Pete: “I warned my daughter about using her whistle inside and gave her one last chance.”
Ken: “How’d she do?”
Pete: “Unfortunately, she blew it.”
Joe: “I took a cab from airport.”
Mike” “How did it go?”
Joe: “The driver said, “I love my job. I’m my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do.” I said, “Turn left here.”
Zeke: “I was coming out of the deli when a cable repairman asked me what time it was?”
Pat: “What did you tell him, Zeke?”
Zeke: “I told him it was between noon and five.”
Mack: “I tell you, Joe, so many people these days are too judgmental.”
Joe: “You really think so?”
Mack: “Oh, yah. I can tell just by looking at them.”
Al: “My wife is threatening to kick me out of the house because of my obsession with acting like a news anchor.”
Jim: “Did she say anything else?”
Al: “I’ll tell you more after this break.”
Tom: “My wife is upset with me.”
Bill: “What did you do?”
Tom: “I remembered the car seat, the stroller, and the diaper bag. Yet, she can’t understand how I forgot the baby.”
Ben: “My son was studying vocabulary and asked me what procrastinate means.
Joe: “Did you tell him?”
Ben: “I was busy, I told him I’ll tell him later.”
Jack: “Man, I’m upset.”
Pete: “How so, Jack?”
Jack: “I bought a guitar the other day and it doesn’t work.”
Pete: “It doesn’t?”
Jack: “I should’ve known when the seller said no strings attached.”
Jose: “I made some fish tacos last night.”
Mario: “How were they?”
Jose: “The fish ignored them and swam away.”
