Joe: “I was offered a job as a blackjack dealer at the casino.”
Pete: “Are you going to take it?”
Joe: “No. I was offered a better deal.”
funny
Today’s Joke: Joe Won’t Tell Pete a Joke
Joe: “I was going to tell you a joke about leeches but decided not to.”
Pete: “C’mon, Joe. Tell me.”
Joe: “I can’t. It sucks.”
Today’s Jokes: Joe’s GF is Getting Serious
Joe: “My girlfriend introduced me to her parents.”
Pete: “That’s a good sign. What did you say?”
Joe: “I said, ‘Hi, I usually don’t make it this far.'”
Today’s Joke: Joe Got Tossed from an AA Meeting
Joe: “I was thrown out of AA for bringing a can of beer to the meeting. I accepted their decision with grace.”
Pete: “What did you do when they asked you to leave.”
Joe: “As I said, I left with Grace.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Girlfriend Goes on a Diet
Joe: “My girlfriend is on an all almond diet.”
Pete: “What do you think of that diet?”
Joe: “It’s nuts.”
Today’s Joke: Is it a Compliment?
Joe: “My girlfriend complimented me on the way I come up with ideas.”
Pete: “What did she say?”
Joe: “She said, ‘You have a mind like a steel trap. That’s illegal in most civilized countries.'”
Today’s Joke: Joe Disagrees with His Psychologist
Joe: “My psychologist told me I’m suffering from delusional thoughts.”
Pete: “What did you say to your Psychologist?”
Joe: “I said, ‘No I’m not. I’m enjoying every minute of them.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s on a New Diet
Joe: “I’ve been on a new diet for a week.”
Pete: “How’s it working?”
Joe: “I drink beer whenever I’m thirsty. So far I’ve lost three days.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s a Slow Learner
Joe: “I learned something by sleeping nude.”
Pete: “What was that?”
Joe: “Flight attendants are not too understanding.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Better Change His Plans
Joe: “I told my girlfriend I could be anyone I wanted to be.”
Pete: “That’s inspiring. What did she say?”
Joe: “She said, “That doesn’t mean you can do identity theft.”
