said, “Sorry, Boss. May I have a week off around Christmas?”
Today’s Smile 😃
Pete: “Today I stopped at this roadside stand that said lobster tails $2.”
Jack: “That’s cheap.”
Pete: “I paid my $2 and the guy said, “Once upon a time there was this lobster…”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “I spent hours trying to remember what the opposite of “night” was.”
Pete: “What did you figure out?”
Joe: “I got tired, I just had to call it a day.”
