Joe: “I’m thinking of breaking up with my girlfriend.”
Pete: “What’s the problem?”
Joe: “She has multiple personalities and I’m bad with names.”
comedy
Today’s Joke: Is Joe’s Grandfather Trying to Date?
Joe: “My grandfather asked a woman for her number.”
Pete: “Did she give him her number?”
Joe: Yes, she said, “It’s 149 over 98.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Had an appointment with a Dermatologist
Joe: “I went to the dermatologist yesterday and she said I have a skin condition.”
Pete: “What is it?”
Joe: “Too much skin.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Gives His GF Advice
Joe: “My girlfriend was depressed. She said she felt like she was falling in a bottomless pit.”
Pete: “What did you say to her?”
Joe: “I said, ‘At least you won’t hit your head.'”
Today’s Joke: Joe Broke His Glasses
Joe: “I broke my glasses yesterday.”
Pete: “How are you doing without them?”
Joe: “Okay, I guess. I have to drink out of my hands.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Boss Asks Him a Question
Joe: “My boss asked if I was an optimist.”
Pete: “What did you say?”
Joe: “I said, ‘I hope so.'”
Today’s Joke: Joe Compares His GF to His Shower
Joe: “My shower is like my girlfriend.”
Pete: “How so, Joe?”
Joe: “It’s either scalding hot or ice cold.”
Today’s Joke: Joe and His GF Dine Out
Joe: “I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant and she complained that the food was terrible.”
Pete: “What did you say to her?”
Joe: “I agree and the portions are way too small.”
Today’s Joke: Is Joe Reading a Self Help Book?
Joe: “I’m reading a book that explains everything about my life.”
Pete: “What’s the book’s title?”
Joe: “Inertia.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Helps His GF Make a Decision
Joe: “My girlfriend can’t decide if she wants to be hair stylist or a novelist.”
Pete: “Did you give her any advice?”
Joe: “Yah. I told her to flip a coin and see if it landed heads or tales.”
