laugh out loud

Joe: “My boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him?”

Pete: “What did you tell your boss?”

Joe: “I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.”

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Question: What did the doctor say to the man who got sick at the airport?

Answer: It’s a terminal illness

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Question: How do you invite a fish to your party?

Answer: Drop it a line.

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Question: How do you properly identify a dogwood tree?

Answer: By it’s bark.

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Question: Why did Cinderella get kicked off the baseball team?

Answer: She ran away from the ball.

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Joe: “I didn’t really like gardening at first.”

Pete: “Did you change your mind, Joe?”

Joe: “I eat at a different restaurant every day.”

Pete: “I don’t tip, either.”

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Question: Why was the faction nervous about marrying the decimal.

Answer: He was afraid he’d have to convert.

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Patient: “Doctor, I’ve swallowed a spoon.”

Doctor: “Sit down and don’t stir.”

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Joe: “Pete, did you hear the joke about the roof?”

Pete: “No.”

Joe: “Never mind. It’s over your head.”