Joe: “My shower is like my girlfriend.”
Pete: “How so, Joe?”
Joe: “It’s either scalding hot or ice cold.”
funny
Today’s Joke: Joe’s GF Gives Him Advice
Joe: “This morning, over breakfast with my girlfriend, I was telling her about my talk today. She gave me some advice.”
Pete: “What did she say?”
Joe: “She said, ‘Don’t try to be charming, intelligent, or witty. Just be yourself.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Challenges His Night School Professor
Joe: “I told my night school professor I didn’t deserve an F on my test and he agreed with me.”
Pete: “He did? What did he say?”
Joe: “He said, F was the lowest grade the computers allowed him to give me.”
Today’s Joke: Joe is a Natural
Joe: “I used to play piano by ear.”
Pete: “You must be a natural.”
Joe: “Now I use my hands.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s GF Asks Joe a Question
Joe: “My girlfriend asked me if I heard of Pavlov.”
Pete: “What did you say?”
Joe: “It rings a bell.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Has a New Job
Joe: “Tomorrow I start my new job as a garbage collector. But they didn’t give me any training.”
Pete: “What will you do?”
Joe: “The boss said not to worry, I’ll pick it up as I go.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s GF Thinks Joe Is Putting on Weight
Joe: “My girlfriend told me I was getting fat.”
Pete: “What did you say to her?”
Joe: “I said, ‘Lately, I’ve had a lot on my plate.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s GF Has a New Workout Routine
Joe: “My girlfriend got a new workout routine. She’s really good at it.”
Pete: “What is it?”
Joe: Jumping to conclusions.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Didn’t Quite Get the Directions Right
Joe: “My warehouse foreman gave me a roll of bubble wrap and told me to pop it in corner.”
Pete: “That seems like an easy job.
Joe: “It took me a half of a day.
Today’s Joke: Joe’s GF Has an Opinion
Joe: “My girlfriend says making love while on vacation is the best.”
Pete: “It must be because you’re so relaxed.”
Joe: “I wish she didn’t tell me by text message.”
