Joe: “My girlfriend and I split.”
Pete: “That’s too bad, Joe. What happened?”
Joe: “We didn’t see eye to eye. She’s cross-eyed and was seeing someone on the side.”
laugh out loud
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “I got fired from job at the cemetery yesterday.”
Pete: “Why did they fire you, Joe?”
Joe: “They said I made a grave mistake.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “My girlfriend asked me if I knew why black widow spiders kill their mates after mating.”
Pete: “What did you say?”
Joe: “I asked her why and she said, ‘To stop them from snoring.'”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “I bought a memory foam pillow.”
Pete: “That’s great. How’s it working?”
Joe: “I can’t remember where I put it.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “My girlfriend emailed me photos of our weekend together, but I couldn’t open any of the files.”
Pete: “That’s too bad,Joe.”
Joe: “I’ve always had trouble with emotional attachments.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “I told my doctor that every time I touch my shoulder, jaw, or knee it really hurts.”
Pete: “That’s too bad, Joe. What did your doctor say?”
Joe: “My doctor told me my index finger was broken.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “My doctor told me told me to avoid all unnecessary stress and cut down on drinking.”
Pete: “Are you following your doctor’s advice?”
Joe: “Yes. I ignored my doctor’s bill and only drank one six pack instead of two.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Pete: “Joe, what do you think of the adage, ‘An apple a day keeps the doctor away?”
Joe: “It’s true, if you can throw a fast ball and aim the apple well enough.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “When I got home, my girlfriend left a note on the fridge that said, ‘This isn’t working, bye.”
Pete: “What did you do?”
Joe: “I opened the fridge, sure the light was out, but my beer was cold.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “I went to work last Saturday and my boss asked me what I was doing at work?”
Pete: “What did you say?”
Joe: “I told my boss my girlfriend told me to go to hell, work was the closest I could get.”
