Pete: “My wife complained that I don’t buy her flowers.”
Joe: “Bad move, Pete.”
Pete: “To be honest, Joe, I didn’t know she sold flowers.”
laugh out loud
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe”I ask my boss ,if we could talk becauseI have a problem.”
Pete: “What did your boss say?”
Joe: “My boss replied, “Problem? No such thing, we call it an opportunity!”
Pete: “What did you say?”
JoeI said, “I said, ‘Okay, I have a serious drinking opportunity.’”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “My wife and I were up all night arguing about whose turn it was to do the laundry.”
Pete: “Did you ever settle it?”
Joe: “At 2 am, I folded.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “I said to my boss, “Boss, can I have a week off around Christmas?”
Pete: “What did he say?”
Joe: “He said, “It’s May.” So, I said, “Sorry, Boss. May I have a week off around Christmas?”
Today’s Smile 😃
Pete: “Today I stopped at this roadside stand that said lobster tails $2.”
Jack: “That’s cheap.”
Pete: “I paid my $2 and the guy said, “Once upon a time there was this lobster…”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “I spent hours trying to remember what the opposite of “night” was.”
Pete: “What did you figure out?”
Joe: “I got tired, I just had to call it a day.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “Bob, what’s your favorite word?”
Bob: “Drool.”
Joe: “Why’d you choose that word?”
Bob: “It sort of rolls right off my tongue.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Jack: “I have a pen that can write underwater.”
Bill: “That’s terrific.”
Jack: “It can also write other words too.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Jack: “Did you know 29% of pet owners let their pet sleep on the bed with them, so I gave it a try.”
Bill: “How did it work out?”
Jack: “My goldfish died.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “I’ve dedicated my whole life to finding a cure for insomnia.”
Pete: “That’s great, Joe. How’s it going?”
Joe: “I won’t rest till I find it.”
