Joe: “I lasted only one day working as a massage therapist. The owner fired me.”
Pete: “What happened, Joe?”
Joe: “The owner said I was rubbing people the wrong way.”
humorous
Today’s Smile š
Joe: “I told my boss three companies were after me and I needed a raise.”
Pete: “That’s great, Joe. What companies were after you?”
Joe: “Gas, water, and electricity.”
Today’s Smile š
Joe: “I look terrible this morning. I got a black eye and busted lip.”
Pete: “What happened, Joe?”
Joe: “I was trying to defend girlfriend’s reputation.”
Pete: “You’re a great guy, Joe.”
Joe: “I didn’t know my wife could hit so hard.”
Today’s Smile š
Molly: “I went to the doctor and the doctor said, “I have acute appendicitis.”
Sophie: “What did you say?”
Molly: “I said, “Compared to who?“
Today’s Smile š
Joe: “In my annual performance review my supervisor said I lack passion and focus.”
Pete: “What did you say?”
Joe; “I told her she should see me with a pizza.”
Today’s Smile š
Joe: “The school called me today and told me my son’s been telling lies.”
Pete: “What did you say?”
Joe: “I said, ‘Congratulate him on how well he lies, I don’t any kids.”
Today’s Smile š
Joe: “After 12 years of therapy my psychiatrist finally said something that made me cry.”
Pete: “What did he say?”
Joe: “No hablo ingles.”
Today’s Smile š
Joe: “I overheard my psychologist ask his colleague a questions at Starbucks.”
Pete: “What did your psychologist ask?”
Joe: “My psychologist asked his colleague, “How am I feeling?”
Today’s Smile š
Joe: “I’m terrified of elevators.”
Pete: “What are you doing if you don’t use elevators, Joe?”
Joe: “I’m taking steps to avoid them.”
Today’s Smile š
Joe: “What do you call it when you know you’re right, but say you were wrong?”
Pete: “I don’t have a clue, what?”
Joe: “A relationship.”
