laugh out loud

Mike: Pat, did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?

Pat: No.

Mike: It was three feet deep on average.

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Mike: I tried to sure the airlines for misplacing my luggage.

Pat: What Happened?

Mike: I lost my case.

Question: How do you stay warm in a freezing cold room?

Answer: Stay in a corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.

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Did you hear about the mathematician whose afraid of negative numbers?

She’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

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Question: What did one plate say to the other plate?

Answer: Dinner is on me!

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Jan: “What day is the best day to go to beach?”

Alice: Gee, I don’t know.

Jan: Sun –  Day, of course.

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Mike: I refuse to buy anything with velcro.

Jack: Why?

Mike: It’s a total ripoff.

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Question: Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?

Answer: Because it’s pointless.

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2 fell in love with 1

2 said, “You’re the only 1 for me.”

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