Pete: “How do you like your new job, Joe?”
Joe: “My boss told me that as a security guard, it’s my job to watch the office.”
Pete: “How’s it working out?”
Joe: “I’m watching season 6 now; but I’m not really sure what it’s got to do with security.”
laugh out loud
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: ” You know, Pete, for years I was against organ transplants.”
Pete: “Really?”
Joe: “Yah, then I had a change of heart.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “I called my girlfriend at work and asked, “Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body, like someone’s got a voodoo doll of you and they’re stabbing it?”
Pete: “What did she say?”
Joe: “She said, “No.” Then I said, “How about now?”
Today’s Smile 😃
Pete: “I just got back from a job interview, they asked me if can perform under pressure.”
Joe: “What did you tell the interviewer?”
Pete: “I said I wasn’t too sure about that but I can play the Beer Barrel Polka.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “I met a girl at a club the other night who said she’d show me a good time.”
Pete: “What happened?”
Joe: “When we got outside she ran a 40-meter dash in just 4.5 seconds.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Pete: “I was talking to a girl in a bar last night and she said, “Hey, let’s exchange numbers.”
Joe: “How did that work out?”
Pete: “I said, “Won’t that confuse people who are trying to call us?”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “I lost my job at the cemetery yesterday.”
Pete: “What happened?”
Joe: “I buried someone in the wrong plot.”
Pete: “That’s a shame.”
Joe: “My boss said I made a grave mistake.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “I was in a liquor store and an employee asked me, “Do you need help?””
Pete: “What did you say?”
Joe: “I said, “Yes, but I’m going to get beer instead.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “I had a breakthrough while I was rock climbing with a friend.”
Pete: “Really, what was it?”
Joe: “I decided to cut ties with all the people weighing me down. My climbing partner didn’t appreciate it.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “Pete, how did the job interview go?”
Pete: “The interviewer told me I take things too literally.”
Joe: “That’s too bad, what did you say?”
Pete: “I said, “When the hell did my resume learn to talk?”
