Joe: “My girlfriend got upset when I rolled my eyes at something she said.”
Pete: “What did she say?
Joe: “Keep rolling your eyes, you might find a brain back there.”
humor
Today’s Joke: Joe’s GF Had a Close Call
Joe: “My girlfriend got stung by a bee on the forehead. She’s at the ER now, her face all swollen and bruised, she almost died.”
Pete: “That was a close call.”
Joe: ” Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with my shovel.
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Boss Wants Joe’s Constructive Criticism. What Could Go Wrong?
Joe: “My boss said, ‘I’m looking for constructive criticism. I want you to be frank with me.'”
Pete: “What did you say?”
Joe: “I said, “I’d have to go to court first and request a name change.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Pick Up Line Falls Flat
Joe: “I met this girl at a bar and I gave her my best pickup line. She started laughing and turned away from me.,
Pete: “What line did you use?”
Joe: “I said, ‘Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?'”
Today’s Joke: Joe Got Kicked Out of His Club
Joe: “I’ve been kicked out of Peripheral Vision Club”
Pete: “Why?”
Joe: “All I know is I didn’t see it coming.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Joins a Self Help Group
Joe: “Six months ago I joined a self-help group for anti-social people.”
Pete: “How’s it working out?”
Joe: “No idea. We haven’t met yet.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Friend Had Bad Luck
Joe: “My friend’s bakery burned down last night.”
Pete: “That’s too bad, Joe.”
Joe: “For sure, his business is now toast.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Proud of His University
Joe: “94 percent of graduates from my university were placed in jobs.”
Pete: “What about the other 5 percent?”
Joe: “They were English majors.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Upset With His Velcro Sneakers
Joe: “I am never, ever going to buy velcro sneakers again.”
Pete: “Why’s that?”
Joe: “They’re a rip off.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Picky About His Food
Joe: “I really enjoy eating snails.”
Pete: “Why’s that, Joe?”
Joe: “It’s not fast food.”
