Joe: “I think my ex has a sever case of COVID-19.”
Pete: “What makes you thing she has COVID-19?”
Joe: “A Judge gave me an order to stay at least 100 yards away from her.”
humorous
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “Guess who who woke up this morning to 10 missed calls from their ex?”
Pete: “Who?”
Joe: “My ex.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “My ex still misses me.”
Pete: “She does?”
Joe: “Yes, but, her aim is getting better.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “Today was a terrible day.”
Pete: “What happened, Joe?”
Joe: “First, my ex got hit by a bus. Second, I lost my job as a bus driver.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “Pete, do you know the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer?”
Pete: “No, what is it, Joe?”
Joe: “The taste.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “I was at my lawyer’s bedside when he woke up from surgery and asked why I had closed the blinds.”
Pete: “What did you say?”
Joe: “I said, ‘There’s a raging fire across the street and I didn’t want you think the operation was a failure.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “I went to my proctologist for an exam.”
Pete: “How did it go?”
Joe: “While the proctologist was examining me, I said, “You can tell my boss my head isn’t up there.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Joe: “I went to my psychologist and told him I believe I’m the Invisible Man.”
Pete: “What did the psychologist say?”
Joe: “He said he couldn’t see me.”
The Dog ~ Poem by Ogden Nash
The Dog
by Ogden Nash
The truth I do not stretch or shove
When I state that the dog is full of love.
I’ve also found, by actual test,
A wet dog is the lovingest.
That’s The Rule
“Ray, am I right when I say there is a house rule where we can express ourselves without fear?” the snarky remark coming from La Flor.
Oh, oh. My mind races back 24 hours. There was La Flor’s incident with her mystery writer blog friend. They were wearing the same outfit. I got blamed. There was the incident with Little Carmen when he brought her the wrong Starbucks drink. I got blamed. There was the incident where Carmela and TT got a line more attention than she and Little Carmen did. I got blamed.
I decide to jump in the deep end, “That’s the rule.”
It’s not good when her arms go akimbo and she cocks her head to the left, and gestures with her right index finger. It looks like I hit the trifecta.
Her forefinger can within inches from my nose. No nose jokes please. La Flor said, “Yesterday. Yesterday. Yesterday.”
I replied, “Yes, yesterday was yesterday. Where are you going with yesterday? Do you realize it’s today and tomorrow is tomorrow.”
“I am so grateful LC is not like you. He’s sensitive. He’s smart. And, he’s secure in his own skin. Unlike some people I know whose name begins with R and means rat.”
I hold up my hand, “We have another rule, no insults, disparaging remarks.”
La Flor holds up her hand, “We have another rule to always tell the truth.”
I hold up my hand, “We have another rule, it has to be the truth and not an opinion.”
La Flor holds up her hand, “We have another rule, if the opinion is the truth then it’s okay to state an opinion.”
I hold up my hand, “We have another rule, “If the truth is going to hurt, try to say it in a way that is compassionate and kind.”
La Flor holds up her hand, “We have another rule, “If it hurts, suck it up and deal with it.”
“That’s not our rule,” I said.
“Yes, it is. LC and I voted on it this morning,” said La Flor.
“I wasn’t present for the vote.”
“You don’t have to be present if there is a quorum.”
“Were TT and Carmela present?”
“No, but I made them give me their proxies.”
“You made them?”
“Yes. I gave them an offer they couldn’t refuse.”
“You’ve been spending too much time with Big Carmen and Lil Carlo.”
“They’re sweet.”
“What’s the issue you wanted to talk about?”
“What issue?”
Another stimulating conversation with La Flor that leaves me talking to myself.
