Joe: “I don’t have a beer gut.”
Pete: “You don’t?”
Joe: “No. I call it a protective covering for my rock hard abs.”
One-Liners
Today’s Joke: Joe Goes on a Blind Date
Joe: “I’ll never go on a blind date again.”
Pete: “Why, Joe?”
Joe: “It’s never good when your blind date turns out to be your ex!”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Boss Asks Him a Question
Joe: “My boss asked me if I was just ignorant or just apathetic?”
Pete: “What did you say?”
Joe: “I said, I don’t know and I don’t care.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Has a Great Joke to Tell Pete
Joe: “I have an autumn joke. But I decided not tell you.”
Pete: “Why won’t you tell me?”
Joe: “You wouldn’t fall for it.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Girlfriend Scores High on Her Driver License Test
Joe: “My girlfriend took driver license test and got 8 out 10.”
Pete: “That’s great. What did she miss?”
Joe: “The two guys on the sidewalk.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Comments About His Friend’s Driver’s License Image
Joe: “My friend Jack is really obese, you should see his driver’s license.”
Pete: “What’s so special about his driver’s license?”
Joe: “His driver license photo is continued on the other side.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Girlfriend Thinks Joe Has Artistic Talent. You Be the Judge
Joe: “My girlfriend thinks I have artistic talent. I painted a homeless guy on a bench.”
Pete: “Your girlfriend liked it?”
Joe: “Yah, but if he’s still there tomorrow, I’ll give him another coat.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Going Bird Watching
Joe: “My girlfriend and I are going on a bird watching vacation.”
Pete: “Where are you going?”
Joe: “We’re just going to wng it.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Been Late for Work All Week
Joe: “My boss came into my cubicle and said, “You’ve been late 5 times this week. Do you know what that means?”
Pete: “What did you say?”
Joe: “I said, that means it’s Friday.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Went to See His Proctologist
Joe: “I went to my proctologist for an examination. He found a piece of lettuce sticking out my butt.”
Pete: “What did your proctologist say?”
Joe: “He said, “it’s only the tip of the iceberg.”
